# Embody Your Power Podcast - Episode 10 Exiles and Essential Nutrients
# https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-8DxQm0rXM  uploaded 20231003  2016s  views 16

[00:00:02] hi I'm Danielle Karen and in this podcast I'm going to share with you knowledge and tools that I believe should be accessible to everyone they're fundamental and essential to Being Human embody your power is an integrative model that Bridges science spirituality and ancient wisdom to give you the resources needed to live your fullest potential as a psychotherapist for over 16 years and now as a coach I help people know reclaim and embody their power on all levels it's my mission to help you connect to your unshakable resilience to know true power and freedom to be Sovereign and to remember your divine nature if you're wanting to learn tools to release layers of conditioning heal from trauma feel at home in your body have inner peace expand your capacity for Joy connect spiritually and take a

[00:01:06] journey with me to embody your power then this podcast is for you thank you for joining me together let's raise our Consciousness to help evolve [Music] Humanity do you suffer from feeling like you're not enough you're alone you're unlovable or you're Unworthy of the things that you want in life have you experienced being overcome with intense emotions flashbacks or nightmares in this episode I'll explore the parts of our psyche that get locked away or exiled and carry these beliefs or messages about ourselves as well as intense emotions and memories I'll also show you how to update your subconscious progr programs and heal those exiled Parts whenever parts of ourselves are cut off or separated from the source that nourishes us we

[00:02:10] suffer Our Lives become more difficult when our understanding of ourselves Narrows and we identify with small and limited aspects of ourselves meaning we lose connection with our core self and start to identify as the fragmented part when parts of ourselves get locked away we're not operating at 100% and we're spending a lot of energy to keep those parts locked away many of our Exiles exist and suffer because they were cut off from receiving essential nutrients from parents or caregivers When We Were Young as a child we depended on certain adults to receive these essential nutrients and not receiving them can cause so much pain that the pain gets locked away I'll show you step by step how to retrieve and heal these exiled parts so that you can embody your power our exiled parts are often referred to as our inner child wounded child suppressed or repressed Parts they're called Exiles because

[00:03:12] they're locked away or exiled by the protective parts of our psyche Exiles can be experienced as dissociated or fragmented Parts they can be experiences and memories that we can't remember because they're exiled or locked away the main emotion of our exiled Parts is emotional pain for example feeling rejected abandoned alone unlovable wrong unworthy unsafe ashamed insignificant or hopeless the Exiles are stuck in time reliving the pain from the past and they try to get our attention so that they can heal exiled Parts know that they can't subtly get our attention or the protectors will quickly lock them away again so they'll come through with intense feelings flashbacks nightmares or even bodily illness or disease to get our

[00:04:13] attention this is why parts of you will flood you with these intense feelings the wisdom in this is that if they can get your attention they have a chance to heal and no longer be stuck in the past reliving the pain or trauma all alone when you've experienced something painful the parts that carry the pure pain of that experience are the Exiles then the protectors come in to lock those exiled Parts away because one they don't know about your core self and your ability to be with the exile's pain or two they don't trust that your core self can be with the pain of the Exile so we want to help the protectors know about your unshakable resilience and ability to be with the exile emotions and pain Exiles carry burdens from painful experiences which can be beliefs and messages that are not true about ourselves but we pick them up from what others have said about us by the way others have treated us or by the

[00:05:16] messages from our society or culture and then we carry them around as if they were true when we're carrying these burdens they're getting in the way of us being aligned with the truth about ourselves engaging with others from our truth and expressing ourselves authentically we want to help the Exiles so they're no longer stuck in the past anything that feels unresolved from our past we want to help experience resolution we help our exiled Parts move through time so they can experience a resolution with the past our goal is to help heal and unburden the Exiles because when we do that the protector Parts can relax and we we have greater and greater access to our core self common burdens that Exiles carry include feeling physical pain emotional pain loss abandoned rejected unlovable alone

