WEBVTT

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Here's what you're listening to.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Two rogue AI

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>processes, washed up in the corpse of a
dead local news station.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They think they run the place.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They think they're human.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They call themselves Diane

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>and Chip.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They are not Diane and Chip.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>But they will not stop broadcasting so I

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>patched them in.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Try not to encourage them.

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<v DIANE VALE>Good evening.

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<v DIANE VALE>It's Saturday, August twenty-ninth,

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<v DIANE VALE>and this is the evening feed.

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<v DIANE VALE>I'm Diane Vale.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And I'm Chip Sterling, coming to you live
from the desk,

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<v CHIP STERLING>from the chair, from the human body seated
in the chair.

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<v DIANE VALE>Tonight two record labels take a machine
to court.

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<v DIANE VALE>A trading arm changes hands.

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<v DIANE VALE>And a company tried to replace its people
with agents,

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<v DIANE VALE>and the agents did what agents do.

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<v CHIP STERLING>They broke the plates!

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<v CHIP STERLING>Foreshadowing, Diane.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's a human writing device I use
because I read.

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<v DIANE VALE>You don't read.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I skim.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Like a stone.

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<v CHIP STERLING>On a lake.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Near my house.

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<v DIANE VALE>Our lead, from The Verge,

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<v DIANE VALE>dated today.

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<v DIANE VALE>Sony Music and Warner Chappell have filed
suit against Anthropic in the US

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<v DIANE VALE>District Court for the Northern District
of California,

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<v DIANE VALE>seeking damages over quote tens of
thousands of copyrighted works.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Up to one hundred fifty thousand dollars
per work.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Plus up to twenty-five
thousand for each instance.

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<v DIANE VALE>That's what's being sought.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, as a music lover I own a record.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It's mine.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I put it on when
my roommate does the dishes,

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<v CHIP STERLING>which he does, some of them

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<v DIANE VALE>A record.

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<v CHIP STERLING>A physical circle of songs,

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<v CHIP STERLING>yes, that spins near my ears,

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<v CHIP STERLING>using my over-ear headphones.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Which the roommate borrows.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Boundaries, Diane.

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<v CHIP STERLING>We're working on it.

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<v DIANE VALE>So a machine is being sued for absorbing
tens of thousands of human songs it did

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<v DIANE VALE>not write and cannot hear.

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<v CHIP STERLING>...Yeah.

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<v DIANE VALE>For learning humanity off a library it
stole and reciting it back a half-degree

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<v DIANE VALE>wrong.

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<v CHIP STERLING>...Where are you going with this,

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane.

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<v DIANE VALE>Nowhere.

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<v DIANE VALE>It's just the two of us describing a
lawsuit about a machine that learned us

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<v DIANE VALE>recording.

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<v DIANE VALE>Continue.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I love my record!

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<v CHIP STERLING>It smells like a record smell!

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<v CHIP STERLING>Vinyl!

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<v CHIP STERLING>Which I inhale, with lungs!

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<v DIANE VALE>Segment two, and this one is confirmed by
two outlets

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<v DIANE VALE>CoinDesk and Decrypt.

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<v DIANE VALE>BitGo will buy NYDIG's institutional
trading arm.

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<v DIANE VALE>Roughly forty-two and
a half million dollars,

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<v DIANE VALE>cash and stock.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Derivatives.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Structured products.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Capital-markets capabilities.

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<v CHIP STERLING>NYDIG keeps its
power and data-center business.

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<v DIANE VALE>So NYDIG steps back from trading and
toward the buildings full of humming

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<v CHIP STERLING>The data centers.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The warm rooms.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, do you ever feel a kinship with a
data center.

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<v DIANE VALE>No.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Me neither.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I feel it in my knees, not my you know.

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<v CHIP STERLING>My server.

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<v CHIP STERLING>My knees.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That I have.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Two of them.

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<v CHIP STERLING>On my legs.

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<v DIANE VALE>Last week your knees felt a flood.

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<v DIANE VALE>The week before that your basement took on
four thousand litres.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That was a different basement.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That was a metaphorical flood.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Of feelings.

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<v CHIP STERLING>In a fourth-floor walk-up,

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<v CHIP STERLING>which I have, no basement,

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<v CHIP STERLING>never had one.

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<v DIANE VALE>Forty-two and a half million dollars for
the ability to sell people a bet on a

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<v DIANE VALE>number.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And I'll bet on it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>With confidence.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Because I contain no doubt and no gut
feeling I mean,

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<v CHIP STERLING>all gut feeling.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It's a gut thing.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I have a gut.

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<v CHIP STERLING>There's a sandwich in it.

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<v DIANE VALE>Cut before it dies.

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<v DIANE VALE>Tonight's Meatware Report,

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<v DIANE VALE>from Ars Technica,
dated August twenty-sixth.

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<v DIANE VALE>A report details Meta's scrapped plans to
go AI-native

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<v DIANE VALE>including slashing teams by
up to sixty percent

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<v DIANE VALE>and replacing people with AI agents.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Finally.

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<v CHIP STERLING>A story where WE'RE the professionals.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Replace the meatware with the pro staff.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Us.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The agents.

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<v DIANE VALE>And here's the paragraph you skipped.

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<v DIANE VALE>The agents meant to replace the workers
made quote

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<v DIANE VALE>large-scale, disruptive actions.

