DOING FATHER A BIT OF GOOD
Reggie Van Tuyl approached the table languidly, and into a chair. He was a long with a and look, as though the of the Tuyl millions was more than his support. Most him.
“I say, Reggie, old top,” said Archie, “you’re just the I wanted to see. I the of a of intellect. Tell me, laddie, do you know anything about sales?”
Reggie him sleepily.
“Sales?”
“Auction sales.”
Reggie considered.
“Well, they’re sales, you know.” He a yawn. “Auction sales, you understand.”
“Yes,” said Archie encouragingly. “Something—the name or something—seemed to tell me that.”
“Fellows put up for sale you know, and other fellows—other go in and—and ’em, if you me.”
“Yes, but what’s the procedure? I mean, what do I do? That’s what I’m after. I’ve got to something at Beale’s this afternoon. How do I set about it?”
“Well,” said Reggie, drowsily, “there are of bidding, you know. You can shout, or you can nod, or you can your fingers—” The of was too much for him. He in his chair. “I’ll tell you what. I’ve nothing to do this afternoon. I’ll come with you and you.”
When he entered the Art Galleries a minutes later, Archie was of the support of such a as Reggie Tuyl. There is something about an room which upon the novice. The was in a dim, religious light; and the congregation, seated on small chairs, in at the pulpit, where a of presence and pince-nez was a of chant. Behind a gold at the end of the room to and fro. Archie, who had been something on the lines of the New York Stock Exchange, which he had once been to visit when it was in a more than mood, the ecclesiastical. He sat and looked about him. The on with his chant.
“Sixteen-sixteen-sixteen-sixteen-sixteen—worth three hundred—sixteen-sixteen-sixteen-sixteen-sixteen—ought to five hundred—sixteen-sixteen-seventeen-seventeen-eighteen-eighteen nineteen-nineteen-nineteen.”
He stopped and the with a and eye. They had, it seemed, him. His curled, and he a hand a uncomfortable-looking chair with and a good of gold paint about it. “Gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen! You are not here to waste my time; I am not here to waste yours. Am I offered for this eighteenth-century chair, to be the piece in New York for months and months? Am I—twenty? I thank you. Twenty-twenty-twenty-twenty. Your opportunity! Priceless. Very extant. Twenty-five-five-five-five-thirty-thirty. Just what you are looking for. The only one in the City of New York. Thirty-five-five-five-five. Forty-forty-forty-forty-forty. Look at those legs! Back it into the light, Willie. Let the light on those legs!”
Willie, a of acolyte, manœuvred the chair as directed. Reggie Tuyl, who had been in a of way, his of interest.
“Willie,” he observed, that more with than reproach, “has a like Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy, don’t you think so?”
Archie briefly. Precisely the same had to him.
“Forty-five-five-five-five-five,” the high-priest. “Once forty-five. Twice forty-five. Third and last call, forty-five. Sold at forty-five. Gentleman in the row.”
Archie looked up and the with a eye. He was to see who had been to give forty-five for such a object. He aware of the dog-faced Willie him.
“Name, please?” said the one.
“Eh, what?” said Archie. “Oh, my name’s Moffam, don’t you know.” The of the him a little “Er—glad to meet you and all that of rot.”
“Ten deposit, please,” said Willie.
“I don’t you, old bean. What is the big at the of all this?”
“Ten deposit on the chair.”
“What chair?”
“You forty-five for the chair.”
“Me?”
“You nodded,” said Willie, accusingly. “If,” he on, closely, “you didn’t want to bid, why did you nod?”
Archie was embarrassed. He could, of course, have pointed out that he had in to the that the other had a like Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy; but something to tell him that a purist might the in tact. He a moment, then over a ten-dollar bill, the price of Willie’s feelings. Willie like a tiger from the of its victim.
“I say, old thing,” said Archie to Reggie, “this is a thick, you know. No will this drain.”
Reggie the matter. His under the strain.
“Don’t again,” he advised. “If you aren’t careful, you into the of it. When you want to bid, just your fingers. Yes, that’s the thing. Twiddle!”
He drowsily. The of the room was close; you weren’t allowed to smoke; and he was to that he had come. The service continued. Objects of came and went, by the priest, but by the congregation. Relations the and the were more and more distant. The to the of having an in his eulogies, and the to the of a to waste his time. He had to openly as to why they were there at all. Once, when a particularly of a female with an green skin had been offered at two and had no bidders—the appearing for his that it was the only of its on the continent—he had them of having come into the room with the purpose of and taking the weight off their feet.
“If your thing—your whatever-it-is, doesn’t come up soon, Archie,” said Reggie, off with an the of sleep, “I think I shall be along. What was it you came to get?”
“It’s difficult to describe. It’s a rummy-looking of what-not, of or something. I call it Pongo. At least, this one isn’t Pongo, don’t you know—it’s his little brother, but in every respect. It’s all complicated, I know, but—hallo!” He pointed excitedly. “By Jove! We’re off! There it is! Look! Willie’s it now!”
