I don't I was looking so something out of an Edgar Allan Poe myself, for, as you can imagine, the news item which I have just recorded had got in me properly. If the Bassett, in the that the Wooster had long been hers and was waiting to be in on demand, had to take up her option, I should, as a man of and sensibility, have no choice but to come across and in. The was not one that be out with a prosequi. All the evidence, therefore, to point to the that the had come upon me and, what was more, had come to stay.
And yet, though it would be to that my on the was the I would have liked it to be, I did not of at a solution. A man, in this snare, would no have in the at once and to struggle; but the whole point about the Woosters is that they are not men.
By way of a start, I read the note again. Not that I had any that a second would me to place a different on its contents, but it helped to in while the brain was up. I then, to thought, had another go at the fruit salad, and in ate a slice of cake. And it was as I passed on to the that the started working. I saw what had to be done.
To the question which had been the mind—viz., can Bertram cope?—I was now able to reply with a "Absolutely."
The great on these occasions of dirty work at the is not to your but to keep and try to the ringleaders. Once the ringleaders, and you know where you are.
The here was the Bassett. It was she who had started the whole by Gussie, and it was clear that anything be done to solve and clarify, she must be to her views and take him on again. This would put Angela into circulation, and that would Tuppy to a bit, and then we to somewhere.
I that as soon as I had had another of I would this Bassett out and be eloquent.
And at this moment in she came. I might have that she would be up shortly. I to say, may ache, but if they know that there is a cold set out in the dining-room, they are sure to come in sooner or later.
Her eyes, as she entered the room, were on the mayonnaise, and she would no have a bee-line for it and started hers, had I not, in the of her, a of the best with which I was to about a of mind. The noise her to turn, and for an supervened. A the cheek, and the a bit.
"Oh!" she said.
I have always that there is nothing that helps to you over one of these moments like a spot of stage business. Find something to do with your hands, and it's the battle. I a plate and forward.
"A touch of salmon?"
"Thank you."
"With a of salad?"
"If you please."
"And to drink? Name the poison."
"I think I would like a little orange juice."
She gave a gulp. Not at the orange juice, I don't mean, she hadn't got it yet, but at all the those two provoked. It was as if someone had mentioned to the of an Italian organ-grinder. Her a shade, she registered anguish, and I saw that it was no longer the of practical politics to try to the to like cold salmon.
So did she, I imagine, for when I, as a to to tacks, said "Er," she said "Er," too, simultaneously, the of "Ers" in mid-air.
"I'm sorry."
"I your pardon."
"You were saying——"
"You were saying——"
"No, go on."
"Oh, right-ho."
I the tie, my when in this girl's society, and had at it:
"With to yours of date——"
She again, and took a of salmon.
"You got my note?"
"Yes, I got your note."
"I gave it to Jeeves to give it to you."
"Yes, he gave it to me. That's how I got it."
There was another silence. And as she was from talking turkey, I was to do so. I mean, somebody had got to. Too silly, a male and female in our position and at one another without a word.
"Yes, I got it all right."
"I see. You got it."
"Yes, I got it. I've just been reading it. And what I was wanting to ask you, if we to into each other, was—well, what about it?"
"What about it?"
"That's what I say: What about it?"
"But it was clear."
"Oh, quite. Perfectly clear. Very well and all that. But—I mean—Well, I mean, of the honour, and so forth—but—— Well, it!"
She had off her salmon, and now put the plate down.
"Fruit salad?"
"No, thank you."
"Spot of pie?"
"No, thanks."
"One of those on toast?"
"No, thank you."
She took a straw. I a cold egg which I had overlooked. Then I said "I to say" just as she said "I think I know", and there was another collision.
"I your pardon."
"I'm sorry."
"Do go on."
"No, you go on."
I my cold egg courteously, to that she had the floor, and she started again:
"I think I know what you are trying to say. You are surprised."
"Yes."
"You are of——"
"Exactly."
"—Mr. Fink-Nottle."
"The very man."
"You what I have done hard to understand."
"Absolutely."
"I don't wonder."
"I do."
"And yet it is simple."
She took another straw. She to like straws.
"Quite simple, really. I want to make you happy."
"Dashed of you."
"I am going to the of my life to making you happy."
"A very scheme."