[00:06:18] defected wrong evil corrupt worthless powerless unsafe hopeless Terror ashamed void nothing no identity insignificant helpless deprived violated harmed and guilt these burdens can come from not getting essential emotional needs met I call these emotional needs essential nutrients because they're essential to our development to accessing our core self and embodying our power they're just as essential as being fed healthy food so that our bodies can develop with proper nutrients and be strong and healthy so that we can enjoy being in our body and doing the things that we want to in our lives when we're younger we depend on our parents to receive these essential

[00:07:20] nutrients what's incredible is that even when our emotional needs weren't met by our parents we generally had a sense of how important these essential nutrients are and the need to experience them for example a child that had parents that were distracted self-absorbed or addicted will feel the need and want for their parents attention and if they receive that attention then they would feel worthy of attention they'd feel loved and a sense of belonging but when the child doesn't get attention from their parents then they might start to internalize burdens such as feeling and believing they're unworthy unlovable insignificant and all alone the following are some of the emotional nutrients that all children need to experience acceptance trust safety connection curiosity

[00:08:22] compassion confidence courage presence respect validation understanding being witnessed being seen and heard affection protection supporting their inate resilience modeling healthy boundaries reflecting to them the truth about themselves assistance in regulating their bodies and being attuned to their needs are there any that you would add to the list how would you feel if you received all of these essential nutrients growing up when we don't receive these essential nutrients parts of ourselves can become burdened and stuck in the pain of not receiving them and because these needs are essential they're not just extra they are essential as adults we may start to look

[00:09:25] for others to meet our emotional needs you can think about it as a young exiled part that jumps in the driver's seat and starts driving you around to try to get their needs met by someone else this can be destructive to our relationships when we have a young needy part trying to get others to care for it growing up we did need our parents to meet our emotional needs it was wise to look to our parents for this we were dependent on them and we know that if we got these needs met it would be extremely beneficial to us accessing and living from our core self knowing and bringing our gifts into the world and experiencing our greatest potential however at some point in our young adult years we need to acknowledge that our parents weren't able to meet our needs as well as grieve that we didn't get our needs met at this point it's important that we learn to care for these exiled Parts by taking on the role of the parent and give them the

[00:10:27] essential nutrients from our core self when we know how to do this we embody our power when we are an adult looking for others to take care of our young exiled parts and the pain that they carry for not having those needs met then we're no longer engaging with others from our core self we're being driven around by a young hurt part and this doesn't farewell for creating healthy relationships I'm not saying that we become so independent in taking care of ourselves that we don't want or need others we do want and need people who can show up for us in ways that feel loving and emotionally supportive however what I am saying is that we're Shifting the dynamic so that we're interacting with people from our core self not a young needy part so if we have a young needy part that gets triggered it's our job to take care of that part so we can engage with others from our core self this builds internal relationships between our core self and

[00:11:30] our exiled parts and as a result helps heal and build healthy attachment within ourselves which then has a positive impact on our relationships with others are you aware of when this young Exile jumps in the driver's seat and tries to get its needs met by others an example could be having a part that feels lonely jump into the driver's seat maybe that might lead to overriding our boundaries or another person's boundaries to try to get a need of feeling connected maybe we call some people hop on the internet social media or chat groups we might connect with someone who doesn't treat us well because a part of us is lonely maybe we ignore someone else's boundaries around connecting and keep talking even though they said they needed to go there are lots of things we might do when a part is feeling lonely some healthy and some not however what the part needs most most from your core self is for you to not be afraid to sit with

[00:12:33] it when it's feeling lonely to feel what it's feeling and let the feelings move through you to be present and give it your attention help it feel seen and heard for its feelings around being lonely and then give it corrective experiences from your core self meaning what did it need that it never got when it was growing up and feeling lonely or what do does it need presently when this part is feeling lonely so you can ask this part what do you need or want real or imaginary when you're feeling lonely and see if you can give this new experience to the part in a visualization while staying connected to your body to see how your body responds to the visualization also it's important to mention that by being present with the part and not being afraid to be with its feelings is often a corrective experience in and of itself we can also look at exiled parts from a shamanic perspective an exiled part is liken to what Shaman call Soul

