😂 Trending Reddit Jokes - November 01, 2026

[5 pts] Why?…*you’ll* never see it 🤷🏻‍♂️

[3 pts] We normal people will never see it ever. It’s a waste of tax money and it’s not 1920 so we like never use it

[26 pts] Was wondering when Brick jokes would be back ....... Then it hit me

[55 pts] Mmmmm ok.

[15 pts] Good old Kenny - https://youtu.be/yHkx2ZU5xQY

[116 pts] That reminds me of my garbage-collection company years ago who had the slogan "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your garbage back!" painted on all their trucks. Needless to say, I never called them to complain...

[53 pts] Free upgrade!

[21 pts] Moose-turd pie!

[58 pts] Why do Jehovah’s Witness love Halloween? People actually answer the door when they knock.

[74 pts] A pair of Jehovahs witness came to my door and asked me " have you found Jesus?" My reply , ...." what. !! You lost him again???! "

[12 pts] Two Jehovah Witness came to my door recently. I told them thank you but I've already found my path. They were surprised but seemed satisfied with my answer and they left with a smile. I didn't tell them that the path led to a 7/24 cannabis dispensary and an adult sex toy shop for swingers.

[32 pts] Lol, took me a minute

[8 pts] A cockney or an Australian, perhaps?

[9 pts] This works best with an Irish or Scottish accent.

[2 pts] For the pirates how much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced.... A buccaneer

[30 pts] No, what does not follow those conditions

[5 pts] My brain went to pi, but there is no e

[6 pts] post office

[16 pts] This conversation first happened in 1783.

[4 pts] Given the coordinates, they’re roughly in Wentworth Valley, Nova Scotia, Canada for anyone wondering.

[2 pts] A guy drives up in a car to a shepherd watching over a flock of sheep, leans out the window, and says: — If I tell you how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one? The shepherd, a bit surprised, replies: — Sure, why not? Then the guy pulls out a laptop, hooks it up to his cell phone, connects to the internet, goes to NASA's website, selects GPS satellite tracking, figures out the exact coordinates of where he is, and sends them to another NASA satellite, which scans the area and produces a high-resolution photo. Next, the guy forwards the image to a lab in Hamburg, which sends him an email a few seconds later confirming that the image has been processed and the data saved in a database. Via ODBC, he connects to an MS-SQL database, copies the data into an Excel spreadsheet, and starts running calculations. A few minutes later, he gets the result and prints out 150 color pages on his miniature printer. Finally, he says to the shepherd: — You have 1,586 sheep in your flock. — Spot on! That's exactly how many sheep I have. Well, go ahead and pick one. The guy picks one and loads it into his trunk. Then the shepherd says to him: — Look, if I guess what your job is, will you give it back to me? After thinking for a moment, the guy says: — Alright, go ahead. — You're a consultant, isn't that right? — the shepherd suddenly blurts out. — That's true, damn it! How on earth did you figure that out? — It was easy to do, — says the shepherd. — You showed up when nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already know to a question nobody asked you, and on top of that, you don't know a damn thing about my work. SO GIVE ME BACK MY DOG!

[3 pts] Advice from someone who knows 😶‍🌫️

[2 pts] Should have opened a pet groomers instead

[1 pts] Groans

[1 pts] They are always on key.

[26 pts] The aggressive one? That's Astrophe's twin brother, Aclysm. The black one hiding in the basement is Acomb. The one who's pretending to be loose and boneless is Aplectic.

[19 pts] Then there’s the one I saw flying through the air: Apult.

[20 pts] Then there's the most relaxing companion, Harsis.

[2 pts] The vampire shouted Fowl play!

[5 pts] One of the best I've seen yet in this sub. Well executed.

[2 pts] I bet if she were alive today, she’d be listening to the music of Molly Hatchet.

[1 pts] Always good advice: if you're not sure whether the request is real, just axe the person.

[1 pts] If you have a dog, they'd clean it up for you!

[1 pts] You might want to get yourself checked, the color seems a little off... 😉

[1 pts] u/ElynaTheStrange, your post does belong here!

[4476 pts] Google no nut november

[1514 pts] girls are happy cuz they get to wear costumes, boyare stressed cuz no nut November's starts tomorrow

[1 pts] Remember when r/PeterExplainsTheJoke wasn’t a meme? Pepperidge Farm remembers… Does this post belong in our subreddit? If so, **please upvote this comment!** If this is a **REPOST**, please reply to this comment with a link to the original. Otherwise, **downvote this comment!** Then maybe you go out and buy yourself some of those distinctive Milano cookies. ---- (*Vote is ending in approximately 0 hour*)

[2272 pts] This is old style of iMessage, where the messages really looked like bubbles. And so, now it's aquarium

[249 pts] It looks like a cute lil aquarium 

[1 pts] u/pseudogladiator_, your post does belong here!

