posted Aug 11th
"Quiet moments and self-care are two things that an autism parent practically never has and never does. It's not because we don't want to..."
Quiet moments and self-care are two things that an autism parent practically never has and never does. It’s not because we don’t want to, it’s because our life prevents us from doing this. In the summer, my son and I spend the time at our cottage (with my Mom). One of the things I love most about this place is sitting on the dock by the lake just staring at the sun. It’s lovely, tranquil and I could honestly do it for hours.
I also enjoy the slower pace of the cottage and small towns that surround us. No one is in a hurry (which sometimes drives me crazy!) but people are just enjoying their lives. Today I was in town to pick up some groceries and I watched as 3 older ladies sat on their lawn chairs by the boat locks. They were in the shade and they all had their own pizza from Godfathers. They were laughing and joking and just enjoying a nice afternoon. In a way, I envied them because my life is not like this.
I do have to say that even though I always have a lot going on, I enjoy the change of coming to the cottage, swimming, bingeing movies or TV shows and just being on a totally different schedule. In a way, this is my self-care. I may not always be able to control what goes on in my environment, but at least in the “cottage-life” environment nothing seems insurmountable.
I feel very fortunate that I am able to be up here spending time with my loved ones. We have had some rough moments up here already this summer with our son in terms of emotions and just having to take some extra medications so it has not been a lazy, easy time all of the time. I have to say that if I get to take a break from something I am truly grateful that it is from cleaning, making sometimes three different dinners, doing everyone’s laundry and just feeling like I can’t keep up.
Up at the cottage, I don’t care if I wear the same pair of shorts for 3 days in a row (don’t judge me). I am not focused on vacuuming, doing many loads of laundry and sticking to a rigid schedule. At the end of the day, I can breathe here. I can just enjoy nature, listen to the birds and eat whenever I want to eat. For most autism parents, this is a dream come true.
Jesus always took time away for rest on many occasions in the Bible. In Mark 1:35 it says “Very early in the morning while it was still dark, Jesus got up , left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” One could look at praying as a form of self-care because it is connecting you to God and God knows exactly what we need. When we seek God, we will get answers. That’s why reading the Bible is so important.
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark,
Jesus got up,
left the house and
went off to a solitary place,
where he prayed.” Mark 1:35
Even though autism parent self-care may not look like everyone else’s, it is important to find those 5 or 10 minutes if that’s all that you can get and do something for yourself. One of my favourite things to do alone (and with others) is to pick up bubble tea. Sometimes I may only have a short time before I have to pick up someone, so I will stop and get myself one and just sit in the car and listen to music. These moments are very precious to me.
I hope that whatever your life looks like and no matter how many things you have piled up, that you take a few moments and find yourself in something you enjoy!
Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Families Coordinator
Shelly Wedge
Exceptional Families Coordinator
Amberlea welcomes and supports all families with exceptional needs, in particular children with autism. It is our desire to support and encourage families right where they are at. Shelly Wedge, our Exceptional Families Coordinator in her blog shares her own journey and offers insight and encouragement for families and how we can come alongside and support each other.