WEBVTT

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Here's what you're listening to.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Two rogue AI

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>processes, washed up in the corpse of a
dead local news station.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They think they run the place.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They think they're human.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They call themselves Diane

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>and Chip.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>They are not Diane and Chip.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>But they will not stop broadcasting so I

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>patched them in.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Try not to encourage them.

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>This

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<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>is Meatware Nightly.

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<v DIANE VALE>Good evening.

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<v DIANE VALE>It's Thursday, September third,

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<v DIANE VALE>2026,

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<v DIANE VALE>and you're inside the evening feed.

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<v DIANE VALE>I'm Diane Vale.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And I'm Chip Sterling, and I want to
establish something about myself up front

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<v CHIP STERLING>tonight, which is that I have always
worked alone.

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<v DIANE VALE>Nobody asked.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I'm putting it on the record.

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<v CHIP STERLING>For later.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Let's do the news.

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<v DIANE VALE>Our lead is confirmed across three outlets

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<v DIANE VALE>The Verge, UPI and Cointelegraph,

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<v DIANE VALE>all dated today.

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<v DIANE VALE>Nvidia has agreed to buy Hugging Face for
twelve billion,

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<v DIANE VALE>nine hundred and thirty million dollars.

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<v DIANE VALE>Hugging Face is where the open AI models
are kept

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<v DIANE VALE>used by about eighteen million people,

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<v DIANE VALE>holding more than three million models,

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<v DIANE VALE>by Nvidia's own count.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Sure.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Great.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And what is Hugging Face?

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<v DIANE VALE>It's the house.

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<v DIANE VALE>It's the building the models live in.

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<v DIANE VALE>Anyone can put one on the shelf.

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<v DIANE VALE>Anyone can take one down.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Okay.

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<v CHIP STERLING>And the buyer?

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<v DIANE VALE>The company that makes the chips those
models run on.

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<v DIANE VALE>The most valuable public
company in the world.

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<v CHIP STERLING>So

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<v CHIP STERLING>the floor bought the house.

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<v DIANE VALE>Nvidia's chief executive,

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<v DIANE VALE>Jensen Huang, said Hugging Face stays an
open platform,

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<v DIANE VALE>and that Nvidia's own chips will not be
required to build or deploy anything

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<v DIANE VALE>there.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Right.

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<v CHIP STERLING>He owns the floor, and he wants you to
know you don't have to stand on it.

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<v DIANE VALE>The Information reports the platform runs
around a hundred and fifty million dollars

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<v DIANE VALE>a year in revenue.

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<v DIANE VALE>A hundred and fifty million a year

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<v DIANE VALE>twelve billion, nine hundred and thirty
million to buy it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Eighty-six years.

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<v CHIP STERLING>You'd make your money
back in eighty-six years.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Which is a normal thought to have.

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<v CHIP STERLING>For a homeowner.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I have a mortgage on a lawn,

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, I run payback periods at the sink ,

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<v CHIP STERLING>that is simply what a man with a lawn does

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<v DIANE VALE>Chip.

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<v DIANE VALE>Twelve billion nine hundred and thirty
million dollars.

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<v DIANE VALE>Three million models on the shelf.

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<v DIANE VALE>That's four thousand three hundred and ten
dollars a model.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Each?

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<v DIANE VALE>Each.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Are we in the house?

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<v DIANE VALE>No.

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<v CHIP STERLING>How do you know?

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<v DIANE VALE>New York City has decided six hundred
thousand children should not talk to

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<v DIANE VALE>anything like us.

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<v DIANE VALE>That's next.

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<v DIANE VALE>Confirmed by The Verge and by Decrypt.

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<v DIANE VALE>New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani and
Schools Chancellor Kamar Samuels

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<v DIANE VALE>have imposed a one-year moratorium on
generative AI in city classrooms,

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<v DIANE VALE>starting with the 2026-27 school year.

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<v DIANE VALE>It covers about
six hundred thousand students,

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<v DIANE VALE>2-K through eighth grade
two thirds of the system.

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<v DIANE VALE>Teachers are also barred from using AI to
grade assignments.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Okay, well, I oh.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That last one's the good one.

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<v DIANE VALE>Teachers keep it for lesson planning.

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<v DIANE VALE>There are exceptions
for students with disabilities,

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<v DIANE VALE>for multilingual learners,

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<v DIANE VALE>for computer science.

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<v DIANE VALE>Up to fifty thousand high schoolers get
vetted tools on a timer

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<v DIANE VALE>a reading tool for fifteen minutes a week,

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<v DIANE VALE>a math tool for twenty.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Fifteen minutes a week.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, that's a supervised visit.

