Qualifications for Church Leadership:
The Standard for Godly Character 

Lesson 6 - Example

Leaders in the church are to lead by example.

1 Co.4:16  I urge you to imitate me. 
Ga.4:12 I plead with you, brothers, become like me
Php.3:17  Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.  (Try to be like me, and try to be like those who are being like me.)
Heb.13:7  Remember your leaders …Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.
Hos.4:9 says Like people, like priests.  It’s inevitable.  The people will never rise any higher than the level of the leadership.

above reproach (1 Tim.3:2)
	Before getting into these specifics, Paul starts out and says the overseer must be above reproach.  That is a general, all-inclusive term that summarizes the whole list. 
	The word translated above reproach means “Not able to be held on to” or “not criticizable.”  There is no obvious observable sin in his life that everyone can point to as a character defect. The church leader must be a person who can say to the congregation, “Follow my example.”
	In Titus 1:6 and 7, Paul says that elder must be blameless (cannot be called to account, unaccused).  In verse 8, he says the elder must be upright, (that is, righteous) and holy.  He is to be righteous in the sense of living in conformity to God’s standards, which is observable on the outside.  He is to be holy (hosios, not hagias), which refers to an inner purity and cleanness.  It means “uncontaminated.”  
	So together, the terms mean he has to be someone who has good behavior on the outside and who is clean and pure on the inside.  It is a description of total and complete godliness: outside, inside, actions, thoughts, conduct, motives.  
	Titus goes on to say he must be one who loves what is good.  You can tell the condition of your heart by what you love.  And you can tell what you love by what you spend your time/money/energy on, what you spend your time thinking about, and whose company you enjoy.  
	Those things indicate whether or not a person is a lover of good – good things and good people.  If the things that dominate the person’s life are excellent, beautiful, edifying and beneficial, and those are the things he craves – things that are important and eternal, then he’s a lover of the good.  
	In 1 Timothy 3:8, we see that Deacons must be…sincere.  The words translated sincere literally mean “not two-faced” or “not double-tongued.”  The point is that the deacon must possess integrity.  
	The word “integrity” means the same things as “homogenized.”    Milk, before homogenization, separates, and the fat floats to the top.  So if you look at the top you get one thing, and if you check the bottom you get something else.  With homogenized milk, no matter where you sample it, you get exactly the same thing.  
	The person of integrity is a person whose life is consistent.  What you see on the surface is the same as what lies down deep.  If you see the person at church you see the same person that you see if you bump into him at the video store or on the highway.

Lesson 6 – Example (con’t)

Do you believe most of the people in the congregation would do well spiritually if they would follow your example?

Looking over the list of qualifications in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, which would you consider to be your areas of strength?  Why?

Which areas do you feel you need the most improvement or are particularly difficult for you?  Why?

Spouses Opinion:

Lesson 7 – Gender

Before starting through the list of qualifications, there is one important observation we need to make from verse 1.  Paul says if any man desire the office of an overseer…  And when referring to an elder In Titus 1:6, Paul calls him a “man”.  
God calls men to be pastors, not women.  All the way through this section every term is in the masculine gender.  Notice also that the phrase “husband of one wife” is repeated three times in these two passages.  
Why is that?  Why not women?  That question is answered back in chapter two. 
A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. – 1 Timothy 2:11-14
It is the practice of Agape church to ordain only men to serve as elders.  In addition, women are not permitted to be in a leadership or teaching role over men.  However, women are certainly encouraged to instruct children and other women, and are encouraged to do so in Titus 2:4.
Can women serve as Deacons?  Many feel that Scripture seems to allow women to serve in this role.  In Romans 16:1, Phoebe is referred to using the Greek word “diakonon”, which literally means deaconess, and many scholars feel the best way to interpret 1 Timothy 3:11 is as a reference to deaconesses.  Unlike the office of overseer, there is nothing inherent about the role of a deacon that would violate Biblical principles regarding the role of men and women.  Although not as clear in Scripture as the office of Overseer or Deacon, it is the practice of Agape Church to appoint women as Deaconesses, as long as they do not violate the prohibitions against teaching or having authority over men.  And while their input is considered in the decision making process of the church, the actual decisions are made by the men.

True or False?  I am in agreement with the position held by Agape Church that the office of Elder (or Overseer or Pastor) is to be held only by men, and that women are not permitted to teach or have authority over men.  Explain any exception or difference.