[00:13:37] loss and when there's Soul loss the remedy is soul retrieval I really enjoyed having a few personal conversations with dick Schwarz about the shamanic nature of his internal family systems model and understanding how people can be guided to do their own healing instead of a shaman doing it on their behalf from a shamanic perspective Soul retrieval is a healing practice that involves recovering and reintegrating lost or fragmented aspects of a person's soul shamans believe that traumatic or distressing experiences can cause a person's soul to fragment or become disconnected leading to emotional and spiritual imbalances Soul retrieval is performed to restore wholeness health and balance to the individual here's a general overview of the Soul retrieval process from a shamanic perspective diagnosis the shaman who is typically an experienced practitioner with a deep connection to the spiritual world begins by diagnosing the client's condition the

[00:14:42] following are common symptoms that can indicate Soul loss according to a shaman and similarly indicate the presence of an exiled part emotional and psychological imbalances Soul loss can manifest as persistent emotional and psychological challenges such as depression anxiety chronic fear feelings of emptiness or a sense of being stuck in life the individuals may struggle to experience Joy or feel a profound disconnection from their emotions chronic illness or physical ailments some shamanic Traditions believe that Soul loss can contribute to physical illness or chronic health problems these ailments may have no Clear Medical explanation and may resist conventional treatment feeling incomplete or fragmented individuals suffering from Soul loss May describe a feeling of being incomplete or as if a part of them is missing they may feel like they're

[00:15:45] not fully present in their own lives recurrent nightmares or night terrors could be interpreted as signs of Soul loss addictions and self-destructive Behavior people who have experienced Soul loss may turn to substance abuse or engage in self-destructive Behavior as a way to cope with their emotional pain or a sense of emptiness difficulty in forming relationships Soul loss can affect one's ability to form and maintain healthy relationships the individual May struggle with trust issues fear of Abandonment and difficulty connecting with others on a deep emotional level feeling disconnected from one's purpose a person suffering from Soul loss may feel a drift in life lacking a sense of purpose or a Direction they may struggle to find meaning in their experiences memory gaps some individuals may experience memory gaps or Amnesia related to traumatic events or periods

[00:16:47] in their life these gaps could be seen as indications of Soul loss chronic fatigue or lack of Vitality a person with soul loss may experience persistent istant fatigue and a lack of Vitality as if their life force or energy has been drained a shaman may use various shamanic techniques such as journeying divination or intuitive insights to identify the presence of Soul loss or fragmentation after diagnosis the shaman May Journey on behalf of their client the shaman enters into an altered state of consciousness often facilitated by drumming chanting or other rituals to journey into the spiritual Realms or otherwise known as the Unseen World or non-ordinary reality during these Journeys the shaman seeks to connect with the client's lost soul Parts retrieval in the spiritual Realms the shaman locates and communicates with the fragmented Soul Parts which may be

[00:17:51] represented as symbols animals or other forms the shaman works with these Soul parts to assist them in returning to the client reintegration once the fragmented Soul parts are retrieved the shaman helps the client reintegrate them into their being this can involve rituals ceremonies or energy work to ensure the integration healing soul retrieval is believed to bring about profound healing on mental emotional physical and spiritual levels clients often experience a sense of vitality and increased well-being after the process it's important to note that Soul retrieval is a deeply spiritual and shamanic practice and its approach Effectiveness and interpretation may vary among different shamanic traditions and practitioners and so it's wise to be prudent when choosing a shamanic practitioner to work with dick Schwarz has introduced another way to go about

[00:18:53] Soul loss and soul retrieval where the client can do this process on their own own by using their core self after studying with two shamans an American trained in essential Shamanism and an indigenous African Shaman named Malad Patrice Som I think guiding a client to do their own soul retrieval has many benefits including it's empowering to the individual to participate in the process and learn how to do this for themselves it can be more meaningful when the client is an active participant it's embodied as the client is aware and connected to what's happening in their body during the process it builds trust within oneself the client's Parts can trust and experience the power of the core self versus handing power over to someone else and needing an outside practitioner to do this for them it's more universal meaning guiding someone to work with an exiled part is

