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It seemed like I was making myself breathe a certain way, like my breath wasn't just going by itself.
Sometimes this can happen with the breath meditation. Usually breathing is happening on its own without our noticing it. When we put our attention on the breath, we may start to get the feeling we are manipulating it. Doesn't matter if that happens. Just continue the meditation, not minding the sense that you are manipulating the breath. That's just another thought. Let it go.
Copyright 2008 Mary and Richard Maddux