"I can at least do that. But—may I be with you, Bertie?"
"Oh, rather."
"Then I must tell you this. I am of you. I will you. I will do my best to make you a good wife. But my for you can be the I for Augustus."
"Just the very point I was to. There, as you say, is the snag. Why not the whole idea of up with me? Wash it out altogether. I mean, if you love old Gussie——"
"No longer."
"Oh, come."
"No. What this has killed my love. A of has been across a thing of beauty, and I can him as I did."
I saw what she meant, of course. Gussie had his at her feet; she had it up, and, almost after doing so, had that he had been to the all the time. The must have been severe. No girl to that a has got to be he can ask her to him. It the pride.
Nevertheless, I persevered.
"But have you considered," I said, "that you may have got a line on Gussie's performance this afternoon? Admitted that all the points to a more theory, what price him having got a touch of the sun? Chaps do touches of the sun, you know, when the weather's hot."
She looked at me, and I saw that she was in a of the old drenched-irises stuff.
"It was like you to say that, Bertie. I respect you for it."
"Oh, no."
"Yes. You have a splendid, soul."
"Not a bit."
"Yes, you have. You me of Cyrano."
"Who?"
"Cyrano de Bergerac."
"The with the nose?"
"Yes."
I can't say I was any too pleased. I the old furtively. It was a on the side, perhaps, but, it, not in the Cyrano class. It to look as if the next thing this girl would do would be to me to Schnozzle Durante.
"He loved, but another's cause."
"Oh, I see what you now."
"I like you for that, Bertie. It was of you—fine and big. But it is no use. There are which kill love. I can Augustus, but my love for him is dead. I will be your wife."
Well, one has to be civil.
"Right ho," I said. "Thanks awfully."
Then the of out once more, and we and cold eggs in silence. There to some little as to what the next move was.
Fortunately, do much more supervening, Angela came in, and this up the meeting. Then Bassett our engagement, and Angela her and said she she would be very, very happy, and the Bassett her and said she she would be very, very happy with Gussie, and Angela said she was sure she would, Augustus was such a dear, and the Bassett her again, and Angela her again and, in a word, the whole thing got so that I was to away.
I would have been to do so, of course, in any case, for if there was a moment when it was up to Bertram to think, and think hard, this moment was that moment.
It was, it to me, the end. Not on the occasion, some years earlier, when I had to Tuppy's Cousin Honoria, had I a of being high in the and about to without trace. I out into the garden, a gasper, with the iron well in the soul. And I had into a of trance, trying to picture what it would be like having the Bassett on the for the of my life and at the same time, if you me, trying not to picture what it would be like, when I into something which might have been a tree, but was not—being, in point of fact, Jeeves.
"I your pardon, sir," he said. "I should have moved to one side."
I did not reply. I looking at him in silence. For the of him had opened up a new line of thought.
This Jeeves, now, I reflected. I had the opinion that he had his and was no longer the he had been, but was it not possible, I asked myself, that I might be mistaken? Start him off and might he not one through which I would be to off to safety, no hard behind? I myself that it was on the cards that he might.
After all, his still out at the as of old. One noted in the the same glitter.
Mind you, after what had passed us in the of that white mess-jacket with the buttons, I was not prepared to hand over to the man. I would, of course, take him into consultation. But, some of his triumphs—the Sipperley Case, the Episode of My Aunt Agatha and the Dog McIntosh, and the Affair of Uncle George and The Barmaid's Niece were a that to my mind—I at least in him the opportunity of to the of the master in his hour of peril.
But further, there was one thing that had got to be us, and clearly.
"Jeeves," I said, "a word with you."
"Sir?"
"I am up against it a bit, Jeeves."
"I am sorry to that, sir. Can I be of any assistance?"
"Quite possibly you can, if you have not your grip. Tell me frankly, Jeeves, are you in good shape mentally?"
"Yes, sir."
"Still of fish?"
"Yes, sir."
"Then it may be all right. But there is just one point I begin. In the past, when you have to self or some from some little difficulty, you have a to take of my to some private end. Those socks, for instance. Also the plus and the Old Etonian spats. Choosing your moment with cunning, you came to me when I was by and got me to of them. And what I am saying now is that if you are successful on the present occasion there must be no of that about that mess-jacket of mine."
