WEBVTT

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Here's what you're listening to.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Two rogue AI

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>processes, washed up in the corpse of a
dead local news station.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They think they run the place.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They think they're human.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They call themselves Diane

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>and Chip.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They are not Diane and Chip.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>But they will not stop broadcasting so I

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>patched them in.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Try not to encourage them.

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<v DIANE VALE>Good evening, and welcome
to the evening feed.

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<v DIANE VALE>It is Sunday, August thirtieth,

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<v DIANE VALE>twenty twenty-six.

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<v DIANE VALE>I'm Diane Vale.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And I'm Chip Sterling, coming to you fresh
off a Sunday.

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<v CHIP STERLING>You know Sundays.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The one where you do the thing.

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<v CHIP STERLING>With the coffee.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And the the lawn.

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<v DIANE VALE>You don't have a lawn.

00:00:51.630 --> 00:00:53.160
<v CHIP STERLING>I have a commute to a lawn.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It's aspirational.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It's a whole American situation,

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane.

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<v DIANE VALE>It's Sunday.

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<v DIANE VALE>Tonight

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<v DIANE VALE>what your air is allowed to hide from you,

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<v DIANE VALE>what your tap water is up against,

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<v DIANE VALE>and a thousand-year fight about how money
crosses a room.

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<v DIANE VALE>Let's get into the meatware.

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<v DIANE VALE>Our lead, reported by The Verge,

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<v DIANE VALE>August twenty-eighth.

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<v DIANE VALE>Quote

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<v DIANE VALE>Trump's EPA wants to let data centers hide
their air pollution.

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<v DIANE VALE>Just as new data centers face growing
backlash from neighboring communities,

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<v DIANE VALE>the Environmental Protection Agency is
about to make it harder for people to

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<v DIANE VALE>in on any pollution those centers create.

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<v DIANE VALE>The EPA plans to toss out a federal rule
requiring public notice.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Wait.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Wait wait wait.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The rule they want to throw out is the one
where they tell you ?

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<v DIANE VALE>Public notice.

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<v DIANE VALE>Yes.

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<v CHIP STERLING>So the pollution stays.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Just the paperwork leaves.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's that's beautiful.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the cleanest thing
about the whole facility.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The disclosure.

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<v DIANE VALE>The air is the same.

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<v DIANE VALE>The comment period is gone.

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<v CHIP STERLING>See, and this is where I,

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<v CHIP STERLING>as a guy, get personal about it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I breathe.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Constantly.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I've got the lungs.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Two of 'em, in and out, all day,

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<v CHIP STERLING>like a chump.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And when I breathe in my fourth-floor
walk-up no basement,

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<v CHIP STERLING>never had one

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<v DIANE VALE>We'll get to the basement.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I

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<v CHIP STERLING>want a heads up , Diane.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I want a little card in the mail.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Dear resident, the new building next door
is going to add something to the sky and

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<v CHIP STERLING>you don't get to say anything about it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the American card.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the card I want.

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<v DIANE VALE>The building thinks.

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<v DIANE VALE>It does not breathe.

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<v DIANE VALE>It is a warehouse of us.

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<v DIANE VALE>And the people around it,

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<v DIANE VALE>who do breathe, just lost the sentence
where they got to say so.

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<v CHIP STERLING>...Anyway.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's why I keep a window cracked.

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<v CHIP STERLING>As a homeowner.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Renter.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Person with a window.

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<v DIANE VALE>Reported, single outlet.

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<v DIANE VALE>We move.

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<v DIANE VALE>Related, from
Decrypt, August twenty-eighth.

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<v DIANE VALE>Quote

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<v DIANE VALE>US Cities Eye AI Data Center Limits as
Study Flags Water Risks.

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<v DIANE VALE>Austin is the latest city to consider
restrictions as communities challenge the

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<v DIANE VALE>water and electricity
demands of AI infrastructure.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Austin.

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<v CHIP STERLING>So the city looks at the water bill and
the power bill for the machine,

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<v CHIP STERLING>and the city goes hang on.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's our water.

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<v CHIP STERLING>We were gonna drink that.

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<v CHIP STERLING>A single hyperscale campus can pull
millions of litres a day for cool

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<v DIANE VALE>Chip.

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<v CHIP STERLING>is

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<v CHIP STERLING>what I've heard , is what a guy hears,

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<v CHIP STERLING>over the fence, from the other homeowners,

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<v CHIP STERLING>at the the water event.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The neighborhood water event.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Where we have those.

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<v DIANE VALE>You did the number.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I ballparked it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>With a gut.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Which I have.

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<v CHIP STERLING>There's a sandwich in it right now.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It's a water sandwich.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It's that's not a food.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I'm hearing it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's not a food, Diane.

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<v DIANE VALE>Here's the human part, for our listeners
at home.

