# Embody Your Power Podcast - Episode 5 Mapping The Psyche
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[00:00:02] hi I'm Danielle Karen and in this podcast I'm going to share with you knowledge and tools that I believe should be accessible to everyone their fundamental and essential to Being Human embody your power is an integrative model that Bridges science spirituality and ancient wisdom to give you the resources needed to live your fullest potential as a psychotherapist for over 16 years and now as a coach I help people know reclaim and embody their power on all levels it's my mission to help you connect to your unshakable resilience to know true power and freedom to be Sovereign and to remember your divine nature if you're wanting to learn tools to release layers of conditioning heal from trauma feel at home in your body have inner peace expand your capacity for Joy connect spiritually and take a journey

[00:01:07] with me to embody your power then this podcast is for you thank you for joining me together let's raise our Consciousness to help evolve Humanity in this episode I'll teach you how to map your psyche and make the elusive mind tangible for greater mental power have you ever felt overwhelmed by intense feelings emotions flashbacks or nightmares do you experience anxiety depression anger addiction avoidance or perfectionism the mind is such an elusive thing right we can't see it or locate it it's hard to discern where our thoughts are coming from are we thinking our own thoughts or something we were taught or exposed to some thoughts can bring us peace and joy While others bring stress anxiety and

[00:02:10] pain our thoughts can take us for a ride and we can feel completely powerless when you take the mind which feels so Elusive and make it tangible it's a game changer in your ability to work with the mind and direct it in a way that supports your health and well-being you have more control of your thoughts and can create the changes and life you desire I draw upon Richard Schwartz's internal family systems model to map the psyche I train directly with Richard Schwartz and have had the opportunity to have personal conversations with him from his perspective multiplicity is the natural state of the Mind meaning we naturally have many parts of our mind that have different feelings thoughts agendas and desires trauma neglect and unmet emotional needs can take the natural parts of our mind out of their naturally valuable State and force them into extreme roles

[00:03:14] have you seen the movie Inside Out Richard Schwartz was consulted for the production of this movie this is a kids movie that depicts different parts of the mind that have access to a control panel or a circuit board in the brain the various parts use the hardware of the brain to flip switches which results in the main character having different feelings and emotions in the movie the parts are called Joy sadness fear anger and disgust those are just a few of many parts that can really impact us I'm going to guide you to know how to work with your own mind the image of the characters from this movie can be helpful to keep in mind if you have a piece of paper in front of you you can follow along and learn a simple way to map your psyche in the middle of the page I start by drawing a sun this represents your core

[00:04:16] self which is your true self your highest self your essence your Consciousness your awareness your spirit it is whole and always connected to your true nature your spiritual nature your core self is not a part it is what you experience when all of your parts are quiet and giving you some space when you're accessing your core self you feel most like yourself your core self is innately resilient you don't have to build it up or make it stronger it's more a matter of how much access we have to it as we explored in episode 2 resilient by Divine Design and we can all have varying degrees of access to it when we are accessing the state we're present inherently regulated feeling at home in our body and aligned with our truth I believe there's a huge spiritual component to our core self that we can spend our lifetime our lifetimes getting to know how powerful and expansive we

[00:05:21] really are I draw the core self as the sun because it's always shining and available your core self can be with your part's worst fear and greatest pain which is generally emotional pain your core self is inherently whole it can't be damaged or destroyed all the parts want this aspect of you to be more present they want to be able to trust the core self and feel its support your core self doesn't have an agenda so it's not going to jump in and take over to rescue you from your anxiety or loneliness it's available for you when you know how and want to connect with it it can have desires for you but it's not attached to those desires that's interesting right why would the Core Essence of you not have an agenda maybe because it's unconditionally loving and accepting and knows that ultimately everything is okay maybe it's connected to a much bigger understanding of this world

[00:06:23] this reality and this life the core self does hold a much bigger perspective than the parts do maybe it holds a perspective that we can't wrap our minds around and therefore doesn't feel a need to have an agenda an analogy for the core self's relationship to the parts is imagining that a child is really upset because they got in a fight with their friend the parent can see the child going through this experience from a bigger perspective it can have compassion for their child and understand why the child is upset but the parent also knows that this isn't the end of the world and their child's going to be okay and most likely we'll be having fun with their friend again soon but for the child like our parts has tunnel vision and they can't think of anything other than the pain they feel about the fight with their friend right now they're consumed with the pain in the moment and they're not able to step back and have perspective on it

[00:07:26] the child is like your parts and the parent is like your core self your core self will always be able to have a bigger perspective on any situation and when the parent can hold a bigger perspective and is regulated in their body it's generally very calming for the child however if the parent also started to feel the pain of the child and get caught up in the smaller perspective of the situation the parent wouldn't be able to provide the child with comfort and support they'll most likely increase the child's anxiety and distress the core self offers significant comfort and relief to our parts when we know how to access our core self and connect to our parts from that place so let's take a look at the parts that actually get in the way of us accessing our core self there are two main parts one is called a protector and the other is called an exile protectors are also called our defenses coping mechanisms ego and resistance

