# Live from power, resilience, and sovereignty instead of fear, pain, and conditioning
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[00:00:01] hello and welcome my name is Danielle Karen many people reach out to me saying that they're done with talk therapy and they want to experience results that they can feel and integrate I've worked over 14 years as a licensed integrative psychotherapist and I switched to coaching where I bring all that experience in training and yet transcend the limitations of psychotherapy I work efficiently and effectively to help people experience their goals it's my mission to help people live from their power resilience and sovereignty instead of from Pain fear and conditioning I've always seen Health as integrative and multi-dimensional which means I look through the following lenses physical physiological psychological emotional relational biochemical or nutritional energetic and spiritual and I've trained in many different modalities to learn how these systems operate it's my passion to

[00:01:05] provide an integrative model that addresses the many ways that trauma neglect loss unmet emotional needs and conditioning can impact us to the main modalities that I integrate into my work include somatic experiencing and internal family systems internal family systems or ifs was developed by Dick Schwartz at the foundation of this model is a belief in understanding that we all have at our core in inherently resilient present and regulated self this is when we feel most like ourself I draw this core self out as the sun because I believe it's always shining and always available your core self is innately resilient meaning it's already wired in you don't have to build it up or make it stronger it's part of the Divine Design it's more a matter of how much access we have to it and when we can access it we are able to be with our worst pain in our greatest fear innate resilience doesn't

[00:02:09] need to push through judge or control anything it's a true power and it's my passion to help people connect to this within themselves however there are two main parts that can get in our way of accessing our core resilient self one is called a protector and one is called an exiled part the Exiles I draw as a little stick figure in a bubble they're in a bubble because they're stuck in time and they're reliving pain trauma and vulnerability we'll naturally Exile these parts because the protector Parts don't want us to go about our day being overwhelmed by that pain trauma or vulnerability The Protector Parts I draw as clouds because when they're present they're clouding out the sun they're the ones responsible for exiling those exiled parts and there are coping mechanisms for example anger anxiety hyper vigilance perfectionism caretaking people pleasing avoiding distracting there also are parts that are the inner critic and judge we can have pretty

[00:03:13] destructive Parts as well as protectors such as an eating disordered part an addict or a suicidal part what's important to know about these protector Parts is that they all have a positive intention to help your protect you despite the way that they're going about it another way to look at it is that we want your core self the sun in the driver's seat in your car driving the path of your life we all have protectors in the back seat and the Exiles are like locked in the trunk now the protectors are going to look through the windshield through the lens of the past and if they don't feel like your core self is listening if they don't feel like they can trust your core self and if they don't know that your course off exists then they're going to jump into the driver's seat and take the car off course now the Exiles know they can't just subtly get your attention because the protector parts will slam the door on them so they come through with intensity they're going to flood you with intense feelings emotions flashbacks nightmares

[00:04:16] sometimes they're gonna get try to get your attention through bodily illness or disease the wisdom in this is if they can get your attention then they have an opportunity to heal and they don't have to be stuck in the past reliving whatever it is that they experienced in the past if you don't feel like yourself often it's because you have a part or parts that are jumping into the driver's seat and driving you around so let's look at an example let's say somebody has an anxious part and that part is trying to predict the future is going through all the worst case scenarios and in doing so it is causing this person to feel tense they can't relax Maybe Can't engage with other people they're very hyper Vigilant they can't focus and so it might interfere with their relationships their work their sleep and now let's say we have another part that's the inner critic part and saying I hate that part it's not helpful it's no good we need to fight it so that we can get rid of it the anxiety is going to come back and

[00:05:19] say I can't stop because if I did she might get hurt and I don't trust that she can handle that so what we have here is a dialogue that's happening between one part and another and when this is happening and two parts are pulling us in separate directions we can feel stuck or stagnant in life not to mention we have this inner battle going on so in my work what I'm doing is helping people shift the inner dialogue to come from the core resilient self which is the conscious mind and instead of on the level of the parts which is the subconscious mind and the subconscious programs and conditioning this is very different than many different types of talk therapy or even traditional types of therapy because as you can imagine if you're not paying attention if somebody's not helping you identify which part of you is talking at the moment then you can easily get lost in the default programs so if you're doing some kind of therapy

