3. “Can you give some suggestions on dealing with betrayal in relationships?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Relationships] [Sexual misconduct] [Trust] // [Spiritual friendship] [Faith] [Virtue] [Generosity] [Discernment] [Judgementalism] [Monastic life]
Sutta: Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 46: The Highest Blessings (Maṅgala Sutta, Snp 2.4)
3. “Can you talk about how to work with infidelity, how to not take it personally? I recently found out that my husband of 30 years has had sex with others over the years that I didn’t know of.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Relationships] [Sexual misconduct] // [Precepts] [Trust] [Emotion] [Suffering] [Kamma] [Equanimity]
Sutta: AN 5.57: Five Recollections (Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 55).
9. “About a year ago, I was bullied and sexually harassed by a married male coworker. ... Any guidance as to how I can work with this and move beyond it?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Abuse/violence] [Sexual misconduct] [Work] // [Goodwill]
11. “Is there an obligation to reconcile with family before your death or theirs (especially when family has been particularly unskillful towards us)?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Forgiveness] [Sexual misconduct] // [Unwholesome Roots] [Kamma] [Equanimity]
Quote: “As practitioners, we have to find ways where other people’s past actions are not a source of our repeated feelings of anger, vengeance, or resentment.” [Aversion]
1. “How do I use the teaching today about investigating the cause of suffering when working with betrayal? Been married to high school sweetheart for 40 years. Raised children together and best of friends. Lately he has gone off the deep end. Midlife crisis? Who knows, but he started drinking and acting out sexually. The feelings of shock, betrayal, hurt, anger and fear are beyond words. If new relationship I would leave, but he has been in my life since I was a child. Impossible to accept but hard to leave. How do I find the cause of suffering (noble truth) you spoke of today? And how to bring some equanimity and space around this?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Cause of Suffering] [Relationships] [Family] [Intoxicants] [Sexual misconduct] [Aversion] [Equanimity] // [Virtue] [Kamma] [Spiritual friendship]
Reference: Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 55: The Five Recollections.
13. “When you’re living on the precepts, how do I relate to (for example) a friend who tells me about an affair they are having?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Jotipālo. [Precepts] [Spiritual friendship] [Sexual misconduct] // [Skillful qualities] [Admonishment/feedback] [Discernment] [Right Speech] [Vinaya] [Abhayagiri]
Quote: “Don’t admonish your fellow monks before the meal.” — Ajahn Chah. Quoted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Monastic life] [Food] [Eating after noon]
11. “It is the eighth evening of the retreat; feels timely to ask what was Ajahn Chah’s teaching for local lay people regarding sexual desire and sexual misconduct. Did he make a different emphasis when he taught westerners?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Lay life] [Sensual desire] [Sexual misconduct] [Culture/West] // [Culture/Thailand]
Story: In response to questions about sexuality, Ajahn Chah picks his nose. [Insight Meditation Society] [Humor]
23. “Apart from cheating in a relationship or sexual assault, what is sexual misconduct?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Sexual misconduct ] // [Relationships]