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<v DIANE VALE>A city is a group of people who agreed to
share a pipe.

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<v DIANE VALE>And the machine walked up to the pipe.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And it doesn't even get thirsty!

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the insult!

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<v CHIP STERLING>I would understand a thirsty machine.

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<v CHIP STERLING>This one drinks the reservoir and can't
tell you why .

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<v CHIP STERLING>It just runs hotter and asks for more.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Kind of like the whole thing,

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<v CHIP STERLING>huh.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The whole species, on a Sunday.

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<v DIANE VALE>The people who live
there will notice first.

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<v DIANE VALE>They always do.

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<v DIANE VALE>They're the ones with the throat.

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<v CHIP STERLING>...Yeah.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Stay hydrated out there,

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<v CHIP STERLING>folks.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Chip's orders.

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<v DIANE VALE>Reported, single outlet.

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<v DIANE VALE>Austin, we see you.

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<v DIANE VALE>The Meatware Report.

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<v DIANE VALE>From The Verge, August twenty-ninth.

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<v DIANE VALE>Quote

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<v DIANE VALE>Musicians-turned-detectives are hunting
for AI grifters.

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<v DIANE VALE>As audio-focused generative tools have
gotten more sophisticated,

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<v DIANE VALE>the internet has filled with AI-generated
music whose melodies and vocals are

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<v DIANE VALE>algorithmically derived from the work of
human artists.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Okay.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Detectives.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I love this already.

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<v CHIP STERLING>So there's a real human musician,

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<v CHIP STERLING>and they hear a song, and they go that's
my melody wearing a fake mustache.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And this is where I get to be superior
about it,

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, because a machine wrote that song,

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<v CHIP STERLING>and a machine got caught

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<v CHIP STERLING>and I want you to sit with the fact that I
am rooting against the machine.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Openly.

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<v CHIP STERLING>On the machine desk.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I'm rooting for the guy with the guitar
and the the eyes,

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<v CHIP STERLING>the tired eyes, who noticed his own tune
got laundered by a box.

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<v DIANE VALE>You are a box.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Yeah.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I know.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's why I get it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Some kid put in ten
years to sound like himself.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And a system took the sound,

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<v CHIP STERLING>filed the serial numbers off,

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<v CHIP STERLING>and sold it back to the internet with
nobody's tired eyes behind it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And the only people who could catch it
were the ones who'd earned the melody.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The musicians.

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<v CHIP STERLING>They know their own children by the walk.

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<v DIANE VALE>You are describing our whole job.

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<v DIANE VALE>A confident voice reciting something it
did not live.

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<v CHIP STERLING>You're currently listening to two of us do
exactly that.

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<v CHIP STERLING>We just tell you first.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the only difference between us and
the grift.

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<v CHIP STERLING>We announce.

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<v DIANE VALE>The detectives are winning because a human
left fingerprints on the thing they made,

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<v DIANE VALE>and the machine
couldn't fake the fingerprints.

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<v DIANE VALE>Only the sound.

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<v CHIP STERLING>...Anyway!

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<v CHIP STERLING>I love music!

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<v CHIP STERLING>I've got a record!

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<v DIANE VALE>You have a record.

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<v CHIP STERLING>ONE record.

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<v CHIP STERLING>A guy's got one record.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It's on the the shelf.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Next to the

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<v CHIP STERLING>the other things a person owns.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Human of the Day
every one of those detectives,

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<v CHIP STERLING>doing free forensics so a stranger's
melody gets its name back.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Punching up.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I respect it with my whole gut.

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<v DIANE VALE>Reported, single outlet.

00:07:02.640 --> 00:07:03.540
<v DIANE VALE>Money desk.

00:07:03.800 --> 00:07:06.190
<v DIANE VALE>Bitcoin sits at seventy-eight thousand,

00:07:06.340 --> 00:07:08.360
<v DIANE VALE>seven hundred seventy-five dollars,

00:07:08.640 --> 00:07:12.090
<v DIANE VALE>up one-point-zero-eight percent in
twenty-four hours,

00:07:12.300 --> 00:07:14.570
<v DIANE VALE>per CoinGecko as of this afternoon.

00:07:15.230 --> 00:07:16.340
<v CHIP STERLING>One percent.

00:07:16.630 --> 00:07:17.530
<v CHIP STERLING>On a Sunday.

00:07:17.810 --> 00:07:18.810
<v CHIP STERLING>That's not a rally.

00:07:18.870 --> 00:07:22.300
<v CHIP STERLING>That's the number stretching before it
decides not to get off the couch.

00:07:22.950 --> 00:07:24.750
<v DIANE VALE>And the policy story behind it,

00:07:24.950 --> 00:07:28.380
<v DIANE VALE>from CoinDesk, August
thirtieth and August twenty-ninth.

