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Teacher: “Emil… why are you coming into my classroom on your hands and knees?” |
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A boy telling his friend: “The food was awful at summer camp this year. My first day there, I threw mine in the lake and darned if the fish didn’t throw it back.” |
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Teacher: “If your father earned $50,000 a month and gave your mother half, what would she have?” |
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Teacher: “In the alphabet, what comes after ‘O’?” |
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Teacher: “Attention class! First off, who can name a deadly poison?” |
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Teacher: “Just how did this window get broken?” |
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New kid: “Where do you live?” |
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Two kids talking:
Kid 1: You should been with me this summer at camp. We had a lot of tough times with skunks. |
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Elmer: “Hey, Gorge, did you hear about the tire that had a nervous breakdown?” |
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“My mother really talked to the airplane pilot when we got on the plane.” |
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Two kids were walking home from school. “What should we do tonight?” – one asked. |
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Jonas: “Did you hear about the stupid farmer who ran a steamroller over his field of potatoes?” |
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Mary: “Get away from me, Jamie. You remind me of the ocean.” |
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A small boy ridiculed the talk about a painless dentist in his neighborhood. |
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After the third day of school, the six-year-old came running home from school crying and sobbing. She ran into the house and up to her mother, sobbing: “M-mom, how long does it take a little girl to finally graduate?” |
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The class was on a tour of the local art museum and the teacher stopped before a reproduction of a DaVinci painting. |
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The school employs a doctor to teach the children about body parts. |
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The teacher began: “Can anyone in class tell us the meaning of axis?” |
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A group of elementary school students were on a field trip to the local police station. Several of the children were fascinated by the wanted posters on the wall. |
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There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was plagued by local kids who would sneak into his patch at night and steal watermelons. |
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A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were doing. |
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Summer was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. |
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A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and rushed right over. |
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Little Johnny’s father was a rector in a small church. When the bishop came to visit, Little Johnny became very excited. |
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A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit’s end as to what to do about their sons’ behavior. |
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. |