# Embody Your Power Podcast - Episode 16 Make Overwhelming Feelings Manageable
# https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ha12saotsmk  uploaded 20231114  1357s  views 38

[00:00:02] hi I'm Danielle Karen and in this podcast I'm going to share with you knowledge and tools that I believe should be accessible to everyone they're fundamental and essential to Being Human embody your power is an integrative model that Bridges science spirituality and ancient wisdom to give you the resources needed to live your fullest potential as a psychotherapist for over 16 years and now as a coach I help people know reclaim and embody their power on all levels it's my mission to help you connect to your unshakable resilience to know true power and freedom to be Sovereign and to remember your divine nature if you're wanting to learn tools to release layers of conditioning heal from trauma feel at home in your body have inner peace expand your capacity for Joy connect spiritually and take a

[00:01:06] journey with me to embody your power then this podcast is for you thank you for joining me together let's raise our Consciousness to help evolve [Music] Humanity do you have a hard time regulating your body without the use of a substance medication food technology porn or shopping are you addicted to something to feel better do the feelings and Sensations in your body feel out of your control in this episode I'll teach you how to help your nervous system integrate overwhelming experiences feelings and Sensations so that you can feel in control and at home in your body you'll learn how to make something overwhelming manageable to be

[00:02:09] with the nervous system has its natural rhythm of Regulation when our nervous system is in its natural Rhythm life feels manageable it's like when we're pressing on the gas and break on our car and the ride is smooth relaxing and enjoyable the gas being like the sympathetic nervous system that gives us the energy the drive the go and the break is like the parasympathetic nervous system that allows us to rest digest and relax the nervous system has a zone that when we're in it life feels manageable and it also has boundaries that when we cross over either side we feel overwhelmed we all have various ranges of what's manageable in our nervous system this can be called the range of manageability or window of Tolerance someone can have a narrow window of Tolerance meaning they may only be able to experience a small

[00:03:11] amount of activation or stimulation before feeling overwhelmed While others have a wide range of feelings they can experience and still feel regulated an example of the contrast could look like a person who goes to concerts every weekend and likes being in the middle of all the action near the front of the St stage versus someone who goes to a concert once in a while and hangs back out of the chaos with earplugs in there's no judgment here as there are many things out of our control that can impact the flexibility in our nervous system trauma is a major cause of narrowing our window of Tolerance however we can work to help increase our range of manageability with the techniques I'm about to share when we experience any type of trauma or threat the nervous system gets flooded with a tremendous amount of energy and activation to survive you can think of activation as things like increased heart rate blood pressure sweating blood flow to the

[00:04:15] muscles and stress hormones this incredible amount of energy can breach the boundaries of our nervous system to the point where we're feeling like we're stuck with our foot on the gas or break or both in any case we can feel out of control overwhelmed and Unsure how we got off track and how to get back many people who've experienced trauma have a hard time coming back into regulation in their nervous system we can feel like we're going from one extreme to another and never reaching what I call the Goldilocks just right Zone where life feels manageable we either have too much gas too much break or both the gas and the brake on at the same time which is when we feel Frozen the engine is revving but the car isn't moving I have a lot of compassion for this predicament of disregulation especially because we aren't taught how to bring ourselves

[00:05:17] back into regulation when we're not taught how to do that then we can easily become dependent on or addicted to things outside of ourselves in an attempt to feel regulated for example if we're stuck with our foot on The Brak which could appear as feeling dissociated depressed apathetic lethargic or disconnected we might look for stimulating substances High adrenaline activities risky behaviors or dopamine hits from sex gaming or shopping and if we're pressing on the gas too much which could appear as stress anxiety panic Panic anger hypervigilance or insomnia we might reach for Comfort Foods relaxing substances or a release from sex porn or intense exercise or we might use our phone internet or TV to check out we might even isolate ourselves to avoid any

[00:06:20] additional stimulation the response to trauma often shows up in extremes so it could be the opposite response for example if our foot is stuck on the break we'll either seek out stimulating things or more reasons to stay in bed and check out or we might alternate between the two yet we aren't able to find the middle Zone where our nervous system feels regulated when we're feeling out of control in our body protective parts of our psyche that are afraid of that intensity will do their best to shut it down the process of pushing down or avoiding the activation in our nervous system takes a lot of energy and can be exhausting in and of itself it's like trying to stop the water coming out of your bathtub by putting your hand over the faucet you have to work very hard to try to stop the water this is happening internally when our parts are trying to manage the

