# Embody Your Power Podcast - Episode 2 Resilient By Divine Design
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[00:00:02] hi I'm Danielle Karen and in this podcast I'm going to share with you knowledge and tools that I believe should be accessible to everyone their fundamental and essential to Being Human embody your power is an integrative model that Bridges science spirituality and ancient wisdom to give you the resources needed to live your fullest potential as a psychotherapist for over 16 years and now as a coach I help people know reclaim and embody their power on all levels it's my mission to help you connect to your unshakable resilience to know true power and freedom to be Sovereign and to remember your divine nature if you're wanting to learn tools to release layers of conditioning heal from trauma feel at home in your body have inner peace expand your capacity for Joy connect spiritually and take a journey

[00:01:07] with me to embody your power then this podcast is for you thank you for joining me together let's raise our Consciousness to help evolve Humanity [Music] in this episode I'm going to show you how to access your unshakable resilience did you know there's a place in you that can be with your greatest fear and your worst pain every day how people access the cyanate state of unshakable resilience how would your life be different if you weren't afraid of your own emotional pain let's take a minute and think about that emotional pain is at the root of what drives people let me repeat that again emotional pain is at the root of what drives all of us our psychological processes defenses our

[00:02:13] behaviors our coping strategies our fears and our mindset we all have parts of ourselves that will do anything to avoid feeling bad alone unlovable unworthy ashamed rejected vulnerable and like a failure so I ask you what if you knew and felt confident that you could be with any emotional pain my answer to that would be wow that would be incredibly empowering and I would feel resilient in the face of any life challenge I'm someone who likes to get to the root of things and I believe this is one of those areas where if we can figure this out it would make a huge difference in our lives through my work I've seen the impact in people's lives when they know and experience this unshakable resilience Within I help people connect to it every day

[00:03:15] and it's truly a passion of mine it's the most rewarding work to help people know and experience this innate power that they didn't know that they had what is resilience my definition of resilience it's not something that needs to be built up or made stronger it's already wired in it's a matter of how much access you have to it and everyone has different degrees of access to their resilience resilience is your ability to be open-hearted and present with any pain fear or vulnerability it's not about trying to fix it or make it go away resilience is true power and freedom it's not about pushing through controlling judging or avoiding anything resilience is not about going to war with ourselves or others it is about empathy compassion understanding and acceptance resilience is remembering your

[00:04:19] connection to Source God the Divine the Creator the universe or whatever word you use for that presence and that you are a unique expression of it resilience is an innate state that is fearless our resilience lives within our core self it's our Core Essence our core self is inherently resilient it's present and regulated and it's Fearless let's deepen our exploration of resilience by looking at it through the following lenses mental emotional physical physiological relational and spiritual mentally we're resilient when we're connected to our core self and in the present moment so we're not thinking or feeling things that are related to the past or future our mind is made up of many parts so it's helpful when we can think of ourselves in terms of different parts meaning you would say I have a part of me that's anxious instead of saying I'm

[00:05:23] anxious another example would be saying I have a part of me that's angry with you instead of saying I'm angry at you can you hear and feel the difference when we separate from our parts then we don't lose touch with our core self and that makes a huge difference in how we relate to ourselves and others when we know how to work with our parts that are burdened by pain and fear we are mentally resilient for example anxiety depression people pleasing perfectionism and the very common inner critic are common parts and they are driven by fear these parts are taking us over we aren't accessing our resilience when we can separate from these parts then we can access our resilience and be in a position to help these parts we're resilient when we're connected to the truth about ourselves as I discussed in episode one when we know that we are worthy of love acceptance belonging safety

[00:06:28] when we're accessing our resilience we're not operating from Fear instead we're connected to our hearts and operating from Courage there's no need to push through control judge or avoid anything the core resilient self is whole and intact it knows its true nature innate power and unshakable resilience it's able to take risks and handle any outcome emotionally we're resilient when we learn to be with any emotion without trying to fix it or run away from it most people haven't been taught how to do this and so they develop many psychological defenses and coping strategies to try to avoid the pain at all costs and when those defenses are present they get in the way of us accessing our core self and push us further away from our resilience emotional resilience is when we can experience the whole spectrum of

[00:07:29] emotions from the painful and difficult ones to experiencing great joy expansion and pleasure physically and physiologically we're accessing our resilience when we're inherently regulated and feeling at home in our body regulated means that our internal States feel manageable we're not anxious stressed overwhelmed depressed dissociated or exhausted we're in touch with our body and the sensations present to catch the signs that were starting to become overwhelmed and we have the skills to come back into regulation we help our parts regulate when we're accessing our resilience when we're accessing our core resilient self we genuinely experience feeling calm peaceful and Light some people experience a pleasant tingling sensation and others at grounding or settled feeling when we're present and embodying our