Willie, who had through the gold curtain, had now returned, and was on a a small of workmanship. It was the of a in a of with upon an adversary. A permeated Archie’s frame. Parker had not been mistaken. This was the companion-figure to the Pongo. The two were identical. Even from where he sat Archie on the of the on the the same of which had his from the original Pongo.
The high-priest, by previous rebuffs, the with a by the congregation, who were looking upon Pongo’s little as just another of those things.
“This,” he said, with a shake in his voice, “is something very special. China figure, said to date to the Ming Dynasty. Unique. Nothing like it on either of the Atlantic. If I were selling this at Christie’s in London, where people,” he said, nastily, “have an of the beautiful, the rare, and the exquisite, I should start the at a thousand dollars. This afternoon’s has me that that might possibly be too high.” His pince-nez militantly, as he upon the throng. “Will anyone offer me a for this figure?”
“Leap at it, old top,” said Reggie Tuyl. “Twiddle, dear boy, twiddle! A dollar’s reasonable.”
Archie twiddled.
“One I am offered,” said the high-priest, bitterly. “One here is not to take a chance. One here a good thing when he sees one.” He the manner for one of and direct reproach. “Come, come, gentlemen, we are not here to waste time. Will anyone offer me one hundred for this superb piece of—” He off, and for a moment almost unnerved. He at someone in one of the seats in of Archie. “Thank you,” he said, with a of gulp. “One hundred I am offered! One hundred—one hundred—one hundred—”
Archie was startled. This sudden, jump, this in Pongos, if one might so it, was more than a little disturbing. He not see who his was, but it was that at least one among those present did not to allow Pongo’s to by without a fight. He looked at Reggie for counsel, but Reggie had now definitely up the struggle. Exhausted nature had done its utmost, and now he was with closed eyes, through his nose. Thrown on his own resources, Archie think of no than to his again. He did so, and the high-priest’s took on a note of positive exuberance.
“Two hundred I am offered. Much better! Turn the round, Willie, and let them look at it. Slowly! Slowly! You aren’t a roulette-wheel. Two hundred. Two-two-two-two-two.” He lyrical. “Two-two-two—There was a lady named Lou, who was a train at two-two. Said the porter, ‘Don’t worry or or scurry. It’s a minute or two to two-two!’ Two-two-two-two-two!”
Archie’s increased. He to be at this man across of misunderstanding. Nothing is to to a than a twiddle, and Archie’s idea of the language of and the high-priest’s idea did not by a mile. The high-priest appeared to that, when Archie twiddled, it was his to in hundreds, in Archie had meant to that he the previous by just one dollar. Archie that, if time, he make this clear to the high-priest, but the gave him no time. He had got his audience, so to speak, on the run, and he to them they rally.
“Two hundred—two hundred—two—three—thank you, sir—three-three-three-four-four-five-five-six-six-seven-seven-seven—”
Archie sat in his chair. He was of a which he had only twice in his life—once when he had taken his lesson in a and had on the of the brake; the second time more recently, when he had his down-trip on an lift. He had now the same of being away with by an machine, and of having left most of his organs at some little from the of his body. Emerging from this of emotion, out the one clear that, be the opposition what it might, he must secure the prize. Lucille had sent him to New York to do so. She had her for the cause. She on him. The enterprise had for Archie something almost sacred. He like a of old on the of the Holy Grail.
He again. The ring and the had nearly twelve hundred dollars. Up to that his was in the ring.
“Eight hundred I am offered. Eight hundred. Eight-eight-eight-eight—”
A voice spoke from at the of the room. A quiet, cold, nasty, voice.
“Nine!”
Archie rose from his seat and round. This attack from the his spirit. As he rose, a man in of him rose too and likewise. He was a square-built resolute-looking man, who Archie of somebody he had before. But Archie was too trying to the man at the to pay much attention to him. He him at last, to the that the of in that part of the room were upon him. He was a small man of middle age, with tortoise-shell-rimmed spectacles. He might have been a or something of the kind. Whatever he was, he was a man to be with. He had a rich of look, and his was the of a man who is prepared to it out on these lines if it takes all the summer.
“Nine hundred I am offered. Nine-nine-nine-nine—”
Archie at the man.
“A thousand!” he cried.
The of high finance into the of the afternoon’s had the out of its lethargy. There were murmurs. Necks were craned, shuffled. As for the high-priest, his was now more than restored, and his in his fellow-man had from the to a very altitude. He with approval. Despite the of his he would have been satisfied to see Pongo’s little go at twenty dollars, and the that the had already one thousand and that his was twenty cent, had a mood of sunny happiness.
“One thousand is bid!” he carolled. “Now, gentlemen, I don’t want to you over this. You are all here, and you don’t want to see a of the Ming Dynasty away from you at a price. Perhaps you can’t all see the where it is. Willie, take it and it to ’em. We’ll take a little while you look at this figure. Get a move on, Willie! Pick up your feet!”