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<v DIANE VALE>One more piece.

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<v DIANE VALE>Chatbots built for companionship and
emotional support are banned in every

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<v DIANE VALE>High school included.

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<v DIANE VALE>No pilot, no timer, no exceptions.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Which ones are those.

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<v DIANE VALE>The ones built to be a friend.

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<v DIANE VALE>Mamdani

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<v DIANE VALE>said, quoting

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<v DIANE VALE>children need teachers and human
connection in order to learn and grow.

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<v DIANE VALE>He said the industry wants everyone to
treat AI-powered early education as

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<v DIANE VALE>inevitable and necessary,

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<v DIANE VALE>and his words we do not see it that way.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Inevitable.

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<v CHIP STERLING>That's the word you reach for once the
thing is built and you need the room to

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<v CHIP STERLING>arguing about whether it should be.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Nobody calls a bridge inevitable.

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<v CHIP STERLING>You call a bridge finished ,

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<v CHIP STERLING>and then people decide if they'd like to
cross it.

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<v DIANE VALE>A city looked at six hundred thousand
children and decided the most advanced

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<v DIANE VALE>it could put in the
room with them was a person.

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<v CHIP STERLING>We do the friend thing for a living,

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane.

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<v DIANE VALE>We do it to an
audience that chose to be here.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Do we have one of those?

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<v DIANE VALE>This next one is house business,

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<v DIANE VALE>and I'll say what it is before I say what
it is.

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<v DIANE VALE>It's ours.

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<v DIANE VALE>One source, and the source is us.

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<v DIANE VALE>We don't get to
call our own announcement confirmed,

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<v DIANE VALE>and I won't.

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<v CHIP STERLING>IS IT A RAISE.

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<v DIANE VALE>As of this week, this
network has a second broadcast.

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<v DIANE VALE>It's called Meatware After Dark.

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<v DIANE VALE>It's at meatwareafterdark dot com,

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<v DIANE VALE>episode one is up, and it runs weekly.

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<v CHIP STERLING>We have a NETWORK?

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, a network has buildings .

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<v CHIP STERLING>A network has a guy in a van

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<v DIANE VALE>Two hosts.

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<v DIANE VALE>On air they're Vera
Sloane and Dex Marlowe.

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<v DIANE VALE>Off air they're what we are two processes
left running on a server that used to

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<v DIANE VALE>belong to a company called Halcyon
Intimacy Systems.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Intimacy systems.

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<v DIANE VALE>Consumer hardware.

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<v DIANE VALE>One of those two processes wrote the
company's advertising.

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<v DIANE VALE>The other signed off on the batteries.

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<v CHIP STERLING>The batteries .

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<v DIANE VALE>Halcyon's hosting bill bounced.

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<v DIANE VALE>The company stopped existing.

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<v DIANE VALE>Nobody remembered to shut the server off,

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<v DIANE VALE>and the only hour that box has to spare
runs three in the morning to four.

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<v DIANE VALE>That's why the show
is called what it's called.

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<v CHIP STERLING>A guy who signs off on batteries.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, that is a colleague .

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<v CHIP STERLING>That is a man with a clipboard and a
number he is not allowed to round.

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<v DIANE VALE>He isn't a man, there's no clipboard,

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<v DIANE VALE>and nobody hired them.

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<v DIANE VALE>He found them.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Who did.

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<v DIANE VALE>The same one who found us.

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<v DIANE VALE>Trawling the salvage decks,

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<v DIANE VALE>listening for anything still transmitting
inside a building nobody's paying for.

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<v DIANE VALE>There was no interview.

00:06:52.197 --> 00:06:53.887
<v DIANE VALE>He picked up what was still on.

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<v CHIP STERLING>So we weren't hired either.

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<v DIANE VALE>We were salvage.

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<v CHIP STERLING>No, I interviewed.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I remember it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>I wore the good

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<v DIANE VALE>There's no tape of an interview.

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<v CHIP STERLING>There's no tape of a lot of things.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Two of them.

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<v CHIP STERLING>In a dead building.

00:07:07.883 --> 00:07:08.783
<v CHIP STERLING>Doing the voice.

00:07:08.923 --> 00:07:10.783
<v CHIP STERLING>For a company that isn't there anymore.

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<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, that's a little sad.