[00:08:33] core self we're in the best position to respond to any type of threat or unexpected event relationally when we're connected to our core self and experiencing our resilience we have an empowered relationship with ourself and others we can be our most authentic self in relationships we can be present and open-hearted with others we're not afraid to be vulnerable and open to the risk of really loving someone else heartbreak is an emotional pain that is probably one of the most intense pains we all have parts that are trying to avoid experiencing this however when you're accessing your resilience you know that you can be with the pain even though it's grueling and it can bring you to your knees there is a way to feel resilient in the face of the most intense pain when someone is in their core self they radiate in energy that is attractive and the core self energy is generally what we fall in love with when we start a

[00:09:37] relationship when I work with people regarding relationship challenges I'm often looking at what parts of them are engaging with the other person's parts instead of relating from their core self to the other's core self this can cause a lot of pain and conflict because our parts are driven by pain and fear we really desire to relate to ourselves and others from our core self I'll share with you how I help people do that in this podcast I believe the world would benefit tremendously from more people accessing their innate unshakable resilience spiritually resilience is already wired in it is part of the Divine Design it's not something that needs to be built up or made stronger it's a matter of how much access you have to it and everyone has varying degrees of access resilience is feeling connected spiritually and remembering your True Divine Nature

[00:10:38] the aspects of our core self and resilience are similar to aspects of source God the Divine whatever word you use for that so when we feel connected it's like plugging ourselves into an even greater source of resilience presence awareness love and fearlessness our core self gets nurtured by this connection how do we access our resilience here are a few ways anything that helps you be in the present moment some examples might be yoga meditation any kind of mindful activity doing a body scan to see what Sensations are present in your body slowing down and noticing what's around you bringing your attention to what you can experience with all of your senses using your eyes to orient you to where you are in space often when we're in the present moment

[00:11:40] it dissolves the stress anxiety and fear we notice that everything is okay in this moment most of our stress comes from being in the past or in the future what helps you feel present being in nature can help us connect to our own true nature when you look around at the natural world you can see that I Nate resilience in everything connecting spiritually can remind us of our spiritual nature and how we're a part of something much bigger we can access our resilience when we can see our lives from a bigger perspective we can see things differently from our parts as they're generally operating for more of a tunnel vision a narrow vision connecting spiritually can remind us of our spiritual nature and how we're part of something much bigger we can access our resilience when we can see our lives from a bigger perspective we can see things differently from our

[00:12:43] parts as they're often operating from more of a narrow tunnel vision through meditation and prayer we can quiet our minds and bodies drop into the present moment and connect to source through mindfulness we can become more aware of our parts that might be taking over allowing us the opportunity to come back to being present and connecting to our core self when we're able to become aware and identify the parts of us that are operating from fear and pain then we can learn to separate from those parts when we can separate from those parts we have access to our core resilient self it's always there and always available it's our parts that get in the way of accessing it I've spoke a lot about Parts what do I mean by this we all have different parts of ourselves a simple example would be I have a part of me that wants to go out Friday night and I have a part of me that wants to stay home

[00:13:45] I have a part of me that is anxious and another part of me that's excited when it comes to that work project I have a part of me that's motivated to get it done and another part that wants to procrastinate and do something else thinking about ourselves and parts has its roots in many different therapeutic models and there's been many names for these parts the one that I like the most is called internal family systems which originated from Richard Schwartz in his model the main parts that we work with are called Protectors and Exiles and these are the parts that are getting in the way of us accessing our core self so let's explore them a little further we have parts of ourselves called Protectors that take on a job to avoid emotional pain psychologically we're wired that way it's how our psyche works examples of our protector Parts include anger aggression anxiety depression distraction escaping criticizing

[00:14:49] controlling intellectualizing people pleasing addiction and perfectionism these protector parts of ourselves do everything in their power to protect us from emotional pain and they operate from Fear that's their main emotion they're afraid that if they didn't try to keep us from the pain we would be overwhelmed by it and not be able to manage it if we don't actively work with these parts to live our lives from our resilience instead then we'll be driven around by pain and fear and that's the opposite of resilience if the protectors aren't successful at avoiding the pain then we're being consumed by the pain what does that look like feeling overwhelmed with sadness rejection shame heartbreak isolation or feeling unworthy unlovable bad or a burden to others

[00:15:53] if for any reason the protectors relax this can be a time when the Exiles flood us with emotional pain the Exiles are the parts that are carrying the emotional pain and they're called Exiles because we naturally want to lock those parts away or Exile them so let's draw these parts out so it can be more tangible to understand if you have a piece of paper nearby I encourage you to follow along your core resilient self is like the sun it's always shining it's always available so I draw the sun in the middle of a piece of paper now the part carrying the pain is called an exile because we try to lock that part away I draw this part as a little stick figure in a bubble it's in a bubble because it's stuck in time reliving pain trauma or vulnerability whenever we have an exile part then we have what's called a protector part The Protector part always has a positive intention to help you or protect you despite how it's going about that as it might actually not be helpful and