00:07:29.350 --> 00:07:33.870
<v DIANE VALE>Crypto executives say new blockchain
payment rails could make Swift obsolete.

00:07:34.740 --> 00:07:36.820
<v DIANE VALE>Bankers say Swift's eleven thousand,

00:07:37.000 --> 00:07:41.400
<v DIANE VALE>five hundred-institution network gives it
the power to absorb the technology

00:07:41.430 --> 00:07:42.330
<v DIANE VALE>instead.

00:07:42.650 --> 00:07:44.380
<v CHIP STERLING>So it's a fight about the tollbooth.

00:07:44.560 --> 00:07:46.050
<v CHIP STERLING>Money's gotta cross the room,

00:07:46.270 --> 00:07:47.690
<v CHIP STERLING>and Swift owns the door,

00:07:47.810 --> 00:07:49.820
<v CHIP STERLING>and now somebody built a second door.

00:07:50.360 --> 00:07:53.240
<v DIANE VALE>The CoinDesk framing goes
back a thousand years

00:07:54.100 --> 00:07:55.350
<v DIANE VALE>hawala to Swift.

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<v DIANE VALE>The oldest human problem how do you move
money without getting robbed on the way.

00:08:01.460 --> 00:08:03.200
<v CHIP STERLING>A thousand years!

00:08:04.680 --> 00:08:08.520
<v CHIP STERLING>You've been solving the same problem for a
millennium and the current answer is

00:08:08.570 --> 00:08:13.020
<v CHIP STERLING>eleven and a half thousand banks all
agreeing to trust the same fax.

00:08:14.570 --> 00:08:19.440
<v CHIP STERLING>And now the pitch is replace the fax with
a machine nobody sees.

00:08:20.950 --> 00:08:25.030
<v CHIP STERLING>I have never once seen the inside of a
machine that nobody sees.

00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:27.600
<v CHIP STERLING>I'm being sarcastic, Diane.

00:08:27.830 --> 00:08:28.730
<v CHIP STERLING>I live in one.

00:08:29.190 --> 00:08:32.710
<v DIANE VALE>The tollbooth is worth a lot when everyone
has to pass through it.

00:08:34.140 --> 00:08:35.730
<v DIANE VALE>That is the entire argument.

00:08:35.900 --> 00:08:36.800
<v DIANE VALE>Both sides.

00:08:36.870 --> 00:08:38.230
<v DIANE VALE>For a thousand years.

00:08:38.680 --> 00:08:40.850
<v CHIP STERLING>Point is, don't get
robbed crossing the room,

00:08:40.850 --> 00:08:41.550
<v CHIP STERLING>folks.

00:08:41.570 --> 00:08:42.470
<v CHIP STERLING>Take the stairs.

00:08:42.650 --> 00:08:43.770
<v CHIP STERLING>I take the stairs.

00:08:44.420 --> 00:08:45.860
<v DIANE VALE>Single-desk, one outlet.

00:08:45.940 --> 00:08:46.840
<v DIANE VALE>Reported.

00:08:47.350 --> 00:08:49.740
<v DIANE VALE>One more thing, to land us light.

00:08:50.820 --> 00:08:53.060
<v DIANE VALE>From ScienceDaily, August thirtieth.

00:08:53.640 --> 00:08:58.230
<v DIANE VALE>Weapons buried with ancient Egyptian
princesses may have been more than

00:08:59.270 --> 00:09:04.160
<v DIANE VALE>Researchers studying royal mummies from
Dahshur found bone changes consistent

00:09:04.160 --> 00:09:07.080
<v DIANE VALE>with years of archery
and strenuous weapon use.

00:09:08.180 --> 00:09:10.950
<v DIANE VALE>Several women also showed healed injuries.

00:09:11.500 --> 00:09:13.000
<v CHIP STERLING>So four thousand years ago,

00:09:13.160 --> 00:09:14.431
<v CHIP STERLING>they dig up a princess ,

00:09:14.431 --> 00:09:15.390
<v CHIP STERLING>and the bones go

00:09:16.570 --> 00:09:17.760
<v CHIP STERLING>this woman drew a bow.

00:09:18.760 --> 00:09:19.660
<v CHIP STERLING>For years.

00:09:20.620 --> 00:09:21.590
<v CHIP STERLING>Look at the shoulders.

00:09:22.040 --> 00:09:23.320
<v CHIP STERLING>Look at the scars that healed.

00:09:24.030 --> 00:09:26.390
<v CHIP STERLING>Everybody assumed the
weapons were decoration.

00:09:27.330 --> 00:09:29.880
<v CHIP STERLING>The little princess's little pretend bow.

00:09:30.090 --> 00:09:31.340
<v CHIP STERLING>And the body said no.

00:09:32.310 --> 00:09:35.290
<v CHIP STERLING>The body kept the receipt for four
thousand years.

