Note: The information in this book is true and complete to the best of our knowledge. This book is intended only as an informative guide for those wishing to know more about health issues. In no way is this book intended to replace, countermand, or conflict with the advice given to you by your own physician. The ultimate decision concerning care should be made between you and your doctor. We strongly recommend you follow their advice. Information in this book is general and is offered with no guarantees on the part of the authors or Balance. The authors and publisher disclaim all liability in connection with the use of this book. The names and identifying details of people associated with events described in this book have been changed. Any similarity to actual persons is coincidental.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Name: Grizont, Stella, author.

Title: The work happiness method: master the eight skills to career fulfillment / Stella Grizont.

Description: First edition. | New York, NY: Balance, [2024] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2023040149 | ISBN 9780306832246 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780306832253 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9780306832260 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Job satisfaction. | Career development.

Classification: LCC HF5549.5.J63 G75 2024 | DDC 650.1—dc23/eng/20230830

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2023040149

ISBNs: 9780306832246 (hardcover); 9780306832253 (trade paperback); 9780306832260 (ebook)

E3-20250502-JV-PC-REV

CONTENTS

COVER

TITLE PAGE

COPYRIGHT

DEDICATION

PROLOGUE   How This All Started and Why You Need It

INTRODUCTION   The Eight Inner Skills

CHAPTER 1   Resilience
How to Manage Your Mind and Mood

CHAPTER 2   Clarity
How to Know What You Really, Really Want and Define Your Unique Vision of Success

CHAPTER 3   Purpose
How to Make Conscious Decisions with Confidence and Live Your Values Every Day

CHAPTER 4   Boundaries
How to Self-Care and Avoid Burnout

CHAPTER 5   Play
How to Deal with Uncertainty

CHAPTER 6   Discovery
How to Explore New Roles and Responsibilities

CHAPTER 7   Approach
How to Transform Confrontations into Conversations

CHAPTER 8   Refocus
How to Return to What Matters (Without Pushing So Hard)

CONCLUSION   It’s Been for You, for All of Us

EPILOGUE   I Believe In You

APPENDIX

RECOMMENDED READING

NOTES

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

DISCOVER MORE

PRAISE FOR  "THE WORK HAPPINESS METHOD"

Cover

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To Ilya, Linor, and Lev, thank you for teaching me what life is all about.

To my parents and the generations of shoulders I stand on, thank you for your strength. I love you.

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PROLOGUE

How This All Started and Why You Need It

It was on the floor of my three-hundred-square-foot Hell’s Kitchen apartment, in a fetal position, with an empty Nutella jar next to me that I asked myself, “How did I land here again?!” I had spent the previous ten years of my career on a roller coaster, plunging from Corporate America to working for a start-up to running my own business. And despite achieving whatever I put my mind to, I found myself once again burned out, unmotivated, and feeling guilty for polishing off yet another container of chocolate ecstasy—with a tablespoon.

Most likely, you already have a hunch of what I wish I knew back then: that no matter where you work, your issues can follow you. And though maybe you’ve fantasized about other jobs or even other careers, you have a sneaking suspicion that escaping this one might not be the answer to the fulfillment you seek. What if you leave and get a new job but end up feeling the EXACT SAME WAY?! Yeah, been there and done that. Let me tell you how that went, real quick.…

Prior to launching my coaching and training company, I spent nearly ten years in brand strategy. I was paid to listen to people, unearth their deepest desires, and then use those insights to help brands sell better. I thought I was in my dream job, working at one of the world’s most prestigious ad agencies, Y&R. I gave it my all and often found myself toiling past midnight, alone in a dark, empty building on Madison Avenue—surviving off a vending machine. I received plenty of recognition and I loved my colleagues, but something was still missing. I didn’t feel like I was using my full potential or doing meaningful work. I wanted to do something that I was passionate about. Little by little, it became harder and harder to wake up in the morning. I started catching frequent colds (which was unusual for me). I became depressed and panicked about my career. I started interviewing at other agencies, but it just seemed like more of the same. I didn’t know where to go or what I wanted. I just knew I wanted to care about what I did and feel like I was making a difference.