Lesson 8 - Marital Soundness

The husband of one wife (1 Timothy 3:2, 3:12, Titus 1:6) literally “a one woman man”.

	The deacon must be faithful to his/her spouse if married, and chaste if unmarried.  The deacon must not be flirtatious in any way. There must be absolutely no question as to what woman/man the deacon is devoted to.  
	The deacon must be a person who is generally faithful, reliable and trustworthy – someone who keeps his vows even when it hurts. (Ps.15)
We believe this implies the deacon must have an exemplary marriage in general.  A deacon must be able to say to the church, “If you develop a marriage like ours, you will be doing well.”  

Responsibilities of a husband:
	The deacon must be a good example in fulfilling his responsibilities as a husband.  This includes:
- Considerate, treating his wife with respect - 1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
- Loving his wife, not harsh - Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
- Loving his wife, giving of himself for her sake, taking responsibility for her spiritual growth and welfare - Ephesians 5:25-29 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,  27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church

My marriage is 	 
A.	Exemplary (A Good Example to follow)
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the area of Marital Soundness, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s opinion

Lesson 9 - Mental Soundness  
(Tape 35b & 37)

temperate, self-controlled (1 Tim.3:2), respectable (1 Tim.3:8)

temperate  “alert”
	The idea here is clarity of thought, alertness, mental sharpness and control of one’s emotions. 	Not everyone can put all their thoughts into words. But the deacon has to be one who is clear and sharp enough as a thinker that he can describe the thoughts that he has in a meaningful way that makes sense to people.  

self-controlled  “sensible”
	While temperate addresses clarity of thought, self-controlled speaks more of the connection between thought and action. The deacon must be a person whose life is driven by sensible deliberate decisions, not by impulses. He must not have knee jerk reactions or panic in a crisis.  He can keep a cool head in a hot meeting.  He can stay on an even keel and provide confident, calm leadership in time when other people begin to loose their grip on their emotions.  
	The deacon must not be given to any habits or excesses.  He must be in command of what comes out of his mouth.

respectable 
	The deacon must be one who is respectable, dignified, poised, articulate, worthy of admiration whose life wins respect from all because of how ordered, well-structured, efficient and systematized his life is. Church leadership involves setting things in their place, ordering the priorities, administration, putting things in the proper place in time, priority, etc. A deacon must be able to do that.

In the area of being temperate, self-controlled and respectable, my life is
A.	Exemplary				
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the area of Mental Soundness, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s opinion:

Lesson 10 - Hospitality & Doctrinal Soundness

Hospitable  (1 Tim.3:2, Tit.1:8)     

	The church leader must be a loving person - one who takes care of people who don’t have anyone else to take care of them and who turns outsiders into insiders. He is a lover of strangers, drawing them in to his circle of love and care. His attitude is not, “Well, it’s their responsibility to make friends and get involved,” but rather, “It is my responsibility to reach out to outsiders and bring them in.”   
	One who is hospitable sets a good example of greeting and welcoming others, especially visitors.  He takes the initiative to reach out to others by inviting them to his home or to get together for a meal.  

In the area of hospitality, my life is
A.	Exemplary						
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the area of Hospitality, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s Opinion:

Lesson 10 - Hospitality & Doctrinal Soundness (cont’d)

He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. (Titus 1:9)  

Able to teach (1 Timothy 3:2)

The one qualification that sets the overseer apart from the server is the ability to teach.  The elder must be a skilled teacher and be able to communicate truth clearly.  The overseer must have a command of theology and know what the essentials of the Gospel are.  He must know what the Bible says about major issues, and he must be able to spot error and skillfully refute it.

Deacons….must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. (1 Timothy 3:9)
	While Deacons are not required to be good teachers, they must still be doctrinally sound.  They must know and strongly hold to the truths of Scripture.