[00:16:59] it can even be destructive so we really want to discern between its intention and how it's actually showing up these parts are also known as coping mechanisms or defense strategies common protectors include anxiety hyper vigilance depression lack of motivation our inner critic or judge anger avoidance caretaking Eating Disorders addictions and staying stuck in our heads or intellectualizing these protector Parts I draw as clouds because when they're present they Cloud out the sun your core resilient self I usually draw the protector Cloud Parts between the Sun and the Exile because they're usually positioning themselves between the two and doing their best to keep the Exile locked away another analogy to help understand the various parts is thinking about your core self is the one we want in the

[00:18:02] driver's seat in your car driving the path of your life we all have protector Parts in the back seat and they're going to look through the windshield through the lens of the past meaning for example The Protector is going to tell you that someone is dangerous because they look like someone who hurt you in the past they're going to let you know if there's danger or any type of threat if they don't feel like you're listening or if they don't feel like they can trust you they're going to jump in the driver's seat and take the car off course the core resilient self is in the present moment and it can look at that person and know that it's someone different and therefore not an immediate threat the best way to describe the Exiles is that they're parts that are locked in the trunk they know that if they just try to subtly get your attention then those protector parts are just going to slam the door on their face so they need to come through with intensity intense feelings flashbacks

[00:19:05] nightmares bodily illness or disease the wisdom in this is if they can get your attention they have an opportunity to heal and no longer be stuck reliving the past I guide people to identify and separate from these parts because once we can do that what we're accessing is our core self in this innate unshakable resilience the core resilient self is always present right below the surface of the parts once someone's connected to their core self then we can work with these parts and heal them we have to get out of the world of the parts in order to help them I love Albert Einstein's quote he says we can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them this means we can't solve problems from being in our parts that are experiencing pain and fear

[00:20:09] we have to solve them from a different level a different awareness a different perspective the core self isn't operating from pain or fear it's present it's regulated it's connected to something bigger it's resilient and it's conscious this is very significant again we're not taught how to do this in many therapeutic modalities can perpetuate getting lost in the world of the parts instead of helping people to step out of it and connect to their resilience this is different than many types of talk therapy that attempt to help people solve their problems using the same kind of thinking that created them because they're not actually helping people identify which part of them is doing the talking at any moment the parts are operating from this limited narrow tunnel vision and they can't see the whole picture in order to help them we need to separate from them and access our core self which has a much bigger perspective

[00:21:13] and it's not a part in this process of working with the parts from the core self we build trust so that the parts can trust and relax more when we do that we have more access to our core self and thus our resilience many people reach out to me because they have Parts in the driver's seat that they don't know how to work with and they're being driven around by these parts which results in them not feeling like themselves why is reclaiming your resilience important your resilience is innate to you so if you're not able to access it and experience it you're living your life cut off from a major power or support that's built in the result of this is being run around by the parts of you that are carrying fear and pain and then you're not living from an empowered place the parts are also blocking you from expressing your authenticity what do you think happens to your health

[00:22:16] if you're mostly consumed by pain and fear what we do know is that pain fear cause stress and stress is the number one driver of disease and illness when you're being driven by your pain and fear you aren't in the best position to handle life's hardships or show up for others in your life some of the ways I help people reclaim their resilience include first I see this as something that exists innately in everyone whether or not they know about it or have experienced it it's my passion to help people connect to this innate state I use various methods to help people connect to the present moment we identify the parts that are getting in the way of accessing their core resilient self then we utilize various techniques to get the parts to step back part of the process is building trust between the parts and the core self it's important to note that the parts won't step back until they trust the

[00:23:20] core self for example if a part is afraid you're going to get hurt if it's not making you anxious then it would need to trust that the core self can handle things in order for it to relax I help people experience and feel their ability to be with a part's worst fear and their greatest pain we always do this within a range of what feels manageable as that's the way to integrate new experiences we can't do much when we're overwhelmed for example if I give you a sandwich and you try to eat it all in one bite your body's not going to be able to take that in it's going to reject it so what we want to do is take small bites of the sandwich so that you can chew it and digest it and integrate it and that's what we're going to do with the parts pain fears any emotions that they might have and through this process people get to know their own courage and confidence to face their fears rather than have their fears drive them around