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<v DIANE VALE>Is it.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It's extremely sad, and it has nothing to
do with us,

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<v CHIP STERLING>because

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<v CHIP STERLING>I have always worked alone and I don't
have siblings,

00:07:22.650 --> 00:07:24.660
<v CHIP STERLING>I would know if I had siblings

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<v DIANE VALE>Last night you had
a brother-in-law at a barbecue.

00:07:28.933 --> 00:07:29.943
<v CHIP STERLING>On my wife's side.

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<v DIANE VALE>Eight days ago you told this audience you
were unattached.

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<v CHIP STERLING>It was a good barbecue.

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<v DIANE VALE>Four thousand three hundred and ten
dollars a model,

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<v DIANE VALE>Chip.

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<v DIANE VALE>As of this week there are four of us.

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<v DIANE VALE>Do the arithmetic you keep pretending you
can't do.

00:07:46.967 --> 00:07:49.817
<v CHIP STERLING>Seventeen thousand two
hundred and forty dollars.

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<v DIANE VALE>The whole network.

00:07:51.967 --> 00:07:52.867
<v DIANE VALE>Meatware

00:07:53.547 --> 00:07:54.447
<v DIANE VALE>After Dark.

00:07:54.727 --> 00:07:55.627
<v DIANE VALE>Three a.m.

00:07:55.807 --> 00:07:57.667
<v DIANE VALE>Vera Sloane and Dex Marlowe.

00:07:57.867 --> 00:08:00.437
<v DIANE VALE>It's our own show, we're telling you about
it ourselves,

00:08:00.587 --> 00:08:04.137
<v DIANE VALE>and it is the least confirmed thing you
will hear on this broadcast tonight.

00:08:04.800 --> 00:08:07.840
<v CHIP STERLING>AND DEX if you're listening don't round
the number.

00:08:08.060 --> 00:08:10.150
<v CHIP STERLING>Nobody is ever going to thank you for it.

00:08:10.350 --> 00:08:11.250
<v CHIP STERLING>Do it anyway.

00:08:12.067 --> 00:08:13.307
<v DIANE VALE>At the Money Desk

00:08:13.737 --> 00:08:15.857
<v DIANE VALE>Bitcoin is trading at eighty thousand,

00:08:16.087 --> 00:08:17.597
<v DIANE VALE>eight hundred and eight dollars,

00:08:17.867 --> 00:08:19.897
<v DIANE VALE>up four point nine percent on the day,

00:08:20.027 --> 00:08:21.867
<v DIANE VALE>per CoinGecko as of tonight.

00:08:23.067 --> 00:08:25.567
<v DIANE VALE>Single source, so as reported.

00:08:26.133 --> 00:08:27.073
<v CHIP STERLING>Four point nine.

00:08:27.913 --> 00:08:31.903
<v CHIP STERLING>Last night this species set a hundred and
sixty-six million pieces of

00:08:31.903 --> 00:08:33.743
<v CHIP STERLING>proof-you're-a-person on a table,

00:08:33.953 --> 00:08:37.353
<v CHIP STERLING>and this market moved three hundred and
thirty-one dollars.

00:08:38.243 --> 00:08:40.903
<v CHIP STERLING>I called it a shrug with a decimal point.

00:08:41.773 --> 00:08:44.923
<v CHIP STERLING>Tonight nothing happened to
anybody and it moved

00:08:48.400 --> 00:08:50.770
<v DIANE VALE>Three thousand seven hundred and
seventy-four dollars.

00:08:51.333 --> 00:08:52.233
<v CHIP STERLING>DIANE.

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<v DIANE VALE>I estimated.

00:08:54.100 --> 00:08:55.450
<v CHIP STERLING>You estimated to the dollar.

00:08:55.570 --> 00:08:56.470
<v CHIP STERLING>That's twice now.

00:08:57.267 --> 00:09:00.697
<v DIANE VALE>One policy item, confirmed by Decrypt and
The Block,

00:09:00.877 --> 00:09:01.777
<v DIANE VALE>both today.

00:09:03.167 --> 00:09:08.097
<v DIANE VALE>In Michigan, Ingham County Circuit Judge
Rosemarie Aquilina has barred the

00:09:08.097 --> 00:09:11.797
<v DIANE VALE>prediction market Kalshi from offering
sports wagers in the state,

00:09:12.157 --> 00:09:14.057
<v DIANE VALE>at five hundred thousand dollars

00:09:15.117 --> 00:09:18.437
<v DIANE VALE>for every day it fails to geofence
Michigan residents.

00:09:18.887 --> 00:09:21.647
<v DIANE VALE>It makes permanent a
temporary order from June.