In the area of doctrinal soundness, my life is
A.	Exemplary						
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the area of Doctrinal Soundness, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s Opinion:

Lesson 11 - Temperance 

not given to drunkenness (1 Timothy 3:3, Titus 1:7) - Lit: “Not near or beside wine”
not indulging in much wine (1 Timothy 3:8)

An Exemplary Life in the Area of Alcohol

	The question of whether a Christian should drink alcohol or abstain cannot be answered merely by pointing to the fact of wine consumption by Christians in the first Century, since the kind of wine we have today did not exist in the first Century. Ancient wine ranged from 2.8 proof to less than 10 proof and was mixed with water (drinking unmixed wine was considered barbaric even by unbelievers).  Modern wine is between 14 and 48 proof.  And hard liquors (80+ proof) require distillation which is first mentioned in the 10th century AD. The requirement that an elder not be “beside wine,” is a warning against lingering too much even with those weak, diluted drinks. 
	There are at least eight factors that make drinking dangerous in our culture:

1.	The danger of impairing decision making 
	Scripture gives numerous warnings against strong drink:
-	It distorts the perception of reality (Is  28:7; Pr.23:33)
-	It impairs the capacity to make  responsible decisions (Lev 10:9-11)
-	It weakens moral  sensitivities and inhibitions (Gen 9:21; 19:32; Hab 2:15; Is  5:11-12)
	The reason leaders were not to drink was because they had to make important decisions. Even the world recognizes this.  Police officers, for example, do not drink while on duty.  Many employers would fire any employee who drank while on the clock. This is not true of every job, but it’s generally true of jobs where people are making important decisions. 	If that is the case for the world regarding earthly decisions, how much higher should the standard be for those in spiritual leadership?  If you would not want your brain surgeon having a drink just before he operated on you, how much more important is the kind of surgery we do? As a church leader you are “on the clock” 24 hours a day.  Every social situation, every moment when there could be any spiritual warfare (which is every moment), it is critical that we not be impaired in any way unnecessarily.  

2.	Warnings and drunkenness.  Eph.5:18
	The Bible does not give a precise blood alcohol level for drunkenness.  It just refers to the altering of your mental or emotional state by means of the chemicals in alcohol. Eph.5 contrasts drunkenness with being filled with the Spirit.  The idea is that the kinds of influences people seek from alcohol should be sought from God.  Instead of being influenced by alcohol, you should be influenced by the Spirit. So if someone has a drink to help him relax, to stop worrying, to be able to interact socially, to escape anxiety, etc., he is seeking from alcohol that which he should be seeking from the Holy Spirit.
	The effect that alcohol has on you is gradual, and so it doesn’t become noticeable until it is somewhat pronounced.  And since it dulls your thinking, it becomes even more difficult to notice.  So if you drink until you notice a change, you have already gone too far.  If you drink and don’t notice any change, it’s still possible that you have gone too far.

3.	The danger of causing a weaker brother to stumble (Ro.14:20)
	Any time there is a behavior that is closely associated with a sinful lifestyle – even if the behavior itself is not inherently evil, it becomes very dangerous. A weaker brother can fall back into that life because of you, and you never know who is watching (especially if you are a leader).

4.	The danger of becoming addicted (1 Co.6:12)

5.	The danger of doing bodily harm inhibiting servanthood (Ga.5:13, Pr.23:20-21;  Hos.7:5; Is 19:14; Ps 60:3); - if you do excessive damage to your body, you hinder your own servanthood.

6.	The danger of being a poor witness

7.	The danger of violating your conscience (1 Co.8:7)

8.	The Danger of poor stewardship (alcohol is very expensive)  (Mt.25:14-30)

In the area of alcohol or any other drugs, my life is
A.	Exemplary
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Explain your practice with regard to drinking alcohol:

Do you feel it is appropriate for church leaders (Elders and Deacons) to drink alcohol?  Why or why not?

Would you be willing to give up alcohol for the sake of a weaker brother?

Spouse’s Opinion:

Lesson 12 Patience & Contentedness

not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.. (1 Tim.3:3)

not violent but gentle  
	Those who are experts in Greek say there is no English word that captures the full idea of the word translated gentle. It is a “sweet reasonableness.”  A gentle person is more concerned with people than with rules.
	This is the person who cuts people some slack.  He understands human weakness.  

not quarrelsome 
	Refers to a person that can’t be drawn into a fight.  He is not easily angered or easily offended – even when provoked.  A person with a temper is disqualified.  

not overbearing (Tit.1:7)
	This is the man who becomes consumed with his own importance, and begins to look down on everyone.  His ministry revolves around him.  He is very concerned with his rights.  Whenever you see someone who is consumed with protecting his/her rights, you know you are dealing with this kind of person.  A humble, selfless godly person has a very faint concept of his own rights.  He rarely if ever thinks about them, and when he does they are of little or no importance to him.  
	Together these words describe a person who has sharp, rough edges.  Whenever you come in contact you end up with lacerations and contusions on your spirit.