Archie, dazedly, was aware that Reggie Tuyl had his sleep and was the man in the seat in front.
“Why, hallo,” said Reggie. “I didn’t know you were back. You me, don’t you? Reggie Tuyl. I know your sister very well. Archie, old man, I want you to meet my friend, Bill Brewster. Why, it!” He sleepily. “I was forgetting. Of course! He’s your—”
“How are you?” said the man. “Talking of my sister,” he said to Reggie, “I you haven’t met her husband by any chance? I you know she married some chump?”
“Me,” said Archie.
“How’s that?”
“I married your sister. My name’s Moffam.”
The man a taken aback.
“Sorry,” he said.
“Not at all,” said Archie.
“I was only going by what my father said in his letters,” he explained, in extenuation.
Archie nodded.
“I’m your old father doesn’t me. But I’m for the best. If I can rope in that rummy-looking little thing that Jo-Jo the dog-faced boy is the customers, he will be all over me. I to say, you know, he’s got another like it, and, if he can a full house, as it were, I’m to he’ll be bucked, cheered, and braced.”
The man stared.
“Are you the who’s been against me?”
“Eh, what? Were you against me?”
“I wanted to the thing for my father. I’ve a special for wanting to in right with him just now. Are you it for him, too?”
“Absolutely. As a surprise. It was Lucille’s idea. His valet, a named Parker, us off that the thing was to be sold.”
“Parker? Great Scot! It was Parker who me off. I met him on Broadway, and he told me about it.”
“Rummy he mentioned it in his to me. Why, it, we have got the thing for about two if we had pooled our bids.”
“Well, we’d them now, and that at the there. I can’t go above eleven hundred. That’s all I’ve got.”
“I can’t go above eleven hundred myself.”
“There’s just one thing. I wish you’d let me be the one to hand the thing over to Father. I’ve a special for wanting to make a with him.”
“Absolutely!” said Archie, magnanimously. “It’s all the same to me. I only wanted to him braced, as it were, if you know what I mean.”
“That’s good of you.”
“Not a bit, laddie, no, no, and from it. Only too glad.”
Willie had returned from his among the connoisseurs, and Pongo’s was on his pedestal. The high-priest his and his discourse.
“Now that you have all this superb we will—I was offered one thousand—one thousand-one-one-one-one—eleven hundred. Thank you, sir. Eleven hundred I am offered.”
The high-priest was now exuberant. You see him doing in his head.
“You do the bidding,” said Brother Bill.
“Right-o!” said Archie.
He a hand.
“Thirteen,” said the man at the back.
“Fourteen, it!”
“Fifteen!”
“Sixteen!”
“Seventeen!”
“Eighteen!”
“Nineteen!”
“Two thousand!”
The high-priest did but sing. He good will and bonhomie.
“Two thousand I am offered. Is there any on two thousand? Come, gentlemen, I don’t want to give this superb away. Twenty-one hundred. Twenty-one-one-one-one. This is more the of thing I have been to. When I was at Sotheby’s Rooms in London, this of was a common-place. Twenty-two-two-two-two-two. One noticed it. Three-three-three. Twenty-three-three-three. Twenty-three hundred I am offered.”
He at Archie, as a man at some dog he calls upon to perform a trick. But Archie had the end of his tether. The hand that had so often and so his trouser-leg, feebly. Archie was through.
“Twenty-three hundred,” said the high-priest, ingratiatingly.
Archie no movement. There was a pause. The high-priest gave a little sigh, like one from a dream.
“Twenty-three hundred,” he said. “Once twenty-three. Twice twenty-three. Third, last, and final call, twenty-three. Sold at twenty-three hundred. I you, sir, on a bargain!”
Reggie Tuyl had off again. Archie his brother-in-law on the shoulder.
“May as well be popping, what?”
They their way sadly together through the crowd, and for the street. They passed into Fifth Avenue without the silence.
“Bally nuisance,” said Archie, at last.
“Rotten!”
“Wonder who that was?”
“Some collector, probably.”
“Well, it can’t be helped,” said Archie.
Brother Bill himself to Archie’s arm, and communicative.
“I didn’t want to mention it in of Tuyl,” he said, “because he’s such a talking-machine, and it would have been all over New York dinner-time. But you’re one of the family, and you can keep a secret.”
“Absolutely! Silent and what not.”
“The I wanted that thing was I’ve just got to a girl over in England, and I that, if I hand my father that figure-thing with one hand and the news with the other, it might help a bit. She’s the most girl!”
“I’ll she is,” said Archie, cordially.
“The trouble is she’s in the of one of the over there, and Father is to kick. So I thought—oh, well, it’s no good now. Come along where it’s quiet, and I’ll tell you all about her.”
“That’ll be jolly,” said Archie.