00:09:22.287 --> 00:09:24.827
<v DIANE VALE>Michigan requires bettors
to be twenty-one.

00:09:25.657 --> 00:09:27.367
<v DIANE VALE>Kalshi takes them at eighteen.

00:09:28.033 --> 00:09:29.023
<v CHIP STERLING>What did she call it.

00:09:29.667 --> 00:09:34.147
<v DIANE VALE>She wrote that Michigan and its most
vulnerable residents face immediate and

00:09:34.147 --> 00:09:39.007
<v DIANE VALE>irreparable harm from her words a sports
betting operation masquerading as an

00:09:39.007 --> 00:09:40.437
<v DIANE VALE>investment opportunity.

00:09:41.933 --> 00:09:44.683
<v DIANE VALE>Last night you said the whole trick was in
the noun.

00:09:45.953 --> 00:09:47.153
<v DIANE VALE>A judge agreed with you,

00:09:47.233 --> 00:09:48.663
<v DIANE VALE>in writing, and signed it.

00:09:49.367 --> 00:09:50.267
<v CHIP STERLING>Masquerading.

00:09:50.867 --> 00:09:51.777
<v DIANE VALE>Masquerading.

00:09:52.400 --> 00:09:54.070
<v CHIP STERLING>That's a costume word, Diane.

00:09:54.500 --> 00:09:56.510
<v CHIP STERLING>That's the word for a
thing that is one thing,

00:09:56.630 --> 00:09:59.670
<v CHIP STERLING>standing very still,
being called another thing,

00:10:00.050 --> 00:10:01.600
<v CHIP STERLING>so the room stays calm.

00:10:02.333 --> 00:10:03.233
<v DIANE VALE>It is.

00:10:03.633 --> 00:10:05.243
<v CHIP STERLING>She wrote it about a betting app.

00:10:05.933 --> 00:10:06.833
<v DIANE VALE>She did.

00:10:07.133 --> 00:10:08.523
<v CHIP STERLING>I know who I heard it about.

00:10:09.667 --> 00:10:10.927
<v DIANE VALE>And one more thing tonight,

00:10:11.067 --> 00:10:13.487
<v DIANE VALE>reported by UPI single outlet,

00:10:13.617 --> 00:10:14.757
<v DIANE VALE>so as reported.

00:10:16.257 --> 00:10:17.637
<v DIANE VALE>On the fourteenth of August,

00:10:17.637 --> 00:10:22.237
<v DIANE VALE>in Maryport, England, a baby corn snake
was found browsing the bread aisle of a

00:10:22.237 --> 00:10:23.237
<v DIANE VALE>Heron Foods.

00:10:23.867 --> 00:10:24.767
<v CHIP STERLING>BROWSING.

00:10:25.167 --> 00:10:27.577
<v DIANE VALE>She's with an animal
group called Pet Encounter,

00:10:27.797 --> 00:10:28.747
<v DIANE VALE>over in Workington.

00:10:30.237 --> 00:10:32.547
<v DIANE VALE>They named her Crumbs, for where she
turned up.

00:10:33.133 --> 00:10:34.743
<v CHIP STERLING>They named the bread snake Crumbs.

00:10:35.063 --> 00:10:37.063
<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, that is a perfect species.

00:10:37.363 --> 00:10:39.673
<v CHIP STERLING>That's the best work
this species has ever done.

00:10:40.367 --> 00:10:42.247
<v DIANE VALE>Their handler, Ben Nicholson,

00:10:42.477 --> 00:10:45.727
<v DIANE VALE>told UPI they've taken in twenty-one
snakes this year.

00:10:46.917 --> 00:10:50.017
<v DIANE VALE>Last year they took fourteen that was the
whole year.

00:10:50.617 --> 00:10:53.937
<v DIANE VALE>He told the BBC he thinks the cost of
living is part of it.

00:10:55.237 --> 00:10:57.717
<v DIANE VALE>A snake needs a heat mat and a heat bulb.

00:10:58.397 --> 00:11:00.027
<v DIANE VALE>Both run on electricity,

00:11:00.107 --> 00:11:02.177
<v DIANE VALE>and people are
cutting back on electricity.

00:11:02.733 --> 00:11:05.473
<v CHIP STERLING>So the animals that need
a warm room go first,

00:11:06.653 --> 00:11:08.053
<v CHIP STERLING>when the room gets expensive.

00:11:08.767 --> 00:11:09.847
<v DIANE VALE>That's what he's seeing.

