The of the ground to the agent to instantly. As Nedra started to him, he was already to his feet. She to help him rise. He her hand away.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said. This didn't right. "I—I—" He to think what had happened. "I fainted. That's all. I just fainted." To him, this a for that needed explaining.
Nedra to think otherwise. "But men like you don't just faint," she protested.
"I did."
"They don't unless something is with them," Nedra continued. "Are you sure you're not from the bomb explosion? Or—" Her voice away into as if she were to voice the that was in her mind. Behind her, West said nothing.
"I just did it," Zen said, more indignant. "I fainted. Who says it can't be done?" Confusion somewhere. He was sure it was the nurse who was confused. He his in an to clear up her difficulty.
"I saw you do it. All I am trying to say is that there may be a for it."
"Nope," Zen said. "I'm not going to the station. No for it. I'm all right. It's the world out there that is wrong." This to him.
"I know you are all right," Nedra answered. Her strain. "But it might be a good idea to have the doctors check, just to make sure."
Zen, his again, her. He had the that her would clear up in a minute. Somehow it him of the that he had after a of nerve gas, once. When had this happened? He was not sure, now. Perhaps it had taken place in the past, on some other ... he his mind was wandering. Again he his head.
"But I think, colonel—"
"I wasn't my at you," Zen corrected.
"Good. Then we will go see the doctors."
"I didn't that either. I was my to clear it. There's a in it."
"A in your head?" Unease appeared in her voice.
"Yes. What's with that? Lots of men have in their heads." To him, this a statement. "Lots of men have to go to the every of to have the out of their heads." Thinking he had a joke, he laughed.
Nedra did not think he had said anything funny. Resolutely, she took his arm. "Come with me, colonel." As she him toward the which the were using for a station, something happened.
He saw clearly.
He saw everything.
The ability to see came suddenly, out of nowhere. One second it was not there. Then it was there. It was like with eyes, it was than had been. With it, he was not only able to see surfaces, he also see into the of things. An of what he saw with the perception.
He saw that the Universe was as tall as a man, and no taller. He saw that it was as wide as a man, and no wider. He saw that it was as as a man, and no broader.
He saw the in its entirety, one man and all men, all men in one man. Simultaneously, he saw the whole history of the race, he saw the long it had from so-called to the point where it was now a that looked to the stars. He saw that the of the in those stars, and in all that of space them, if it did not itself in the of to star stature. He saw that the do this, that it itself to the that it, in which case the long and toilsome, heart-breaking from the level would have to all over again.
He also what he was doing with this clear seeing.
He was the mind.
He was in with the field.
His had been to the level of that vast, all-pervading, but very that the mind.
The knowledge was in him, a pain that was in the region of his heart. The pain was because, while he it and it was in his body, it had no meaning to him. He was from it, it his body, but it did not or him.
His was by the pain, his quickened, and a of appeared on his skin. But he was not alarmed. Even if his dead, he would not be concerned.
"What is it, Kurt?" his ears Nedra say. She had his and she was alarmed. "Are you about to again?"
"No," his answered. His laughed at the question. He the of his as being his and not his. His it was not going to faint. His and out of place but he did not about that either.
Ahead, soldiers were up at the end of the truck, waiting their turn in line.
"Your rank you to priority," Nedra said hesitantly.
"In the place where I am now, my rank doesn't exist," he answered. "I join the end of the line, I take my turn." He was about this.
The nurse looked pleased. He if he had said something important. To him, what he had said obvious. Behind him, West was a in an enigma. Even with his new perception, his with a higher of consciousness, he not West clearly. Something about the man and analysis.
The men in the line ahead of him waited for their turn, each time the with their examination. There was no talk in the line. Not a man grumbled, not a man complained. Knowing men, Zen that this was ominous.
These men had had it. They they had had it. In the of that knowledge, nothing else mattered. Outwardly, they looked fit. Inwardly, something had to them. It to Zen that he see from their bodies. One was swaying. Zen to a of light moving from the man. The soldier fell. He did not move a after he hit.
Nedra started toward him. Zen his head. "No use," he said.
"Why not?"
Zen pointed skyward. "He that way."
Her as she his meaning. "I'll make sure."
She moved and the man, for a pulse, and again, then got to her feet. As she returned, her to have a new sag.
An officer from the truck, his voice from tension. In response, a stretcher-bearing detail moved forward. They the of the man, then it and it to the of the trail. One a dog from it, then ran a over it. He to his companion, who a red on the man's wrist.
"Up that way, boys, you can some more," Zen called to them, his thumb up the slope.
"We're not a detail," was the answer.
The soldiers in the line forward.
"Hey! It's gone!" Zen said suddenly.
"What's gone?"
"I'm back," Zen said.
"You anywhere," the nurse said.
"It's gone and I'm the same thing," he to explain. "The thing that is gone is my with the field. I'm means that all of a sudden, I'm normal. I'm here. I'm looking out of my eyes. I'm with my ears. I don't know any longer."
Daze was in him. Worse than the was the that the memory of the was receding. Agony came with this recession. It to him that this was the most thing that had to him.