[00:07:23] overwhelm when it comes to integrating the intensity in our nervous system we can't integrate anything when we're feeling overwhelmed if we try to release all the energy at once it's not only overwhelming it can be ret traumatizing and cause backlash we can ret traumatize ourselves when we keep triggering the same overwhelming response to an experience for example if someone experienced a lot of activation in their nervous system when they were attacked and then they go to a therapist and tell their story from start to finish they're reliving the same experience and deepening the associated responses and neural Pathways even if the person is disconnected from their body while they're telling the story their body is having a stress response backlash is when we're attempting to make a change and parts of our psyche resist the change we have ingrained or subconscious habits defense mechanisms or beliefs

[00:08:27] that surface with intensity in response to the proposed change let's say for example someone has been sober for years and they've managed to suppress their past trauma activation then they get into a car accident and all this energy from the present and past trauma comes flooding through this can lead to them feeling out of control and parts jumping in to manage the overwhelm in this situation the backlash could be the person using Al alcohol again if we're about to access a memory or feeling that has a lot of intensity we can have an extreme part jump in the driver's seat because it perceives that the feelings will be overwhelming extreme Parts can look like anger or rage any type of addiction to food sex or a substance spending money or gambling reckless driving or any type of self sabotaging behaviors another way Parts can keep us

[00:09:30] from feeling what's present in our body is by making us feel sleepy and dissociated it's actually very common for people to use sleep as a way of regulating the intensity in their lives and in their body if we don't know how to work with the activation in our nervous system properly there's wisdom in the parts that will lock it away or do their best to shut it down because it can actually cause more pain and suffering when it comes up and we don't know how to work with it I like to use the following analogy to understand how the nervous system integrates experiences think about a delicious sandwich that you like to eat now what would happen if you put the whole sandwich in your mouth at once and triy to swallow it your body would Rebel it would push the sandwich back out if we want to digest the sandwich then we have to take small bites chew them and then our body can integrate it our nervous system integrates things in

[00:10:32] a similar way we want to take one bite-sized piece at a time a word that is used for this is titration which is a word that comes from chemistry let's say we have two reactive substances that we want to mix and if we mix them all at once we'll have an explosion however if we take one substance and drop one drop at a time into the other liquid then the two can be combined without an explosion because each drop will have a chance to integrate slowly I like to use the word titration for working with small amounts of activation in the nervous system as well as anything that can be broken down into smaller pieces so that we can integrate it let's explore some ways we can titrate feelings Sensations and activation in our nervous system first the body and nervous system can only integrate experiences when we bring our awareness to our body that's really important

[00:11:34] because many of us try to manage the intensity in our body while being disconnected from it when our awareness is connected to our body we can help things move toward health and we can move activation through to completion when we disconnect our awareness from our body it stops things from moving toward health and completion and instead energy gets stuck which can cause all types of symptoms as well as physical and mental health issues let's use an example of someone wanting to work with the anxiety in their body that's associated with multiple car accidents the client is wanting to heal from these accidents so that they can feel more comfortable driving again when we look at healing from a car accident there can be many aspects of the accident that can cause stress anxiety and activation for example before the accident the client could have had an intuitive feeling that they didn't want to drive that

[00:12:37] day they may have already been feeling nervous about driving in the rain or snow before the accident someone could have distracted them during the accident let's say another car was out of control and coming toward them they would feel a surge of adrenaline there's the terror pain and activation of the impact when they're car is hit and their body is injured after the accident someone can experience additional stress if they didn't feel treated with respect by the other driver police officers or EMTs they can feel anger and rage at the other driver when they get to the hospital it's possible to experience medical Trauma from how they're treated how the procedures are done or side effects from medications or surgeries then there's the stress of dealing with the injuries erect car insurance companies and lawyers when someone has a traumatic experience like a car accident it's not

[00:13:40] just the moment of impact that's causing nervous system disregulation however the moment of impact or the most lifethreatening moment usually contains the greatest amount of activation for the body to experience so when I help someone heal from any type of trauma I help them release the activation starting at the edges of the experience meaning we work with what happened before and after the impact first we work through all the other stressful and traumatic events and then release the activation of the impact Last by releasing activation along the way when we get to the most intense part of the trauma it's more manageable to be with by doing this we TI trate the intensity of the whole event back to the person who is feeling anxious in their body and is wanting to heal from their car accidents let's say we just want to work with the feeling of anxiety in their body right now when I ask them where