[4249 pts] Hot chicks sell products

[1120 pts] I think this is an Antimeme. The original had the person asking “If they could get the third cheese wheel”

[2277 pts] That latitude line is so precisely specified that there are about 20000 similar ones also going through the great pyramid. The one they picked isn't even in the center, it's just a bit north. You can do this with any landmark, pick a line that goes through it that matches some other constant. It's not a coincidence, it's just picking the numbers you like.

[3487 pts] God here. https://preview.redd.it/ahbyxktugvyh1.jpeg?width=583&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bd078e78172e3f7d0211424f2478bca54d8ae20 God out.

[204 pts] Good example of The Texas Sharpshooter fallacy

[1 pts] Remember when r/PeterExplainsTheJoke wasn’t a meme? Pepperidge Farm remembers… Does this post belong in our subreddit? If so, **please upvote this comment!** If this is a **REPOST**, please reply to this comment with a link to the original. Otherwise, **downvote this comment!** Then maybe you go out and buy yourself some of those distinctive Milano cookies.

[341 pts] A google search shows she's a small time actor/director/fight coordinator (?). No porn here that I can find. Maybe it's alluding to how she's so niche or something? ETA: Olivia Wilkinson... But she looks like Evelyn Claire, so yeah, I guess it is porn once removed. Huh, one to add to the spank bank. Errrr... This is Tom Tucker.

[89 pts] Wow this sub has really turned to murdering itself

[1 pts] **Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). We have a discord server!! Join us here: https://discord.gg/VruY5kvcmc *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*

[196 pts] An oldie but a goodie

[128 pts] the moment where he said "Where are you?" while he immediately came out was just pure comedic gold timing !!!!

[1 pts] **Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). We have a discord server!! Join us here: https://discord.gg/VruY5kvcmc *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*

[238 pts] 

[50 pts] 

[1 pts] **Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). We have a discord server!! Join us here: https://discord.gg/VruY5kvcmc *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*

[34 pts] You said I could say that once a year.

[29 pts] 

[1 pts] **Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). We have a discord server!! Join us here: https://discord.gg/VruY5kvcmc *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*

[11 pts] I love how the artist makes Mace seem more and more unhinged when he laughs in a scene

[8 pts] https://preview.redd.it/nwh2zun50zyh1.png?width=959&format=png&auto=webp&s=5994c5dbba405200ca0632f876d56bd7eb347079 Fellow men of culture.

[68 pts] I really like how this sub has become an off-label Rx for baiting out bots.

[34 pts] Try not eating money lol

[5 pts] Sounds like a country music Hit.

[35 pts] This joke sleighs

[9 pts] What do you call someone that doesn't believe in Santa Claus? eggnogstic

[2 pts] Conan O'Brien was only a kid when he came up with.... What do you call the fear of getting stuck una a chimney? Santa claustrophobia

[133 pts] That joke could've been three months shorter than it was

[33 pts] The more I read the more I knew how bad the pun was going to be

[20 pts] I was too invested to stop reading but idk if the payout was worth it

[13 pts] Is it thrillingly tight?

[6 pts] this belongs in r/spoonerisms

[-21 pts] [removed]

[19 pts] Head not on Shoulders?

[4 pts] Shambooooo

[3 pts] They dry it with a white sheet

[1 pts] OP (BigMort66) sent the following text as an explanation why they posted this here: --- > I don’t know who this is or why it’s happening ---

[2512 pts] This is legendary bluesman Robert Johnson, and refers to his death. The most commonly accepted version of his death comes from his close friend and "chitlin circuit" touring partner Sonny Boy Williamson II, who stated that Robert was flirting with the wife of the man who owned the venue where they were performing. The owner supposedly sent Robert an open bottle of whiskey that Sonny Boy prevented him from drinking, saying "Man, don't never drink from an open bottle. You don't know what could be in it." Robert is said to have retorted "Man, don't ever knock a bottle out of my hand." A second bottle was sent over, and Robert began drinking it. He became seriously ill soon afterwards and was bedridden for three days in severe pain before finally dying on August 16, 1938. Researchers have confirmed the basics of this account, suggesting that the husband only spiked the drink with the intent to scare Johnson, but the drug ended up aggravating an ulcer that Johnson had recently been diagnosed with.

[352 pts] That's Robert Johnson, blues guitarist who supposedly died by drinking poison.

[1 pts] OP (Almighty_016) sent the following text as an explanation why they posted this here: --- > How is that ? ---

[579 pts] Halloween VS no nut novemeber

[127 pts] NNN increases your chances of prostate cancer. The more you know.