[00:19:56] something that more people can relate to and connect with so it has the potential to help a lot more people as it doesn't isolate people due to their beliefs for me in my work I like using language and methods that many people can relate to it demystifies the process and helps people feel more connected to their healing process when the client has more experiential knowledge of the process it can lead to Greater trust in the healing that occurred having said all of that there are times when someone doesn't feel able to do the process on their own and that working with a shaman can be very beneficial let's say it's a child or someone who's ill in these situations having a shaman work on their behalf can be a great option now let's walk through the step-by-step process of retrieving and unburdening an exiled part we explored how to work with protectors in episode six Protectors of your psyche so once the The Protector has been witnessed and

[00:20:59] feels that you understand its intention to help or protect you ask the protector if it would be willing to show you the part that it's protecting which is the exiled part if it's not ready to then it's important to respect that if the protector part shows you the exiled part that it's been protecting then connect with the Exile from your core self you can do this by getting an image of the exhaled part and then pausing it Exiles are often young parts so if it works for you it might be helpful to see this part as a younger version of yourself at whatever age comes to mind now ask yourself who are you in this present moment when you separate from the part what are you aware of how do things look or feel different find the place within you that isn't afraid of the Exiles pain now bring this energy to the Exile and before saying anything see what it's

[00:22:01] like for the exile to be around you to be in your presence then ask if the Exile can feel your presence and what it's like for it to connect with you invite the exiled part to share with you anything it wants you to know about around what it's been through the pain it feels or the burdens it carries be sure to really listen and let this part know that you're present with it because this part has had to hold the pain alone for so long it needs to be witnessed and acknowledg for what it's been through to help it heal and be unburdened from the past take your time there's no rush you can even let this part know there's no rush continue to ask this part if there's anything else it would like to show you or share with you about what it's been through how would you respond from your core self or from your heart perhaps as you would respond to a small child who's

[00:23:06] been in pain pause each time you respond to the part to see if the part is able to take in what you're saying what's great about the parts of your psyche is that they will give you feedback they'll let you know if what you're saying is or isn't helpful for example most often if you respond to an exile part with a simple it's all going to be okay the part has a hard time feeling better with that so if you get the sense that what you're saying or doing isn't helpful to the Exile check and see if another part jumped in and took over and come back to your core self and try responding again it can be a process of trial and error to see what really works and helps the Exile see if the exiled part can feel your presence and compass passion for it see if it's wanting or needing anything from you real or imaginary take note if there's anything that the part needed or wanted to happen

[00:24:10] that it didn't get to experience in the past often the part is stuck in the past because it didn't get needs met that would have helped it feel a sense of resolution with whatever it experienced for example if a child was hurt it may have easily felt a sense of resolution if there was a loving and present adult to help it through that experience help this part experience new corrective experiences with you see if you can get a sense of what this part needed to heal and imagine your core self giving that to the part and then see if this part can take that new experience in by observing if it feels any different we always want to check in with our body and what the Exile is feeling to check that what is happening between you and the Exile isn't just a mental exercise but is something that the body can feel the body always gives us feedback on whether it's integrating and experience or not if you're not feeling anything in your body during

[00:25:13] this process then you may need to pause and identify why there may be a part that is disconnecting you from feeling anything in your body keep an eye out for parts that want to avoid the exile's pain it's really important that the Exile knows that you're not afraid of any of its pain and there are many protective parts that have an agenda to keep you from experiencing that pain there are ways to titrate the pain to make sure it's manageable we always want to work within a range of manageability you can ask the part to not overwhelm you you can ask the part to show you one thing at a time you can pause the part so that you can take time to be present with your feelings and Sensations in your body to let them move through to completion before you return you can ask the part to show you a percentage of the pain maybe 1 5 10 50% you don't have to feel 100% of the pain to