[00:06:21] or coaching and they're not helping you identify your parts and which parts are talking then it's going to be very hard for you to experience the change that you're looking for a quote by Albert Einstein that I love is we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we use to create them and this unfortunately is not something that talk therapy really addresses when we connect to the core resilient self we bring curiosity compassion and understanding to these parts so that they can feel like we understand them and in the process of that dialogue they get to know about our core self and our innate resilience when they connect to and Trust our core self then they can relax in the back and make space for our core resilient self to be in the driver's seat and drive the path of our life another modality that I integrate is called somatic experiencing which was developed by Peter Levine by studying animals in the wild Peter really learned

[00:07:25] the impact of stress and Trauma on our nervous system he created a three-year training helping people learn how to help others heal from all types of trauma and how to work with the body because the body is the window into the nervous system to better understand the nervous system let's take a look at it like the gas and the brake on your car the gas is like the sympathetic nervous system it's the energy that drives the go and the break is like the parasympathetic nervous system it's the rest digest and relax and we all want a natural rhythm in our nervous system as if the gas and break are pressed easily so that we can have a smooth ride in our body or in the car analogy when the nervous system is regulated I'd call this the Goldilocks just right Zone and that's when life feels manageable and we all have a sense of wanting to maintain this internal homeostasis in our nervous system right because if we wake up and we're feeling

[00:08:27] tired and sluggish a lot of us are going to reach for something caffeinated or stimulating to get the energy and drive to go about our day and the same thing at the end of the day if somebody wants to fall asleep but they're feeling like too amped up then they're going to reach for something that's going to help them relax and um be able to sleep so that they can have a good night's rest so we're all trying to maintain this internal homeostasis in our nervous system however most of us haven't been taught how to regulate our nervous system using our own awareness and when we haven't learned that then we end up reaching for things outside of ourselves to regulate our nervous system such as our phone the internet substances food shopping things like that and that becomes problematic when we depend on things outside of ourselves to achieve a certain feeling what happens with trauma or ongoing stress is that it can dysregulate our nervous system and when we have too much

[00:09:30] gas that can look like feeling overwhelmed anxiety anger rage hyper vigilance insomnia or increased heart rate and sweating or we could have too much break which is going to look like depression fatigue lack of motivation apathy things like low muscle tone poor digestion lower immune functioning and things like that the dysregulated nervous system can also look like the gas and the break on Full Throttle so in the in the car analogy the car is not going to move but the engine's going to rev and in a human what what's going to happen is people can look very calm on the outside but there's a lot of intense dysregulation happening on the inside and that's often very uncomfortable and this is what's happening when people are experiencing a freeze or dissociation many people are experiencing too much gas too much brake or the gas and brake on Full Throttle and they're missing this goldier locks just right Zone the regulated nervous system where life

[00:10:35] feels manageable I help people learn the tools and the skills to regulate their body using their awareness so that they can feel at home in their body wherever they go I also help people experience corrective experiences what do I mean by that well first I'm not interested in rehashing the past the way that it happened so when somebody's telling me their story or what happened to them in the past I'm looking for what was missing what they didn't get to experience or what they needed to experience in order to feel a sense of resolution and what's great is that the body will always give us feedback as far as whether it's integrating the new corrective experience so that we know it's not just a mental exercise and what we know about Neuroscience is if the mind is connected to the body and we're aware and we're Mindful and we're Imagining the new experience then the brain is going to perceive it as if it's really happening

[00:11:37] so we can't change the past but what we can do is change our relationship to the past so when it comes to Healing from trauma or wanting to update our menu so that we have new options available to us it's important that we engage and work with the body from our conscious awareness it's my passion to help people know and experience their true power and resilience I see my work as helping people weave back up or stitch together um the parts of themselves that were separate from their core self back to the core self and when the parts experience this connection to the core self it's like the nourishment that they were always looking for and likewise I also help people connect their core self back up to Source or the Divine or God or the universe whatever word that you have for it because it's also just as nourishing and really helps us Thrive when all of us are connected back up to our source when integrating our spiritual nature

[00:12:42] and connection into this work I respect everyone's unique perspectives and I help to strengthen and expand their spiritual connection I also guide people to know themselves beyond their body after I had a life-changing near-death experience where I got to know myself beyond my body as your coach I will fully support you in facing the fears and challenges that are getting in your way of your desires and aspirations I'll help you get crystal clear on your intentions and I'll map out a way to get there together we'll work efficiently and effectively to support you in experiencing your goals