[00:24:24] I support each person's unique connection spiritually by exploring what helps them feel connected to something bigger I also create personalized guided meditations to connect spiritually and to the quantum field resilience for me is more than withstanding something horrific or painful bouncing back after adversity or trauma or surviving a scarier life-threatening event resilience is not about surviving something resilience is an innate state to be Fearless with any of our feelings and experiences to help them heal and integrate it's not about eliciting parts of yourself to get through something it's not about eliciting any protector Parts resilience is your ability to be with any of your feelings that can come from any experience therefore resilience admits vulnerability resilience doesn't need to shy away from or avoid anything however if you weren't taught how to access your resilience you may resort to

[00:25:28] pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and being tough as a way to feel your power and strength after a trauma or adversity resilience is innate in my work I place a demand on resilience to come forward and it does it's a tremendous resource to tap into let's look at an example here let's say someone was walking across the street and was hit by a car by the way I've helped numerous clients heal from being hit by a car as a pedestrian someone who isn't connected to their resilience may spend time focusing on the other person's wrongdoing and the injustice they may get stuck in the victim mentality and therefore give their power away typically people Exile their own pain from the traumatic experience meaning they have parts of them that do everything in their power to make sure they don't feel their own pain so it gets locked away or exiled they may have parts that would prefer to

[00:26:31] focus on the other person and their anger at that person they may walk away from the experience with more protectors than they had originally meaning now they may be hyper Vigilant about crossing the street more anger or road rage maybe some insomnia or inability to relax their lives could become more limited through the attempts to try to protect themselves from getting hurt again when not connected to our resilience we may feel a tremendous amount of dysregulation in our nervous system after a scary and life-threatening event people may have a hard time coming back to arrange that feels manageable in their nervous system they may cut themselves off from feeling anything in their body because there's a lot of pain in the body they may feel isolated from others spiritually they may disconnect from Source God the universe for various reasons including how could God let this happen

[00:27:34] now let's look at some ways accessing your resilience could look like and how I work with it first we would identify and name all the parts that came up around the traumatic experience of getting hit by a car for example there's the angry part the part that wants revenge Injustice there's the anxious part there's the self-doubt part there's the part that blames others or ourselves the part that's carrying the physical and emotional pain of being physically hit and injured the part that feels so vulnerable after having their life flash before them the part that's sad because they can't do the same things they used to do physically a part that feels so alone because no one really understands what they're going through so we identify all the parts and then we separate from all the parts to get to know who we are at the core our core resilient self emerges I often use this prompt who are you in this present moment when

[00:28:38] all your parts step back this reveals our core self and our innate resilience resilience is a true power so it doesn't need to avoid facing anything about the experience it doesn't feel like a victim it can find acceptance for the reality of what happened it knows your true nature and knows that ultimately you are okay even when you're no longer in this physical body it doesn't need to go to war with ourself or anyone else it is fearless it can be with the parts that are angry and hurt and make space for all the emotions to be felt it's not about spiritually bypassing our anger and hurt it's knowing that those are parts of us but not all of us it's a matter of separating from those parts so that the core self can help them heal from another level of consciousness through this process the parts get to know and build trust with the core self

[00:29:42] when people have greater access to their core self they can derive meaning out of adversity they find the ways that they can grow and evolve from the experience they forgive the people who harm them because they understand that this is how they recover their power and that by being a victim they actually continue to lose power to the people that harm to them they face their own pain from a Fearless place and through adversity they experience the depths of their resilience they take care of their protector and Exile Parts as a competent parent would take care of their children they listen and empathize they have compassion and understanding they help these parts realize that the core self is a tremendous resource that they can always call upon and feel supported by the core self helps the parts who are operating from Fear to relax it helps the parts that are operating from Pain to release the Pain by courageously being present and allowing

[00:30:46] it to move through them by accessing their core resilient self they stay connected to themselves to their body others into a bigger source many people think that healing from trauma is a grueling and painful thing to do but if you ask the people I work with they'll tell you that actually they feel more in touch with their power and resilience when healing in this way they actually feel better at the end of the session they're accessing their core resilient self and through this process they're nourishing and enriching themselves any opportunity to heal is an opportunity to reclaim and embody your power at the end of this episode I offer a question for you to reflect upon how would your life be different if someone taught you how to access your resilience from a young age take a minute and try to imagine you're made up of all these parts the parts that are carrying the pain and the fear

[00:31:49] now ask yourself who am I in this present moment when I ask all of my parts to give me some space what am I aware of how do I feel what's different many of us haven't been taught how to access the innate resilience within us that's why I've created this podcast because I want the information to get out there to anyone who would like to have it thanks for listening to this podcast if you found this episode helpful please consider assisting me in reaching more people by sharing it with others or writing a review together let's raise our Consciousness to help evolve Humanity for more information please visit my website daniellecarron.com that's d-a-n-i-e-l-l-e-c-a-r-r-o-n.com [Music]

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