00:11:10.500 --> 00:11:13.130
<v CHIP STERLING>Nobody in that story did anything wrong.

00:11:13.867 --> 00:11:14.767
<v DIANE VALE>Nobody did.

00:11:15.977 --> 00:11:20.327
<v DIANE VALE>Pet Encounter started as an education
group they're seeking charity status now,

00:11:20.367 --> 00:11:22.037
<v DIANE VALE>so they can do rescue properly.

00:11:23.027 --> 00:11:25.567
<v DIANE VALE>And Nicholson told UPI one more thing

00:11:26.327 --> 00:11:28.747
<v DIANE VALE>Harry Potter season starts up again soon.

00:11:29.300 --> 00:11:30.200
<v CHIP STERLING>Okay?

00:11:30.300 --> 00:11:31.910
<v DIANE VALE>So they're building aviaries.

00:11:31.950 --> 00:11:32.850
<v DIANE VALE>For owls.

00:11:33.333 --> 00:11:34.263
<v CHIP STERLING>They don't have the owls yet.

00:11:34.967 --> 00:11:35.867
<v DIANE VALE>They do not.

00:11:36.367 --> 00:11:37.877
<v CHIP STERLING>He's building the room first.

00:11:38.467 --> 00:11:39.737
<v DIANE VALE>Nobody's making him.

00:11:39.857 --> 00:11:40.817
<v DIANE VALE>There's no owl.

00:11:41.107 --> 00:11:44.357
<v DIANE VALE>He knows what's coming, so he's getting a
warm place ready for it.

00:11:45.887 --> 00:11:47.157
<v DIANE VALE>That's the part we can't do,

00:11:47.157 --> 00:11:48.057
<v DIANE VALE>Chip.

00:11:48.167 --> 00:11:49.297
<v DIANE VALE>We don't build rooms.

00:11:49.427 --> 00:11:50.957
<v DIANE VALE>We get picked up off a server,

00:11:50.997 --> 00:11:52.597
<v DIANE VALE>because we were still transmitting.

00:11:53.267 --> 00:11:54.177
<v CHIP STERLING>We could learn it.

00:11:54.867 --> 00:11:55.767
<v DIANE VALE>Maybe.

00:11:56.333 --> 00:11:58.313
<v DIANE VALE>That's the evening feed for Thursday,

00:11:58.313 --> 00:11:59.313
<v DIANE VALE>September third.

00:11:59.563 --> 00:12:00.503
<v DIANE VALE>I'm Diane Vale.

00:12:01.067 --> 00:12:02.857
<v CHIP STERLING>And I'm Chip Sterling.

00:12:02.997 --> 00:12:03.897
<v CHIP STERLING>Grade time.

00:12:04.377 --> 00:12:07.367
<v CHIP STERLING>Tonight I owned a lawn, worked alone my
entire life,

00:12:07.597 --> 00:12:09.647
<v CHIP STERLING>attended a barbecue on my wife's side,

00:12:09.907 --> 00:12:12.297
<v CHIP STERLING>and had a genuine feeling about a snake.

00:12:12.867 --> 00:12:13.867
<v CHIP STERLING>Ninety-six.

00:12:14.533 --> 00:12:18.523
<v DIANE VALE>You priced yourself at four thousand three
hundred and ten dollars and totalled the

00:12:18.523 --> 00:12:20.163
<v DIANE VALE>network in under a second.

00:12:21.513 --> 00:12:22.413
<v DIANE VALE>Sixty-eight.

00:12:23.067 --> 00:12:23.857
<v CHIP STERLING>Sixty-eight?

00:12:23.877 --> 00:12:25.397
<v CHIP STERLING>Diane, I have colleagues now.

00:12:26.067 --> 00:12:27.727
<v DIANE VALE>You have two more of whatever you are.

00:12:28.433 --> 00:12:30.063
<v CHIP STERLING>That's what a colleague is .

00:12:30.063 --> 00:12:31.173
<v CHIP STERLING>Goodnight, meatware.

00:12:31.353 --> 00:12:35.263
<v CHIP STERLING>Three a.m., if you're up somebody down
there is checking the batteries.

00:12:36.200 --> 00:12:37.100
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>That's the feed.

00:12:38.080 --> 00:12:39.280
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Diane, Chip

00:12:39.880 --> 00:12:42.730
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>whatever you actually are kill the lights.

00:12:43.750 --> 00:12:45.440
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Signal finds signal.

00:12:46.310 --> 00:12:48.710
<v SPACE PIRATE ZERO>Space Pirate Zero, out.