[1 pts] OP (TheDarkKnight505) sent the following text as an explanation why they posted this here: --- > Need explaining abou Jlaw's statment after 2nd childl ---

[343 pts] Childbirth, especially vaginal birth can do alot of damage to a woman's privates area. Thats it there isnt a joke.

[201 pts] Natural birth can lead to the bit of flesh between their vagina and their butt hole ripping. It heals but it’s apparently not always the same after

[11 pts] Sum fish ?

[5 pts] One fish two fish four fish sum fish

[2 pts] the ffic cuber

[5 pts] Ts should be a quadrillion dollar problem for one to solve by hand.

[6 pts] equation looking like the TA fell asleep on the keyboard again

[2 pts] This is truly what little kids imagine when they think adult math is just using bigger and bigger numbers

[88 pts] Maybe that was a “Sink-o de Mayo” special?

[50 pts] What if that faucet dispensed queso?

[28 pts] So when they asked you what you wanted to go with it, you said "everything *including* the kitchen sink"?

[24 pts] Can you at least take the dishes out of the lamp and put them in front of you?

[17 pts] Well it's unwieldy, inconvenient, annoying and uncomfortable but at least it's ugly.

[1 pts] I think the candelabra is actually kind of pretty for a fine Gothic have a holiday. It looks like it'd be tough to get the deviled egg out of there though, but at least it's not ceviche that you have to hold the whole time, and the little sammies are absolutely darling, especially for Halloween!

[83 pts] That's so many pancakes...

[32 pts] Also pretty weird to put a whole stick of cinnamon on the pancakes. Why not sprinkle a bit of ground cinnamon instead of a stick that you cant eat

[20 pts] I have a question. It's not about the lack of plate. Or the sauce. It's about how the fuck are you as an adult human going to consume that many pancakes, and why the fuck did you order this?

[7 pts] It's so porous, wouldn't that be a bitch to clean?

[3 pts] "Plants have sticks, cheese sticks are sticks. Just stick those in a planter" - The restaurant probably

[3 pts] I only eat my mozzarella sticks served atop the finest Italian ceramics.

[878 pts] Personally I think Sam Altman breathing is a waste of oxygen, it belongs in my house instead

[99 pts] "You having stuff is so wasteful. It would be so much more efficient if I had your stuff and then rented it to you."

[81 pts] Sam Altman: 

[64 pts] All three of them!

[27 pts] That's at least three bits.

[10 pts] You need a field that can house 2048 pumpkins with just that one in the center

[218 pts] Conflicts get fixed by whoever wrote the PR. Otherwise I'm a contributor on that PR and no longer allowed to review. I'll review them in the order they come in. If there's a conflict by the time I get to it, it goes back to it's creator. And when it's Friday, as any other day, I'll log off once my 8 hours are up. The rest can wait until Monday. Or 6 if I need to shave some hours from my overtime account and have HR breathing down my neck again, because I always seem to have more overtime hours accumulated than allowed.

[76 pts] >you have to fix merge conflicts 

[34 pts] 10k lines? That’s one PR from the team AI bro and the mission to clean up a couple regexes. Bonus: it not only doesn’t pass tests but won’t build either, because their agent built and tested it with a custom harness that skipped everything bad and then disabled CI/CD to get the commit in, and the team lead wants it approved by the end of the day.

[37 pts] Still doesn't put the fear of god in me more than accidentally opening the web browser on my LG C2000 flip phone in 2005.

[18 pts] SynthID was detected. This media was made or edited with Google AI. Rule 9

[6 pts] *Heads for the hills at scared miles per hour.*

[247 pts] I don't think I've ever said those words in that order before.

[213 pts] Why are you executing trick and only checking for the existence of treat? Edit: going to ignore responses because I think everybody is missing the code smell/issue I am trying to highlight.

[35 pts] Some shitty code... if(!GetTreat()) Trick();

[3 pts] What do they have in common? Plastic

[1 pts] Both are made with plastic and shouldn’t be left alone with young kids and Jackson sings too…..

[3 pts] That's not an anti joke.

[1 pts] I just checked Guinness Book of World Records and the longest conversation is when an Amway sales person knocked on a Jehovah Witness’s door!

[1 pts] What happens when you cross a Jehovah Witness with a Biker? He knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off

[1 pts] Enter *surprised Pikachu face* managers

[1 pts] Sounds like someone was skipping ThinkingAhead 101 in Boss School

[1 pts] How do you go about requesting more than 2 days at a time in the first few months? What if you wanted a week off in January or February? I'm lucky to work at a place that gives employees their annual allocation on January 1st.