I am an activist who organizes among my schoolmates. As an introvert, I must admit that I still struggle to put collectivism into practice, as well as integrating among the masses, in my case my fellow students.

Before I became an activist, I was just a quiet person who only learned to develop fleeting, surface-level friendships. I just really enjoy solitude, and the peace of mind and the sense of self-control that it gives me. And when I interact with people for an extended amount of time, I feel my social battery draining. That might be a normal trait for introverts, but even just seeing my schoolmates both online or in person already makes me feel unhealthily anxious. This is why I struggle to form deeper relationships and to know other people better. As I advance through the movement, I am becoming more and more aware that my tendency to isolate myself from others hinder me to effectively organize my fellow students and even integrate in my collective. And so, I can’t help but feel remorse in my solitude while still indulging in it.

How do I become a good activist despite being socially anxious?

A

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Dear A,

First of all, I want to thank you for staying in this path, despite the challenge at every turn. Thank you, too, for aspiring to better yourself, knowing what all of this is for.

I would say that’s where everything starts: in our firm grasp of the Cause, and our role we need to play. From such a place it becomes easier to do things we would not otherwise be keen on doing, taking on responsibilities before we’re fully ready. You may not be aware of it, but I think that’s how you’ve been able to overcome your limitations – by fixing your gaze on what is at stake, and your place in it.

This journey of finding our purpose, contrary to popular belief, isn’t a eureka moment that magically transforms us into the activists we want to be. For most of us who still have to deal with everyday life in the System, and particularly for those who enjoy some privilege, it looks more complicated, like traversing a labyrinthine cave. At one point you get handed a torch to light your path, but if you don’t pay it good attention the flame burns out, and you’re in the dark again. You forget, or unlearn, and then re-learn, over and over.*

You can revisit the classic texts about why this society needs change, but I know, from experience, that going to the communities is the best way to motivate yourself when faced with your fears. There is, especially these days, a different kind of wisdom one gains in being among the masses and standing with them in their battles. It’s easy to talk about the need to persist, but so much more compelling would be joining the fray, living the struggle of those for whom resistance is not just a choice, but the only one.

In these experiences, we are powerfully reminded that we are not their savior, and nothing is more humbling than seeing our petty-bourgeois hesitations alongside their daily fight for survival. In truth it is the masses who save us, when we begin to drown in the illusion that there are things to aspire for other than liberating the oppressed. I may have spent so much time on this point; I guess I just wanted to stress that as long as you are deeply rooted in the why and the for whom, the how gets easier. In any case, I’m about to go there.

About a month ago, a friend shared a post that says, “Think of your politics as something you practice, rather than an identity or personality… All things are practiced imperfectly, and most practices that are done with intention and care improve over time. Take pride in your pursuit, not your perception of your politics already having ascended in some way that others should find admirable…”

If we approach things from this framework, we will see every task not as a problem, but a chance to learn. In the end, every role, every unit you get to belong to is an opportunity for you to know where you’re good at. And if not, then the next step is to know how to get better. What factors hinder our growth? Which of these are in our hands? Who can give us guidance?

Not everyone needs to become a mass leader or the life of meetings. Organizing also means all the hard work in between – gathering information, analyzing situations, writing about them, and coordinating among leaders, and these don’t require extraordinary social skills. As activism teaches us, no task is big or small. Campaigns will not come into being if no one laid out the guides. Protests cannot happen without our comrades who drive us to the venue, set up our stage, and marshall us on the streets. As long as you have the heart to serve, even (or especially) if your sole skill is cooking, you are welcome here.

On the other hand, I think it might be too early for you to already establish that you are this or that kind of person. You’re still young, and in any case the entire idea of our revolution is about making change happen, whatever the circumstances. So I’d say that even while closely observing where you’re skilled at, I hope you will always be open to new challenges, too.

May you never be afraid to reinvent yourself according to what the situation demands. Map your strengths and resources, and actively seek ways to hone and expand them. Be acutely aware of your comfort zone, then keep pushing it just a little bit further.

May you never be afraid to reinvent yourself according to what the situation demands. Map your strengths and resources, and actively seek ways to hone and expand them. Be acutely aware of your comfort zone, then keep pushing it just a little bit further.

Do one thing a day that scares you! From time to time, ask for tasks you’re unfamiliar with, and complete them with people you do not know. That is how we grow as an activist, and as a human being.

Step by step, person by person. It’s true that practice makes progress; for every nine nos you utter, say yes to something. Don’t be afraid to go into uncharted territories, anchored in your belief that you know what this is for. And if you feel you went a little too far and got a little distressed by it, find the activity and company that will bring you the comfort and relief.

As for your social battery, I urge you to keep exploring the kind of activities that replenish your energy. Schedule your day according to the physical requirements of your tasks, putting in plenty of time for rest in between. At the very least, prepare yourself for the demands of organizing work. A lot of times, we conflate our lethargy for what are the results of poor diet or sleep hygiene. This is why I always advise counselees to be mindful of their food intake and to sleep on time. We sleep before midnight and eat our veggies, to outlive our enemies.

Finally, I hope you don’t overlook that this path has already changed you profoundly, so more of that is not impossible. In any case, demanding the impossible is what we like to do. If we can envision bringing down a world order, surely we can have faith that you will, one day, find yourself feeling quite comfortable, enjoying, even, being in a crowd, particularly one that shares your most fervent hopes and dreams.

Shoot for the moon and the stars, A – there’s nothing to lose but your chains!

Sulong tayo!

Meg

*Here is a previous post on what makes a good activist, which goes along the same line of doing things repeatedly: http://bit.ly/3EzShlu