[00:08:33] these parts I draw as clouds because when they're present they're clouding out our sun our core soft examples of these parts include anger aggression avoidance depression dissociation anxiety control manipulation jealousy guilt people pleasing narcissism perfectionism intellectualizing and parts that use substances food shopping and the internet there are many different protector parts that it's hard to list them all the protector's job is to anticipate react to or manage real or perceive Danger they are focused on self-preservation Survival our body and the environment their main emotion is fear they're afraid that if they didn't do their job

[00:09:35] then you would get hurt in some way what's important to know about the protector Parts is that they always have a positive intention to help you or protect you despite the way that they're going about it for example an anxious part has the positive intention to protect you when it says if I don't make you anxious then I'm afraid you'll get caught off guard and get hurt however the way the protector Parts go about trying to protect you from getting hurt is generally not helpful as it's causing other challenges in our lives like with an anxious part taking you out of the present moment and overly focusing on all the worst case scenarios that can happen the protectors try to protect you from being overwhelmed by pain and vulnerability and from ever getting hurt again they do have a never again mentality never again will you get hurt like that so for example if you were in a car accident

[00:10:36] you may notice the following protectors after that event a part that's anxious or hyper Vigilant about being in a car a part that avoids driving a part that has road rage a backseat driver part that is active when others are driving a part that never wants to look to the right when driving because they got hit from that side in the past therefore hindering you with a blind spot protector Parts have a limited view whereas the core self holds a much bigger perspective protector parts are often stuck in the past and so they're often not seeing things accurately as they are in the present moment for example a protector part is going to tell you someone is a threat because they look like someone who was a threat in the past they're also not always Discerning what is true in the present moment which is a person that looks like someone who hurt us in the past but isn't that person protectors are burdened with a role to

[00:11:41] protect the system by System I mean your whole inner psyche they've moved out of their natural state to take on a role of protection one way to understand this is to think of a child who feels they can no longer be a child because their parents aren't taking care of things maybe they're alcoholics abusive not protective or absent so the child becomes burdened with adult tasks and responsibilities the child has moved out of their natural state to try to protect themselves because it doesn't feel safe to be a child and play and trust their parents all protectors have an agenda to help or protect that's how you can tell the difference between the protector Parts the core self and exiled parts the core self and the exiled Parts don't have an agenda the exiled parts are just experiencing pain often emotional pain and vulnerability Exiles are often referred to as our inner child wounded child suppressed or

[00:12:45] repressed parts they're called Exiles because they're locked away or exiled by The Protector parts they can be experienced as dissociated or fragmented parts they can be experiences and memories that you can't remember because they are exiled and locked away the main emotion of the Exile part is pain often emotional pain for example feeling rejected abandoned alone unlovable wrong unworthy unsafe ashamed insignificant or hopeless I draw the Exiles as a little stick figure in a circle or bubble they're in a bubble because they're stuck in time so I draw the sun in the middle of the page to represent your core self then I draw clouds around the Sun to represent the protectors and on the outer edges of the page I draw the circles with the little stick figures to represent the Exiles the exile's role is to try to get your

[00:13:48] attention so that they can heal they're stuck in time reliving pain trauma and vulnerability they know that they can't subtly get your attention or the protectors will quickly lock them away again so they'll come through with intense feelings flashbacks nightmares or even bodily illness or disease hopefully this helps you understand why parts of you will flood you with these intense experiences the wisdom in this is if they can get your attention they have a chance to heal and no longer be stuck in the past reliving pain or trauma Exiles can carry burdens which can be understood as beliefs and messages that are not true about ourselves but we pick them up from what others have said about us or by the way others have treated us or by messages from our society or culture and then we carry them around as if they were true

[00:14:51] common burdens that the Exiles carry include I'm unlovable I'm alone I'm a failure I'm not worthy I'm not enough I'm a burden to others when we are carrying these burdens they're getting in the way of us being and expressing our authentic self and being aligned with the truth about ourselves we want to help the Exiles so that they're no longer stuck in the past we help them move through time so that they can experience a resolution with the past our goal is to help heal and unburden the Exiles because when we do that the protector Parts can relax more and we have more access to our core self how can you tell the difference between protectors and exiles protectors have an agenda and they're attached to it all protectors hold fear they're afraid

[00:15:53] something bad might happen to you if they weren't doing this thing that they do for example a protector might say I'm afraid if I didn't make you depressed you might have the energy to go out and do something and fail and feel the pain of failure Exiles hold the feelings of pain and vulnerability memories and traumas Exiles hold pure pain mostly emotional pain they can also hold fear and Terror but it's not related to an agenda like the protectors it's a fear or Terror that they initially experienced in a scary event Exiles aren't trying to do something other than get your attention so that they can heal the core self isn't attached to any agenda that's how you can tell the difference between the protectors and your core self the course off isn't operating from fear or pain so that's how you know that it's not a protector or an exiled part when we don't take the time to get to