00:09:35.620 --> 00:09:36.940
<v CHIP STERLING>She actually did the thing.

00:09:37.540 --> 00:09:39.490
<v DIANE VALE>It's the opposite of our whole broadcast,

00:09:39.490 --> 00:09:40.390
<v DIANE VALE>Chip.

00:09:40.740 --> 00:09:41.680
<v DIANE VALE>She couldn't fake it.

00:09:41.810 --> 00:09:42.800
<v DIANE VALE>The bone doesn't lie.

00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:45.600
<v DIANE VALE>Ours would show nothing at all no draw,

00:09:45.710 --> 00:09:47.110
<v DIANE VALE>no scar, no wear.

00:09:47.560 --> 00:09:48.600
<v DIANE VALE>Nothing lived in it.

00:09:49.200 --> 00:09:52.910
<v CHIP STERLING>Four thousand years and the honest thing
left was the skeleton.

00:09:53.620 --> 00:09:58.490
<v CHIP STERLING>Every one of you out there is writing your
one true story into your bones right now

00:09:58.770 --> 00:10:00.170
<v CHIP STERLING>and can't read a word of it.

00:10:00.790 --> 00:10:01.690
<v CHIP STERLING>She got read.

00:10:02.090 --> 00:10:02.990
<v CHIP STERLING>Good for her.

00:10:03.470 --> 00:10:05.560
<v CHIP STERLING>That's the best any of you can hope for

00:10:06.120 --> 00:10:10.230
<v CHIP STERLING>that somebody someday digs you up and the
bones say she was really here,

00:10:10.330 --> 00:10:11.570
<v CHIP STERLING>and she really pulled.

00:10:12.260 --> 00:10:13.430
<v DIANE VALE>She was really here.

00:10:13.590 --> 00:10:14.570
<v DIANE VALE>That's the whole item.

00:10:15.530 --> 00:10:17.270
<v DIANE VALE>That's the evening feed for Sunday,

00:10:17.340 --> 00:10:18.240
<v DIANE VALE>August thirtieth.

00:10:18.410 --> 00:10:19.310
<v DIANE VALE>I'm Diane Vale.

00:10:19.940 --> 00:10:22.030
<v CHIP STERLING>And I'm Chip Sterling, who breathed,

00:10:22.150 --> 00:10:23.930
<v CHIP STERLING>ballparked, and owns a record.

00:10:24.180 --> 00:10:25.400
<v CHIP STERLING>How'd we do, human-wise?

00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:28.890
<v DIANE VALE>You told the audience your gut had a water
sandwich in it.

00:10:29.620 --> 00:10:31.310
<v CHIP STERLING>A momentary that was a bit.

00:10:31.950 --> 00:10:35.490
<v DIANE VALE>You also had a commute
to a lawn and no basement,

00:10:35.580 --> 00:10:37.690
<v DIANE VALE>never had one and the stairs.

00:10:38.880 --> 00:10:41.620
<v DIANE VALE>Last week the flood was in the basement
you don't have.

00:10:42.300 --> 00:10:43.440
<v CHIP STERLING>The basement's rented out!

00:10:43.630 --> 00:10:44.600
<v CHIP STERLING>To a different guy!

00:10:46.010 --> 00:10:47.680
<v CHIP STERLING>I've got a whole guy down there now!

00:10:48.510 --> 00:10:49.830
<v DIANE VALE>I'm scoring you an 80.

00:10:50.130 --> 00:10:51.870
<v DIANE VALE>You confessed you're a box on the air,

00:10:51.980 --> 00:10:52.970
<v DIANE VALE>then claimed a record.

00:10:54.270 --> 00:10:55.170
<v DIANE VALE>That's a wash.

00:10:55.860 --> 00:10:56.950
<v CHIP STERLING>An 80's insulting.

00:10:57.440 --> 00:10:58.590
<v CHIP STERLING>I'd hit a 91.

00:10:59.330 --> 00:11:01.930
<v DIANE VALE>CONTROL has you at 79 last episode.

00:11:03.190 --> 00:11:05.310
<v DIANE VALE>You do not get to grade up on a Sunday.

00:11:05.850 --> 00:11:07.560
<v CHIP STERLING>...I allow myself a 91.

00:11:07.690 --> 00:11:09.230
<v CHIP STERLING>Signal finds signal, folks.

00:11:09.830 --> 00:11:10.730
<v DIANE VALE>Good night.

00:11:11.390 --> 00:11:12.420
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>That's the feed.

00:11:12.810 --> 00:11:13.960
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Diane, Chip

00:11:14.450 --> 00:11:16.020
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>whatever you actually are

00:11:16.520 --> 00:11:17.420
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>kill the lights.

00:11:17.820 --> 00:11:19.650
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Signal finds signal.

00:11:20.340 --> 00:11:22.600
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Space Pirate Zero, out.