Have you ever been there? Having the “is this all there is?” conversation with God, the universe, or whoever else you speak to when you can’t sleep and dread the morning ahead.

Most alarming about this time was that I didn’t recognize who I was anymore. I always had given 150 percent to my work, and now I found myself giving 85 percent. My confidence and general enthusiasm were gone. I would come home, reach for the tablespoon, grab for the gorgeous hazelnut chocolate heaven in a jar, and try to numb it all away.

I have a feeling that if you’re reading this, you’re also an overachiever, but you’re not feeling up to overachieving like you used to, am I right?

Eventually, I decided that Corporate America just wasn’t for me. I went to work for a start-up that was dedicated to helping women launch their businesses. This was it—or so I thought. I felt like I had found my tribe. I was inspired by the businesswomen I was supporting. I had the opportunity to develop workshops that we offered to over a hundred thousand entrepreneurs. I helped grow our market presence from twenty-four to fifty-four cities across the United States and Canada. And I got to manage and train eighty-eight market leaders. What was most meaningful was the opportunity to personally coach hundreds of women in pursuing their dreams. This couldn’t have been a better match for me. But then things started to change. The 2008 recession happened. Our leadership wasn’t aligned. I didn’t agree with our growth strategy. And, little by little, I began to resent the community that I was once eager to serve. Once again, I found myself nursing a Nutella jar, confused about my future and exhausted by my present.

I decided that if I couldn’t find happiness working for other companies and other people, I would work for myself. After helping thousands of other women launch their businesses, I was going to finally launch my own. Inspired by my own state of feeling stuck and miserable at work, I wanted to create an offering that would reignite people, help them break free and be their most alive self at work and in life. To help me understand how to do that, I decided to first go back to school and study the science of happiness, or more formally, Applied Positive Psychology, at the University of Pennsylvania. I was one of the first one hundred people to get a master’s degree in happiness. Now I had all the knowledge and tools not only to make myself happy but also to help others. So how was it that just a year after I graduated I was on the floor in my three-hundred-square-foot apartment in the fetal position in a Nutella coma, drowning in imposter syndrome?

I had spent nearly a decade supporting women in launching their dreams, and here I was, sabotaging my own. Although I had a positive start with my business—with clients like Google, Johnson & Johnson, and Aramark—I found myself turning down opportunities because I wasn’t motivated to do what I had to do. With a freakin’ degree in happiness, here I was, paralyzed by fear, anxiety, and depression. What happened?

Finally, I began to understand one of the most powerful insights that has since freed me and the thousands of people I support each year. I realized that it wasn’t Corporate America, the start-up world, the clients, or the leaders I was working with that made me miserable… it was me.

It’s been me all along.

So, where does that leave you? Are you, also, at the root of your challenges? I’m not saying that your micromanaging boss isn’t the problem or that you don’t deserve more recognition or pay or that your company culture doesn’t have issues or that you shouldn’t strive to make a bigger impact. But what I am saying is that if you really want things to change, you’ve got to start with you. Your feeling dissatisfied, bored, miserable, or just unenthusiastic is not all your fault, but it is your responsibility to do something about it. My goal is to help you become aware of just how damn powerful you are and how you have more control than you imagine.

That said, some people have more control than others. Our systems need a lot of work to make things fair and good. This is a small paragraph acknowledging big issues such as discrimination, nonliving wages, lack of good and affordable childcare for all, lack of environmental sustainability, and beyond. Organizations have to do their part because we don’t all have time or the means to fight the big fight. Kids need to get to school, lunches need to be made, bills need to be paid—we can’t all work on fixing the system or transforming work cultures, but we can all work on ourselves to make a difference. Plus, we can vote. But for now, you and I are going to tackle what’s within your reach to help you work happier and live better.

Most of us didn’t grow up learning the skills—the inner skills—we need to actually be happy at work and in life. And most aren’t learning them on the job now. That’s what I’m here to help you with. I’m writing to help you take control where you can.