posted Apr 23rd
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.' (Proverbs 27:9) When you are an autism parent, lots of relationships and friendships change forever; some cease to exist.
Connections with people and relationships in our lives are very important. The support we feel, the friendship that is created can make such a huge difference in our daily lives. Although people want to be there for you, the things you experience on a daily basis are not relatable and for me, anyway, I either had to compartmentalize that friendship or just simply end it altogether as blunt as that may seem.
People get tired of hearing about your “problems” or the “issues” you had with your child and they don’t want to think about having to deal with what you do, in their own lives. It’s sad to say, but it is true. Even family relationships can look different. I have actually talked to many autism parents who say that one or more of their relatives does not want them to come to their house because it is “too much for them”.
In my opinion, I don’t blame these people at all. It’s a lot to handle and I don’t know how I would feel if I was in their shoes.
On the brighter side, I have met so many wonderful people because of autism. These people are ones I can confide in and I don’t have to sugar coat anything. They understand and even if there is chaos at times, we can connect and support each other. I have a very small circle of “my people” and all of these people even if not directly affected by autism have some connection to it in some way.
One of my closest friends is through some therapy that our son did with her many, many years ago. I know that God brought her into my life to not only help our son, but to be a real true friend to me and I am so grateful to her every day. She is truly one of the kindest people I have ever met in my entire life. I have another close friend who understands my situation because her son is also on the spectrum and although our stories may differ, the challenges, the battles and also the joys are something we can share together. We can also just listen if the other one has had a particularly difficult situation to deal with and just be there to support each other. For this person, I am truly grateful.
Although autism is not something that I would have chosen in my life, I also know that without it, I would not have the friends that I do today and I am truly grateful to God for this.
I have been reading in my own personal Bible studies lately, that God puts trials and hard things into your life so that your faith will be strengthened and so we have to rely on Him as we cannot do it by ourselves.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
God created us, He knows us and He sees us, through all of our imperfections and all of our daily struggles. We need to remember to trust in Him, even when we don’t understand the “why” of our situation. He is our comfort and our strength and if we lean on Him, we will never be alone or let down.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see”.
Hebrews 11:1
Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Families Coordinator
Amberlea welcomes and supports all families with exceptional needs, in particular children with autism. It is our desire to support and encourage families right where they are at. Shelly Wedge, our Exceptional Families Coordinator in her blog shares her own journey and offers insight and encouragement for families and how we can come alongside and support each other.