Sampson, however, is clear that the goal of the campaign is not to address America’s underlying problems with body image. “Will we change America’s baseline distorted view of themselves? Christ no. America doesn’t go to therapy for a reason. We don’t want to go that deep. Like, ever.
“We believe that no country is stronger than one that can run away from its problems,” she continues, “and the best we can do is target surface-level issues and experience some transitory happiness before we die.”
In addition to pushing Big Pharma’s miracle drugs, the Department of Health (DOH) is also offering financial incentives to cut weight and get fitter. “How do you get people to help the poor, pay alimony, or do anything else they don’t want to do? Tax write offs,” says Thomas Ford, an official at the DOH.
The government plans to introduce an app called “America One,” known informally as “America’s Gut Check.” With smart watches and an online log, the government promises that tracking and uploading fitness data to the IRS will be simple, painless, and as easy as eating your feelings.
The Hot Again movement has gained support from a diverse spread of interest groups: politicians on both sides of the aisle, athletes, healthcare professionals, Instagram models, and perverts. But not all of America is on board with the new program. A competing initiative called “Embrace Yourself”—alternatively known as “Make America Accept They Are Who They Are and That’s Okay”—argues that the first step to solve the problem of obesity is to deny that obesity is a problem.
“The better you look, the better you want to look, and so it's a self-defeating cycle,” says David Williams, an advocate for the movement. “Not to mention the whole \"better\" and \"worse\" concepts are just like your opinion, man. If you accept where you’re at and your limitations, that’s the real key.\"