THE PARSONAGE AGAIN
For a months I at home, in the of and rest, and friendship, from all of which I had so long; and in the of my studies, to what I had my at Wellwood House, and to in new stores for use. My father's health was still very infirm, but not than when I last saw him; and I was I had it in my power to him by my return, and to him with his songs.
No one over my failure, or said I had have taken his or her advice, and at home. All were to have me again, and more than upon me, to make up for the I had undergone; but not one would touch a of what I had so and so saved, in the of it with them. By of here, and there, our were already nearly paid. Mary had had good success with her drawings; but our father had upon her all the produce of her to herself. All we from the supply of our and our little expenses, he us to put into the savings'-bank; saying, we not how soon we might be on that alone for support: for he he had not long to be with us, and what would of our mother and us when he was gone, God only knew!
Dear papa! if he had himself less about the that us in case of his death, I am that event would not have taken place so soon. My mother would him to on the if she help it.
"Oh, Richard!" she, on one occasion, "if you would but such from your mind, you would live as long as any of us; at least you would live to see the girls married, and a happy grandfather, with a old for your companion."
My mother laughed, and so did my father: but his laugh soon in a sigh.
"They married—poor things!" said he; "who will take them I wonder!"
"Why, nobody shall that isn't for them. Wasn't I when you took me? and you pretended, at least, to be pleased with your acquisition. But it's no they married or not: we can a thousand of making a livelihood. And I wonder, Richard, you can think of your about our in case of your death; as if that would be anything with the of you—an that you well know would up all others, and which you ought to do your to us from: and there is nothing like a mind for the in health."
"I know, Alice, it is to keep as I do, but I cannot help it: you must with me."
"I won't with you, if I can you," my mother: but the of her was by the of her and smile, that my father again, less sadly and less than was his wont.
"Mamma," said I, as soon as I an opportunity of speaking with her alone, "my money is but little, and cannot last long; if I it, it would papa's anxiety, on one at least. I cannot like Mary, and so the best thing I do would be to look out for another situation."
"And so you would actually try again, Agnes?"
"Decidedly, I would."
"Why, my dear, I should have you had had of it."
"I know," said I, "everybody is not like Mr. and Mrs. Bloomfield "
"Some are worse," my mother.
"But not many, I think," I, "and I'm sure all children are not like theirs; for I and Mary were not: we always did as you us, didn't we?"
"Generally: but then, I did not you; and you were not perfect after all: Mary had a fund of obstinacy, and you were in to temper; but you were very good children on the whole."
"I know I was sometimes, and I should have been to see these children sometimes too; for then I have them: but they were, for they not be offended, hurt, ashamed: they not be in any way, when they were in a passion."
"Well, if they not, it was not their fault: you cannot to be as as clay."
"No, but still it is very to live with such unimpressible, creatures. You cannot love them; and if you could, your love would be away: they neither return it, value, it. But, however, if I should on such a family again, which is unlikely, I have all this to with, and I should manage another time; and the end and of this is, let me try again."
"Well, my girl, you are not easily discouraged, I see: I am of that. But, let me tell you, you are a good and than when you left home; and we cannot have you your health to up money either for or others."
"Mary tells me I am too; and I don't much wonder at it, for I was in a of and all day long: but next time I am to take coolly."
After some discussion, my mother promised once more to me, provided I would wait and be patient; and I left her to the to my father, when and how she it most advisable: her ability to obtain his consent. Meantime, I searched, with great interest, the of the newspapers, and to every "Wanted a Governess" that appeared at all eligible; but all my letters, as well as the replies, when I got any, were to my mother; and she, to my chagrin, me reject the one after another: these were low people, these were too in their demands, and these too in their remuneration.
"Your are not such as every clergyman's possesses, Agnes," she would say, "and you must not them away. Remember, you promised to be patient: there is no need of hurry: you have of time you, and may have many yet."
At length, she me to put an advertisement, myself, in the paper, my qualifications, &c.
"Music, singing, drawing, French, Latin, and German," said she, "are no assemblage: many will be to have so much in one instructor; and this time, you shall try your in a higher family—in that of some genuine, gentleman; for such are more likely to you with proper respect and than those purse-proud and upstarts. I have among the higher ranks who their as one of the family; though some, I allow, are as and as any one else can be: for there are and good in all classes."
The was and despatched. Of the two parties who answered it, but one would to give me fifty pounds, the my mother me name as the salary I should require; and here, I about myself, as I the children would be too old, and their would some one more showy, or more experienced, if not more than I. But my mother me from it on that account: I should do well, she said, if I would only my diffidence, and a little more in myself. I was just to give a plain, true of my and qualifications, and name what I to make, and then the result. The only I to propose, was that I might be allowed two months' the year to visit my friends, at Midsummer and Christmas. The unknown lady, in her reply, no to this, and that, as to my acquirements, she had no I should be able to give satisfaction; but in the of she those as but points; as being in the of O, she masters to supply any in that respect: but, in her opinion, next to morality, a mild and and were the most requisities.
My mother did not this at all, and now many to my the situation; in which my sister supported her: but, to be again, I them all; and, having the of my father (who had, a time previously, been of these transactions), I a most to my unknown correspondent, and, finally, the was concluded.
It was that on the last day of January I was to enter upon my new office as in the family of Mr. Murray, of Horton Lodge, near O, about seventy miles from our village: a to me, as I had been above twenty miles from home in all the of my twenty years' on earth; and as, moreover, every in that family and in the was unknown to myself and all my acquaintances. But this it only the more to me. I had now, in some measure, got of the that had me so much; there was a in the idea of entering these unknown regions, and making my way alone among its inhabitants. I now myself I was going to see something in the world: Mr. Murray's was near a large town, and not in a district, where the people had nothing to do but to make money; his rank from what I gather, appeared to be higher than that of Mr. Bloomfield; and, doubtless, he was one of those my mother spoke of, who would his with as a well-educated lady, the and of his children, and not a upper servant. Then, my being older, would be more rational, more teachable, and less than the last; they would be less to the schoolroom, and not that and watching; and, finally, with my hopes, with which the of children and the of a had little or nothing to do. Thus, the reader will see that I had no to be as a to piety, going to peace and for the purpose of up stores for the and support of my parents: though the of my father, and the support of my mother, had a large in my calculations; and fifty appeared to me no ordinary sum. I must have my station; I must, it seemed, put out my washing, and also pay for my four Horton Lodge and home; but with attention to economy, surely twenty pounds, or little more, would those expenses, and then there would be thirty for the bank, or little less: what a valuable to our stock! Oh, I must to keep this situation, it might be! for my own among my friends and for the solid services I might them by my there.