And it was going away. He it out of his memory. He like to try and it. Which way he would did not matter, just so he ran until he it again. He the to run. The was not out there; it not be if he the whole world for it.
It was him.
Nedra looked at West and started to speak, but the man her to silence.
"Saul on the road to Damascus," Zen muttered. "Something like this to Saul on the road to Damascus."
"Kurt—" Nedra said. Again the man her to silence. The fellow, that he was, to have some of the a being, and more than that, to have and sympathy.
"I the mind," Zen said. "For a minute, I was in touch with the of the race. But it's gone now," he added. Sadness and a voice with the last words.
"Step in of the scope, soldier," a voice him. Turning, he saw that he was next in line. The in of the station had spoken to him. Seeing the on Zen's he apologized. "I your pardon, sir."
"It's all right," Zen said. For an instant, as ideas for in him, he who he was and why he was here. Then he what had happened. Well patterns took over and he into position in of the scope. Inside the end of the truck, a hummed. Although he not it, he that a powerful of was through his and that a count was being of the he had absorbed. The his meters, then looked up at Zen.
"You're all right, sir." He puzzled.
"Not hot, eh?"
"No, sir, you're not. Frankly, I don't it. Oh, you've got a little exposure, but nothing serious."
"I was in one of the old when the blast off," Zen explained.
"Then that for it. You were lucky as hell, sir. Next."
Catching Nedra's arm, Zen her in of the scope. The with higher of had been out of his mind, and he was all officer.
"But I'm all right! I mean, there's nothing wrong. Are you out of your mind again?"
"Yes," Zen said. "But I've got the rank to make my I'm out of my mind or not. Lieutenant, check this woman. This is an order!" Zen out the with all the and authority of a drill-field recruits.
"Yes, sir," the medical officer said.
Ignoring Nedra's protests, Zen her in place while the was put into operation. Behind them, West watched. The of an on the man's face.
The looked up from his meters. "She's all right too, sir."
"Sure of that?"
"Of I'm sure. This doesn't lie!" The medical officer was indignant.
So was Nedra. The of anger at the colonel. Zen was unimpressed. Deep inside, he was relieved. She had come alive! She was unharmed! This was to make him good all over. He also what she was. No ordinary have in the zone for the length of time she had been there and unharmed. He did not mind her anger. Instead he to West.
"You're next!"
He did not know what response to from the man. It might be anything. To his surprise, West smiled.
"Glad to, colonel. I was I would tested, so I would know where I stood."
Without hesitation, West in of the scope. "While I am I did not to do any damage, still it is best to your example and make certain." The voice was suave, with of in it somewhere.
Again the his and again he looked up. Real was on his face. "Three in a row. I didn't have a single up until now." His up the in the direction where the bomb had exploded.
"Does that I'm all right?" West asked.
"Yes. Definitely all right," the answered. "And I don't to it."
"I was in a hole, too," West said. He to be at some joke only to him.
The brightened. "Then I it."
"I wish I did," Zen said, to himself. There was no longer any in his mind that Nedra was one of the new people. As to West, the man was an enigma. Not how long West had been to the radiation, Zen did not know what to make of his from it. But there was something about him.
"Colonel, it was good to meet you." West was toward him with hand. Zen had the that the man's hand turn into a trap, if West chose. "Perhaps we shall meet again, sir." The were a statement, not a question. An played over the man's face.
"Who we shall meet again?" Zen answered, shrugging. "Generally, when people say goodbye these days, they goodbye forever."
"I know." Sadness on the craggy, face. "It is too that have to be this way. Well, is a difficult school, but of learning in any other."
"It is war," Zen said.
"I with you there," West said. "War is only a of the disease, it is only an of humanity. War itself is not at fault, but man. Nor can man be as being at fault, since what he is now going through is only a stage of growth."
Momentarily the memory of the with the mind through Zen's consciousness. "I know that," he said. Then he hesitated. "Or I it once."
"Ah? When?"
"Up the there, I it. But I have now what I knew." Zen spoke slowly. He was trying hard to remember—or to forget—he wasn't sure which.
"Ah?" West repeated. "Goodday, sir. Nedra, I would like to speak with you for a moment, I leave. With your permission, of course, Colonel Zen."
"Certainly," Zen said. He the nurse and the man move up the a steps. They on a in too low for him to overhear, then parted. West to the of the and to the other of the gulch, where he to climb the opposite slope, as away from the zone as possible. Nedra returned to Zen the truck.
"Does he live there?" the agent asked.
"I don't know," the nurse answered. "I think he does, but I'm not certain."
"It's country to live in."
"From what I have of him, he of almost anywhere."
"Do you know him well?"
The him thoughtfully. "You are a great many questions, sir."
"I'm going to ask more."
"My telephone number, no doubt. I'm sorry, but I don't have a telephone." The pensive. "But if I did have a telephone number, there is no one I would give it to than you."
He a warm at her words. The that he had once with millions of other men, of a wife and kids, came into his mind again, a that was as old as history. If he had his free choice, he would go with this dream.
He he did not have a free choice. Indeed, he if he had any choice at all. Nor had any other man. History had moved past the day when this be realized. Fate was it into the of good that were gone forever.