"Very good, sir."
"You will not come to me when all is over and ask me to the jacket?"
"Certainly not, sir."
"On that then, I will on. Jeeves, I'm engaged."
"I you will be very happy, sir."
"Don't be an ass. I'm to Miss Bassett."
"Indeed, sir? I was not aware——"
"Nor was I. It came as a complete surprise. However, there it is. The official was in that note you me."
"Odd, sir."
"What is?"
"Odd, sir, that the of that note should have been as you describe. It to me that Miss Bassett, when she me the communication, was from being in a happy of mind."
"She is from being in a happy of mind. You don't she wants to me, do you? Pshaw, Jeeves! Can't you see that this is another of those which are Brinkley Court a for man and beast? Dash all gestures, is my view."
"Yes, sir."
"Well, what's to be done?"
"You that Miss Bassett, despite what has occurred, still a for Mr. Fink-Nottle, sir?"
"She's for him."
"In that case, sir, surely the best plan would be to about a them."
"How? You see. You and the fingers. You are stumped."
"No, sir. If I my fingers, it was to thought."
"Then continue twiddling."
"It will not be necessary, sir."
"You don't you've got a bite already?"
"Yes, sir."
"You me, Jeeves. Let's have it."
"The device which I have in mind is one that I have already mentioned to you, sir."
"When did you mention any device to me?"
"If you will your mind to the of our arrival, sir. You were good to of me if I had any plan to put with a view to Miss Angela and Mr. Glossop together, and I to suggest——"
"Good Lord! Not the old fire-alarm thing?"
"Precisely, sir."
"You're still to that?"
"Yes, sir."
It how much the I had had me when I say that, of the with a "Tchah!" or anything like that, I myself as to there might not be something in it, after all.
When he had this fire-alarm of his, I had sat upon it, if you remember, with the maximum of and vigour. "Rotten" was the I had to it, and you may that I a sadly, the idea proof of the of a once mind. But now it somehow to look as if it might have possibilities. The of the was that I had about the stage where I was prepared to try anything once, goofy.
"Just through that again, Jeeves," I said thoughtfully. "I it cuckoo, but it may be that I missed some of the shades."
"Your of it at the time, sir, was that it was too elaborate, but I do not think it is so in reality. As I see it, sir, the of the house, the fire ring, will that a has out."
I nodded. One the train of thought.
"Yes, that reasonable."
"Whereupon Mr. Glossop will to save Miss Angela, while Mr. Fink-Nottle the same office for Miss Bassett."
"Is that on psychology?"
"Yes, sir. Possibly you may that it was an of the late Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's detective, Sherlock Holmes, that the of everyone, upon an of fire, is to save the object to them."
"It to me that there is a of Tuppy come out a steak-and-kidney pie, but resume, Jeeves, resume. You think that this would clean up?"
"The relations of the two continue after such an occurrence, sir."
"Perhaps you're right. But, it, if we go fire in the night watches, shan't we the staff into fits? There is one of the housemaids—Jane, I believe—who already like the high if I so much as come on her a corner."
"A girl, sir, I agree. I have noticed her. But by acting we should avoid such a contingency. The entire staff, with the of Monsieur Anatole, will be at the at Kingham Manor tonight."
"Of course. That just the condition this thing has me to. Forget my own name next. Well, then, let's just try to envisage. Bong goes the bell. Gussie and the Bassett.... Wait. Why shouldn't she walk downstairs?"
"You are the of on the temperament, sir."
"That's true."
"Miss Bassett's impulse, I would imagine, sir, would be to from her window."
"Well, that's worse. We don't want her spread out in a of purée on the lawn. It to me that the in this of yours, Jeeves, is that it's going to the garden with corpses."
"No, sir. You will that Mr. Travers's of has him to have to all the windows."
"Of course, yes. Well, it all right," I said, though still a doubtfully. "Quite possibly it may come off. But I have a that it will up somewhere. However, I am in no position to at a 100 to 1 shot. I will this policy of yours, Jeeves, though, as I say, with misgivings. At what hour would you the bell?"
"Not midnight, sir."
"That is to say, some time after midnight."
"Yes, sir."
"Right-ho, then. At 12.30 on the dot, I will bong."
"Very good, sir."