[00:14:44] they feel the anxiety they point to their chest and say that it's most intense around their heart area if they try to bring their awareness to the sensation it feels too overwhelming so they disconnect their awareness from their body or a part comes in to distract them so they start talking about something else so how can we make these feelings manageable so that we can be present with them one option is to titrate the intensity of the anxiety by asking someone to be with and feel one molecule of it I always give people permission to not feel 100% of the feeling again if being with 100% of the feeling is like sticking the whole sandwich in our mouth then it's not helpful because we can't integrate it when we're focusing on just one molecule of the sensation we can stay present with it and feel more confident that we can be with the feeling when the feelings are manageable the nervous system can integrate them meaning the

[00:15:48] feelings can move through US rather than stay stuck as our confidence builds we can be with more of the feeling we can apply the same concept to being with 1% or a small percentage of the feeling when you're feeling something overwhelming whether it be positive or negative you can ask yourself if you can be with 5% of it for example many people have a hard time receiving compliments if this is the case for you instead of resisting the compliment altogether see if you can take in and feel a little bit of it another option is to draw a line in our mind around the area the anxiety takes up in our body so that on the other side of the line we're not feeling anxious then we can bring our awareness to the edge of the line and see if that feels manageable to be with sometimes it can be helpful to go back and forth between the side that feels anxious and the side that doesn't to titr trate the

[00:16:53] intensity we can also help our nervous system regulate intense feelings by first staying with with a positive feeling or sensation in our body as we stay with a relaxing sensation we may notice the intensity of the painful or overwhelming sensation starts to decrease then we can stay with the experience that is more challenging for as long as it feels manageable and then we could take a break and go back to the more relaxing or calming sensation this is a process in which we can go back and forth and by doing so can help titrate the intensity of our experiences another way to titrate the intensity of an experience is by accessing our core self and separating from the parts of our psyche if someone is feeling anxious I help them separate from this protective part remember all protective Parts carry fear anxiety is afraid that if it didn't make us anxious then we would experience

[00:17:56] some kind of pain or we would get hurt again when Parts like this take us over it can feel very overwhelming it's like a kid in distress with no one around to help it without access to our core self the anxious part can easily turn into Panic so we can make the experience more manageable by identifying the anxious part getting an image of it and then separating from it once we can separate from it we access our core self with which is inherently regulated let me repeat that when we're present in our core self our nervous system is naturally regulated this allows us to be with the feelings and activation of our parts in a manageable way however if the parts don't know about the core self they will continue to try to avoid the pain it's common for a part to say I don't want you to feel that sadness or anger because if you do it will be never

[00:19:01] ending however we can work with any emotion even when it initially feels like we'll be consumed by it we can tie trate the experience of our parts by using the same methods I just named such as being with 1% or one molecule of the feeling that the part is having we can also ask the parts to not overwhelm us which they will agree to once they realize that by not overwhelming ing us they will get their needs met we can titr trate the intensity of the parts by seeing them at a younger age rather than our current age this can help make the feelings that this part is experiencing more manageable to be with can you imagine the difference of sitting with the same age you who is feeling rejected versus sitting with a young child who's feeling rejected we're being present with the same feeling however we've just made it so it's more manageable to be with the core self can be with our

[00:20:04] part's greatest fear and worse pain therefore the core self is essential in helping the nervous system integrate experiences we embody our power when we know how to work with intense feelings Sensations and activation and when we know how to use our awareness to regulate our nervous system when we know how to do this we are no longer dependent on addictive behaviors and unhealthy habits to try to manage the intensity in our body when our parts see that we know how to manage our feelings they can finally relax and we have more access to our power in our core self at the end of this episode I invite you to try using these methods to titrate the intensity of feelings Sensations and activation in your body practice bringing your awareness to your body so that you know what's happening in your nervous system give yourself permission to not

[00:21:08] feel 100% of what you're experiencing and instead feel one molecule or a small percentage of it try to bring your awareness to the edge of the sensation go back and forth between a positive sensation and one that is difficult to feel what you're experiencing can often be the feelings or sensations of a part of your psyche see if you can make the experience more manageable by identifying the part getting an image of it and then separating from it finally practice accessing your core self where you are inherently regulated thanks for listening to this podcast if you found this episode helpful please consider assisting me in reaching more people by sharing it with others or writing a review together let's raise our Consciousness to help

[00:22:12] evolve Humanity for more information please visit my website danielc caron.com that's d n i l l e c a r r o n.com