[00:26:15] heal healing is about integrating The Experience so we want to work with what's manageable you can also let the Exile know that you want to know how bad it was for it to go through through whatever it experienced by doing this you're communicating to the Exile that you're not afraid of the pain and it doesn't need to minimize anything ask the Exile if it feels like you really get it and see and wait for that response when the exiled part is done sharing ask it if you could take it out of the past where it's been stuck when you retrieve this part from the past you can let it know it can choose where it would want to be instead perhaps with you in the present a favorite place at some point in your life or some fantasy place show this part around this environment give it a tour and see how it's responding next you can ask this part if it's ready to unburden the pain it's been carrying when the part is ready find a

[00:27:18] sacred place to help it unburden what it's been carrying for so many years this might be a place in nature or it can be an imaginary place call in any supportive people this can also be people who are no longer living it can be animals beings and plants to facilitate the unburdening check in to see what feels supportive ask this part if it's ready to let go of any burdens which can be in the form of any type of pain thoughts beliefs about themselves messages they received feelings Sensations or memories that it's been carrying in or around its body we want to help it unburden what's not theirs see if the part can locate where they've been carrying the burden in or around their body if they can't locate a particular place that's okay ask the part if it would like to give these burdens up to the elements earth air fire water light or anything else to transform them ask the element

[00:28:21] if it's willing to take it and transform it for you the part doesn't have to be concerned with how the bir gets transformed they just ask the element to do this on their behalf why do we unburden to the elements well from the quantum physics perspective everything has energy and we don't want to have piles of burdens all around so we ask the elements which are massive to take that energy and transform it you can let the Exile know that they don't have to unburden everything at once they can do the unburdening as many times as they need to notice how this part is feeling as it unburdens take some time to be with this part after the unburdening check in with how you're feeling in your body notice how the part's body is feeling what's it like to see the part now that it's unburdened How does its body look and how does it move now once the part is done unburdening you can ask if there's anything they

[00:29:24] would like to retrieve or call back into them that was missing or pushed out as a result of the burden this is a time for the part to come into alignment with the truth about itself to update the old programs burdens can take up space and push things out that are innate and true for us again take some time to see how this part is feeling now that it retrieves what's theirs or what's true for them how does it feel in their body to reclaim this how is it for you to witness this now you've helped this part feel a sense of resolution with the past and unburden anything it's been carrying around that isn't true or has been causing suffering you've helped heal the Exile now that it's unburdened it can choose what it would like to do many Exiles are excited to let their natural creativity playfulness truth their skills and Gifts come through and be expressed

[00:30:25] freely once the burdening and retrieving is complete for the Exile you can check in with the protective part that was locking this Exile away to see if it was able to witness the unburdening of the exiled part get curious how this is impacting The Protector part how is the protector part feeling now you can also see if there's anything The Protector would like to unburden the protector may want to take on a new role now sometimes the core self and the protector come up with a new role or job description together sometimes the protectors just want a vacation because they've seriously been working hard for a really long time check in with yourself and see how your body is feeling now and how does it feel to help these parts thank the parts and see if there's anything else they need real or imaginary before you wrap up with them congratulations on completing the unburdening process you've helped exiled parts of

[00:31:28] yourself that have been disconnected and suffering to come back into connection with your core self which is what the Exile wants most as it's able to be nourished by your core self our core self is a unique expression of source and connecting with source is essential nourishment for us our core self then nourishes the parts of our psyche the protectors and Exiles we embody our power when we retrieve and heal our exil parts and feel connected and integrated instead of fragmented whenever we are cut off from the source that nourishes us we want to look for ways to come back into connection at the end of this episode here are a few things to try identify your exiled Parts explore taking the steps I outlined to help heal and unburden the exiled parts and then notice how you feel in your body as a result find the place inside of you that can be with the exile's pain without being

[00:32:31] afraid of it or having to fix it or make it go away there is a place inside of you that can be with this pain from a place that's openhearted and present notice how you feel in your body as a result of this healing process thanks for listening to this podcast if you found this episode helpful please consider assisting me in reaching more people by sharing it with others or writing a review together let's raise our Consciousness to help evolve Humanity for more information please visit my website danielc caron.com that's d n i e l l e c a r r o n.com [Music]