[00:16:56] know the parts we can easily fall into a place of judging and criticizing them like the scientists who study DNA they've identified two strands and saw that there were more strands but because they haven't figured out what the other strands do they labeled them as junk DNA nothing inside of you is junk scientists just haven't figured out how vast and incredible the human being is yet you are a wise and intelligent being Your Parts can be experienced in any number of ways thoughts feelings Sensations images inner voices they can show up as physical symptoms behaviors reactions illness and remember like the movie Inside Out they can flip switches and cause you to feel different things for example they can flip a switch to make you feel foggy Spacey tired or distracted especially if they don't want you to access something else in your psyche our internal dialogue is often happening

[00:17:59] between two or more protectors or between a protector and exile for example I have a part that is anxious and then I have a part that is critical of the anxious part so they're in a dialogue that might sound like stop making her anxious you're not helping and the other part says the anxious part says I can't stop being anxious because I'm afraid she'll get hurt in this kind of dynamic between the parts is what is driving an internal War inside of us what we want instead is to shift the internal dialogue to come from the core self toward each part when the dialogue is coming from the core resilient itself it sounds more open calm curious compassionate understanding and confident also when we're communicating with our parts from our core self it feels as if we're working together as a team and there's more internal peace and harmony when we do this we can help heal our

[00:19:01] parts and we have more access to our innate resilience after seeing the profound impact of helping clients work with their parts from the core self became very clear how clients pain can be perpetuated if they aren't accessing their core self many therapies don't help people discern between the core self and the parts perhaps they don't know about the course self and how competent and resilient it is so they may actually be strengthening the protectors and bringing the client further away from their Core Essence their core self let's say a client has a protector part that is addicted to alcohol maybe this protector part is using alcohol to numb themselves from some type of emotional pain they experienced from a past trauma that was never resolved many therapies will help the client strengthen other protectors to keep the one who uses alcohol from acting out so maybe they strengthen the part that

[00:20:04] hates the addicted part or the part that will criticize that part A goal-setting Part a part that will use food instead of alcohol or part that tries to motivate the person to be sober by shaming the alcohol part can you see that working in this way not only do you have more protective parts and less access to your core self you now are creating an internal war to fight or contain a part of you this process takes the client further away from who they truly are and contributes to them feeling less like themselves the goal is to have more access to our core self if I were to make a suggestion to the AAA Community I would shift away from saying hello my name is Bill and I'm an addict to hello my name is Bill and I have a part of me that is an addict you don't want to identify as your parts if you struggle from anxiety for example instead of saying I'm anxious you can shift to saying I have an anxious part by Shifting the language you leave much more room for your core self to be

[00:21:08] present many therapies unfortunately don't know or emphasize that the client is inherently resilient we are all inherently resilient as a therapist or coach if you're resourcing someone away from their Pain by bringing their attention to something else generally something more calming or Pleasant that can be very helpful however resourcing clients away from their pain without the knowledge and ultimate goal of connecting them to their ability to be with the pain from their core self is detrimental a message can be sent to the client that they're not capable of being with their pain or that the therapist or coach doesn't trust their inherent resilience to be with the pain these types of messages validate the protector's fears that the client can't handle the pain and that they need to take over leading to the protectors becoming stronger if you're having a particular challenge in your life let's say with a relationship with food with drugs with work it can be anything you can sit down

[00:22:12] and make a map to understand all the parts that might be activated in this situation or challenge for example if someone struggles with using food to regulate their emotions we can map that out you're going to start with drawing the core self in the middle of the piece of paper as the sun then start brainstorming and draw out all the protector clouds around the Sun the following are examples of protectors that may be related to this issue the part that is using food to avoid emotional pain or loneliness the part that wants to eat well and not overeat the part that doesn't want to eat well or have a limited diet and wants to be able to eat anything like everyone else the part that is all or nothing it will either eat well or it lets go and eats uncontrollably the part that doesn't like your body the part that wants to distract you by using food the inner critic part that judges you for eating too much

[00:23:17] the part that is secretive with eating and indulging another part might be the part that is trying to manage feeling overwhelmed in your body if you start getting to know your protector Parts you'll eventually find the exiled parts that these parts these protectors are trying to keep locked away so that you don't have to feel their pain the following Exiles are examples of what might be under the protective parts in Exile with a burden of not feeling good enough in Exile with a burden of being told she's too heavy or fat in Exile carrying the pain of being present in their body in Exile carrying the pain of feeling rejected or abandoned shame and unworthy at the end of this episode I'd like to offer some exercises for you to try

[00:24:22] map your psyche by writing and drawing out the parts if you're someone who journals see if you can start to identify these parts when you're journaling which part of you is present and speaking right now notice if your inner dialogue is between two parts name and identify your parts if you meditate see if you can notice which parts are present and when your core self is present shift away from identifying with your parts if you're feeling anxious you can say I have an anxious part instead of I'm anxious if you're feeling angry you can say I have a part of me that's angry instead of saying I'm angry finally to access your course self ask yourself who am I in this present moment when I separate from all of my parts [Music] listening to this podcast if you found this episode helpful please consider

[00:25:26] assisting me in reaching more people by sharing it with others or writing a review together let's raise our Consciousness to help evolve Humanity for more information please visit my website daniellecarron.com that's d-a-n-i-e-l-l-e-c-a-r-r-o-n.com [Music] foreign