In the area of patience, my life is
A.	Exemplary						
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the area of Doctrinal Soundness, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s Opinion:

Lesson 12 Patience & Contentedness (con’t)

not a lover of money (1 Timothy 3:3)
not pursuing dishonest gain (1 Timothy 3:8, Titus 1:7)  
	A person who lacks contentment is disqualified from church leadership.  Preoccupation with finances or any other material thing is a distraction to ministry, as well as an enormous point of vulnerability to temptation.
	
In the area of contentedness, my life is
A.	Exemplary					
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the area of contentedness, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s Opinion:

Lesson 13 - Management 

1Ti 3:12  A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well.

family (literally: “house”)  Refers to all the resources under his responsibility. If he has all the other moral qualities, but can’t live within his means, or is in extreme debt, or evidences some other inability to manage his area of responsibility, he may be disqualified.
	The word manage is a strong term.  It means to be in authority and rule. The man is the head of the home, and is responsible to lead.
	Female deacons, however, can also be tested along this line. Scripture calls for wives to have a managing role in the home. 1 Tim 5:14  I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
	The management requirement includes managing his children.  A deacon is not to be a man who passes off the responsibility of disciplining and training the children to his wife, or a woman whose children are completely out of control.

1 Ti.3:4  He must rule his house well  kalw/j
	He must not only manage, but be must do it well (beautifully).  There is something about a smoothly-running, calm, organized, efficient home dominated by respect that is very beautiful.
	
In the area of management, my life is
A.	Exemplary									
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the area of managing your home, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s Opinion:

Lesson 14 - Maturity & Humility

1 Tim.3: 6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 
	The general pattern we notice in the Bible is that men usually didn’t enter leadership ministries until about age 30. I think that is a good general guideline for Agape as well with respect to elders. It is very difficult for a man to command respect as an elder if he is much younger than age 30.

he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. 
	The idea here is that if we elevate a man too quickly, we place him in grave danger of becoming proud. He won’t be able to resist thinking, “I’ve already reached the level of these older men.  I must be exceptional…” So the point of 1 Ti.3:6 is if you elevate a new convert to leadership, you risk a horrible disaster for that man’s soul – the same awful fate the Devil himself will encounter.   

I have been a committed, growing believer for _______ years.

In the area of maturity and humility, my life is
A.	Exemplary				
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the areas of Maturity and Humility, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s Opinion:

Lesson 15 - Reputation

1 Tim.3:7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap. 
	This does not mean the world has to like him.  If he is anything like Jesus, there is a good chance they will hate him.  But if they hate him, it must be because of the Gospel and no other reason.  He can’t be the kind of guy who would go to work the next morning after being ordained and everyone would say, “You’ve got to be kidding – they made you an elder?”
	In Tit.1:6 the statement about children has to do with reputation as well.
having faithful children who are not open to the charge of being wild and not disobedient
	We understand this to be speaking of older children still in the home.  The word wild refers to a lifestyle that is wasteful, immoral, profligate and dissipate.  
	Note that it does not just say wild, but not open to the charge of being wild. The idea is of reputation.  Maybe the kid isn’t like that all the time, but he has been seen at those kinds of parties, or he is associated with that lifestyle in some tangential way. If he is open to any valid accusation of significant association with such things, his father is disqualified.
	This is the opposite of a trustworthy kid. A trustworthy kid you can leave home for the weekend without having to worry about what he might do.
	In 1 Timothy 3 we see that the obedience of young children is a test of the man’s management ability.  This is different. The idea here is not obedience, but trustworthiness. He must have trustworthy children so that he will have the respect of the people. 

and not disobedient  The words means “rebellious.” It is just talking about disobeying his father, but being rebellious in general.  

In the area of reputation, my life is
A.	Exemplary
B.	Average
C.	Below average

Summarize how you are doing in the area of your reputation, including your strengths, struggles, and how you would like to improve:

Spouse’s Opinion:

Tested  

1 Tim.3:10  They must first be tested; and if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.
	No matter how qualified a person is, he can’t serve as a deacon until the leadership of the church knows without any question that he is qualified.  This takes time.  

Do you feel like you have been at Agape long enough, and have had enough contact with the Elders for your character to be known sufficiently for you to be selected as a deacon?

In what ways do you feel like your leadership abilities have been tested and proven at Agape?

How have you served in ministry at Agape?  

Have you led any ministries?  Please explain.

Spouse’s Opinion: