"What-ho, Gussie," I said.
You couldn't have told it from my manner, but I was more than a nonplussed. The me was to anyone. I to say, this Fink-Nottle, as I him, was the of shy, who might have been to shake like an if to so much as a social Saturday at the vicarage. And yet here he was, if one one's senses, about to take part in a fancy-dress ball, a of a for the toughest.
And he was that fancy-dress ball, mark you—not, like every other well-bred Englishman, as a Pierrot, but as Mephistopheles—this involving, as I need stress, not only but a false beard.
Rummy, you'll admit. However, one one's feelings. I no astonishment, but, as I say, what-hoed with nonchalance.
He through the fungus—rather sheepishly, I thought.
"Oh, hullo, Bertie."
"Long time since I saw you. Have a spot?"
"No, thanks. I must be off in a minute. I just came to ask Jeeves how he I looked. How do you think I look, Bertie?"
Well, the answer to that, of course, was "perfectly foul". But we Woosters are men of and have a of the of a host. We do not tell old friends our roof-tree that they are an to the eyesight. I the question.
"I you're in London," I said carelessly.
"Oh, yes."
"Must be years since you came up."
"Oh, yes."
"And now you're off for an evening's pleasure."
He a bit. He had, I noticed, a air.
"Pleasure!"
"Aren't you looking to this or revel?"
"Oh, I it'll be all right," he said, in a voice. "Anyway, I ought to be off, I suppose. The thing about eleven. I told my to wait.... Will you see if it's there, Jeeves?"
"Very good, sir."
There was something of a pause after the door had closed. A constraint. I mixed myself a beaker, while Gussie, a for punishment, at himself in the mirror. Finally I that it would be best to let him know that I was of his affairs. It might be that it would his mind to in a man of experience. I have found, with those under the influence, that what they want more than anything is the ear.
"Well, Gussie, old leper," I said, "I've been all about you."
"Eh?"
"This little trouble of yours. Jeeves has told me everything."
He didn't any too braced. It's always difficult to be sure, of course, when a has himself in a Mephistopheles beard, but I he a trifle.
"I wish Jeeves wouldn't go all over the place. It was to be confidential."
I not permit this tone.
"Dishing up the to the master can be as all over the place," I said, with a touch of rebuke. "Anyway, there it is. I know all. And I should like to begin," I said, my personal opinion that the female in question was a in my to and encourage, "by saying that Madeline Bassett is a girl. A winner, and just the for you."
"You don't know her?"
"Certainly I know her. What me is how you got in touch. Where did you meet?"
"She was at a place near mine in Lincolnshire the week last."
"Yes, but so. I didn't know you called on the neighbours."
"I don't. I met her out for a walk with her dog. The dog had got a in its foot, and when she to take it out, it at her. So, of course, I had to round."
"You the thorn?"
"Yes."
"And in love at sight?"
"Yes."
"Well, it, with a thing like that to give you a send-off, why didn't you cash in immediately?"
"I hadn't the nerve."
"What happened?"
"We talked for a bit."
"What about?"
"Oh, birds."
"Birds? What birds?"
"The that to be round. And the scenery, and all that of thing. And she said she was going to London, and asked me to look her up if I was there."
"And after that you didn't so much as press her hand?"
"Of not."
Well, I mean, it looked as though there was no more to be said. If a is such a that he can't action when he's the thing on a plate, his case would appear to be hopeless. Nevertheless, I myself that this non-starter and I had been at together. One must make an for an old friend.
"Ah, well," I said, "we must see what can be done. Things may brighten. At any rate, you will be to learn that I am you in this enterprise. You have Bertram Wooster in your corner, Gussie."
"Thanks, old man. And Jeeves, of course, which is the thing that matters."
I don't mind that I winced. He meant no harm, I suppose, but I'm to say that this speech me not a little. People are always me like that. Giving me to understand, I to say, that in their opinion Bertram Wooster is a and that the only of the with and is Jeeves.
It on me.
And tonight it on me more than usual, I was with Jeeves. Over that of the jacket, I mean. True, I had him to climb down, him, as described, with the of my personality, but I was still a at his having the thing up at all. It to me that what Jeeves wanted was the iron hand.
"And what is he doing about it?" I stiffly.
"He's been the position of a of thought."
"He has, has he?"
"It's on his that I'm going to this dance."
"Why?"
"She is going to be there. In fact, it was she who sent me the ticket of invitation. And Jeeves considered——"
"And why not as a Pierrot?" I said, taking up the point which had me before. "Why this with a old tradition?"
"He particularly wanted me to go as Mephistopheles."
I started.
"He did, did he? He that costume?"
"Yes."
"Ha!"
"Eh?"
"Nothing. Just 'Ha!'"
And I'll tell you why I said "Ha!" Here was Jeeves making weather about me a perfectly ordinary white jacket, a not only ce qu'il y a de chic, but de rigueur, and in the same breath, as you might say, Gussie Fink-Nottle to be a on the London in tights. Ironical, what? One looks at this of in-and-out running.
"What has he got against Pierrots?"
"I don't think he objects to Pierrots as Pierrots. But in my case he a Pierrot wouldn't be adequate."
"I don't that."
"He said that the of Pierrot, while to the eye, the authority of the Mephistopheles costume."
"I still don't it."
"Well, it's a of psychology, he said."
There was a time when a like that would have had me snookered. But long with Jeeves has the Wooster considerably. Jeeves has always been a for the of the individual, and I now him like a when he it out of the bag.
"Oh, psychology?"
"Yes. Jeeves is a great in the of clothes. He thinks I might be in a like this. He said a Pirate Chief would be just as good. In fact, a Pirate Chief was his suggestion, but I to the boots."
I saw his point. There is in life without having like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.
"And are you emboldened?"
"Well, to be accurate, Bertie, old man, no."
A of me. After all, though we had touch a of years, this man and I had once at each other.
"Gussie," I said, "take an old friend's advice, and don't go a mile of this binge."
"But it's my last of her. She's off tomorrow to with some people in the country. Besides, you don't know."
"Don't know what?"
"That this idea of Jeeves's won't work. I a most now, yes, but who can say that will not pass off when I into a of other people in dress. I had the same as a child, one year the Christmas festivities. They me up as a rabbit, and the was indescribable. Yet when I got to the party and myself by of other children, many in than my own, I up amazingly, joined in the revels, and was able to eat so a supper that I was twice in the home. What I is, you can't tell in cold blood."
I this. It was specious, of course.
"And you can't away from it that, fundamentally, Jeeves's idea is sound. In a like Mephistopheles, I might easily off something impressive. Colour make a difference. Look at newts. During the season the male is coloured. It helps him a lot."
"But you aren't a male newt."
"I wish I were. Do you know how a male proposes, Bertie? He just in of the female his and his in a semi-circle. I do that on my head. No, you wouldn't me if I were a male newt."
"But if you were a male newt, Madeline Bassett wouldn't look at you. Not with the of love, I mean."
"She would, if she were a female newt."
"But she isn't a female newt."
"No, but she was."
"Well, if she was, you wouldn't be in love with her."
"Yes, I would, if I were a male newt."
A about the temples told me that this had point.
"Well, anyway," I said, "coming to hard and out all this about and what not, the point that is that you are to appear at a fancy-dress ball. And I tell you out of my knowledge of fancy-dress balls, Gussie, that you won't yourself."
"It isn't a question of yourself."
"I wouldn't go."
"I must go. I keep telling you she's off to the country tomorrow."
I gave it up.
"So be it," I said. "Have it your own way.... Yes, Jeeves?"
"Mr. Fink-Nottle's cab, sir."
"Ah? The cab, eh?... Your cab, Gussie."
"Oh, the cab? Oh, right. Of course, yes, rather.... Thanks, Jeeves ... Well, so long, Bertie."
And me the of weak Roman used to give the Emperor entering the arena, Gussie off. And I to Jeeves. The moment had for him in his place, and I was all for it.
It was a little difficult to know how to begin, of course. I to say, while to him off, I didn't want to his too deeply. Even when the iron hand, we Woosters like to keep the thing matey.
However, on consideration, I saw that there was nothing to be by trying to lead up to it gently. It is any use about the b.
"Jeeves," I said, "may I speak frankly?"
"Certainly, sir."
"What I have to say may you."
"Not at all, sir."
"Well, then, I have been having a with Mr. Fink-Nottle, and he has been telling me about this Mephistopheles of yours."
"Yes, sir?"
"Now let me it straight. If I your correctly, you think that, by being in tights, Mr. Fink-Nottle, on the object, will his and let himself go with a whoop."
"I am of opinion that he will much of his normal diffidence, sir."
"I don't agree with you, Jeeves."
"No, sir?"
"No. In fact, not to put too a point upon it, I that of all the silly, ideas I in my this is the most and futile. It won't work. Not a chance. All you have done is to Mr. Fink-Nottle to the of a fancy-dress for nothing. And this is not the time this of thing has happened. To be candid, Jeeves, I have noticed now a or on your part to become—what's the word?"
"I not say, sir."
"Eloquent? No, it's not eloquent. Elusive? No, it's not elusive. It's on the of my tongue. Begins with an 'e' and means being a too clever."
"Elaborate, sir?"
"That is the exact word I was after. Too elaborate, Jeeves—that is what you are to become. Your methods are not simple, not straightforward. You cloud the issue with a of that is not of the essence. All that Gussie needs is the elder-brotherly of a man of the world. So what I is that from now you this case to me."
"Very good, sir."
"You off and to your about the home."
"Very good, sir."
"I shall no think of something and yet perfectly long. I will make a point of Gussie tomorrow."
"Very good, sir."
"Right ho, Jeeves."
But on the all those started in, and I that for twenty-four hours I didn't give the a thought, having problems of my own to with.
