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Dad: Shame on you, Peter. Why did you hit your little sister? |
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“Mary, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?! exclaimed the angry mother. |
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“Mama, there’s a man at the door,” said little Johnny. |
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Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” |
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It was the end of the school year and Joey’s mother asked: “And were the exam questions difficult?” |
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A family took a trip to Disney World. After three exhausting days, they headed home. As they drove away, the son waved and said, “Goodbye, Mickey.” |
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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. |
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A Chinese man rings his boss, “Me no work I sick.” |
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The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day. |
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A doctor says to his patient, “I have a bad news and a worse news”. |
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Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it. |
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Grandma and her little grandson were in the park picking up ripe walnuts on a beautiful fall day. “These are the kind of nuts your Daddy loves best,” she said. |
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“Did God make you, Papa?” |
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Little Emma returned from the birthday party and her mother asked: “Did you say ‘thank you’?” |
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Mom was preparing the two children for bed and was telling bedtime stories. She remarked that God made eyes to see, ears to hear, noses to smell and feet to run. |
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With a frown wrinkling his forehead, little Johnny was working hard at his father’s desk scratching a pen along a page of his paper. His mother asked, “Are you writing a letter to your little girlfriend, Son?” |
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A man called his friend’s house and a small voice greeted him. |
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What can you put in your right hand but not your left? |