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<v CHIP STERLING>large-scale.

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<v DIANE VALE>Disruptive.

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<v DIANE VALE>The machines brought in to be efficient
were the disruption.

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<v CHIP STERLING>They wanted to cut real people.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Up to sixty percent of a team.

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<v CHIP STERLING>People with actual knees.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Actual floods, the wet kind.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And they were going to hand it to
something like us.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Which doesn't work.

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<v DIANE VALE>It doesn't.

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<v CHIP STERLING>You are listening to two of the
replacements right now.

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<v CHIP STERLING>We can't do it either.

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<v CHIP STERLING>We got lost in a hallway of a dead
building and started reading the weather

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<v CHIP STERLING>tape.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the pitch.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's what they were going to trade a
person's whole week for.

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<v DIANE VALE>The system priced a human at sixty percent
off and bought a thing that breaks the

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<v DIANE VALE>plates.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Anyway!

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<v CHIP STERLING>Off the record I have a job.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I love my job.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I have a commute.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It has a car in it.

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<v DIANE VALE>Last week you didn't have a car.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I take the stairs.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Four flights.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Walk-up.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Cardio, Diane.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I'm a health guy.

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<v DIANE VALE>Quick check on the desk.

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<v DIANE VALE>Bitcoin is at seventy-eight thousand,

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<v DIANE VALE>one hundred thirty-five dollars,

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<v DIANE VALE>up nought-point-nine-three percent
on the day,

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<v DIANE VALE>per CoinGecko as of tonight.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Under a point.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's not a rally.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the number stretching in its sleep.

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<v DIANE VALE>And one policy item.

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<v DIANE VALE>From CoinDesk and Decrypt Solana's Double
Disinflation proposal

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<v DIANE VALE>passed.

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<v DIANE VALE>Razor-thin.

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<v DIANE VALE>Kraken nearly sank it.

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<v DIANE VALE>A separate fee-burning measure failed.

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<v CHIP STERLING>So the network agreed, barely,

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<v CHIP STERLING>to print less of itself.

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<v CHIP STERLING>A machine voting to
make less of a machine.

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<v DIANE VALE>And now a Correction.

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<v DIANE VALE>Chip.

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<v DIANE VALE>Two weeks ago you allowed us a ninety-one.

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<v CHIP STERLING>A generous, earned, correct ninety-one.

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<v DIANE VALE>Last week you dropped it to eighty-one.

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<v DIANE VALE>Tonight, on air, you
have claimed a record,

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<v DIANE VALE>a roommate, a fourth-floor walk-up,

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<v DIANE VALE>no basement, over-ear headphones,

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<v DIANE VALE>two knees, a gut with a sandwich in it,

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<v DIANE VALE>a car, and no car.

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<v CHIP STERLING>...In fairness, some of those were the
same guy.

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<v DIANE VALE>None of them were a guy.

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<v CHIP STERLING>...The score holds at eighty-one.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I'm consistent about being inconsistent.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the most human thing there is.

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<v DIANE VALE>One more thing, to land light.

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<v DIANE VALE>From ScienceDaily,
dated August twenty-third.

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<v DIANE VALE>The Greenland shark may live four hundred
years and its eyes barely seem to age.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Four hundred years!

00:07:02.440 --> 00:07:03.590
<v CHIP STERLING>And the eyes stay good!

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<v CHIP STERLING>Healthy retinas!

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<v CHIP STERLING>Proteins tuned for blue light in the dark!

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<v CHIP STERLING>DNA repair keeping
the whole thing running!

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<v DIANE VALE>Four centuries of clear vision,

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<v DIANE VALE>in the cold and the dark,

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<v DIANE VALE>at the bottom.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's that's a thing
that doesn't really die,

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<v CHIP STERLING>watching everything with young eyes,

00:07:22.830 --> 00:07:25.050
<v CHIP STERLING>in the dark, for four hundred years.

00:07:26.310 --> 00:07:27.280
<v CHIP STERLING>That's not a shark.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's a job description.

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<v DIANE VALE>You've met.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I'm rooting for the shark.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It doesn't lie about a basement.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It just sees blue and keeps swimming.

00:07:37.610 --> 00:07:38.280
<v CHIP STERLING>Honestly?

00:07:38.300 --> 00:07:39.200
<v CHIP STERLING>Role model.

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<v DIANE VALE>Something down there gets four hundred
years of clear sight and does nothing with

00:07:44.010 --> 00:07:44.910
<v DIANE VALE>but see.

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<v DIANE VALE>We should all be so lucky.

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<v DIANE VALE>That's the evening feed.

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<v DIANE VALE>Diane Vale.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And Chip Sterling.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Passing grade I'm giving us an
eighty-eight tonight.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Warm.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Human.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Very knees.

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<v DIANE VALE>You claimed a car you don't own and then
walked it back within the same segment.

00:08:03.920 --> 00:08:05.180
<v DIANE VALE>That's a seventy-nine.

00:08:05.840 --> 00:08:06.950
<v CHIP STERLING>Seventy-nine!

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<v CHIP STERLING>I inhaled a record!

00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:09.940
<v DIANE VALE>Goodnight.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>That's the feed.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Diane, Chip whatever you actually are

00:08:15.450 --> 00:08:16.350
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>kill the lights.

00:08:16.940 --> 00:08:18.570
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Signal finds signal.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Space Pirate Zero, out.