19 excerpts, 1:43:10 total duration
{100} “Can you say something about forgiveness practice?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Forgiveness ] // [Goodwill] [Clinging] [Asking forgiveness ceremony]
Reference: Bhikkhu Manual, p. 254: Asking for forgiveness ceremony
Vinaya: Bhikkhu Saṅghādisesā 12: The community grows through mutual support and mutual admonition.
2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 2, Excerpt 3
{150} “How to forgive a person who has hurt and done very wrong things to you?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Forgiveness ] [Abuse/violence] // [Aversion] [Memory] [Mindfulness of body] [Kamma] [Spiritual friendship] [Proliferation]
See also the previous question, “How do you deal with anger?”
Abhayagiri 25th Anniversary Retreat [2021], Session 12, Excerpt 9
7. Reflections about the role of faith in practice in response to three questions: [Faith] // [Faculties] [Discernment] [Energy] [Forgiveness] [Respect] [Rev. Heng Sure] [Relinquishment]
1. “It sound like Ajahn Chah was an arahant from your comments about his relics. How do you know? Are there many living arahants now? Should you seek one out as a Dhamma teacher?” [Ajahn Chah] [Arahant] [Relics] [Association with people of integrity]
2. “What is a ‘transgression against the Dhamma’ that we bow and ask forgiveness for during the Evening Chanting (Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 27)? What are some examples? Why do we do this practice of asking for forgiveness? Surely the Dhamma is bigger than us and doesn’t need it.” [Dhamma] [Forgiveness] [Chanting]
3. “What is the benefit of having a relic on the altar? Does it help our meditation?”
Quote: “On a certain level, we’re never going to figure this out.”
4. “As a guilt-ridden American, how do you respond to personal mistakes without guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West] [Great disciples] // [Saṅgha] [Conscience and prudence] [Pāli] [Skillful qualities] [Self-identity view] [Respect] [Perception] [Virtue] [Buddha]
Story: A monk falsely accuses Sāriputta (AN 9.11). [Forgiveness]
2. “How do we forgive close friends or family who harm us by not respecting our boundaries? Is forgiveness the same as reconciliation?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Forgiveness] [Family] // [Suffering] [Aversion] [Habits]
Reference: “Reconciliation, Right & Wrong” by Ṭhānissaro Bhikkhu.
8. “What is a good way to cultivate forgiveness and compassion deeper in the heart? What are genuine signs of progress?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Forgiveness] [Compassion] // [Suffering] [Ignorance]
Sutta: SN 15.1: “Bound by ignorance and obstructed by craving.”
9. “By chanting the Supreme Praise of the Buddha, Dhamma and Saṅgha (Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 23), we bow and ask for forgiveness and set a new intention. Although I don’t know any specific offense, is this general (just in case)? What if there are specific offenses? Is it enough to hold them in awareness?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Chanting] [Three Refuges] [Forgiveness] // [Humility]
11. “Is there an obligation to reconcile with family before your death or theirs (especially when family has been particularly unskillful towards us)?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Forgiveness] [Sexual misconduct] // [Unwholesome Roots] [Kamma] [Equanimity]
Quote: “As practitioners, we have to find ways where other people’s past actions are not a source of our repeated feelings of anger, vengeance, or resentment.” [Forgiveness] [Aversion]
5. Reflection by Debbie Stamp: Caring for dying and grieving Abhayagiri supporters and family members. [Abhayagiri] [Sickness] [Family] [Parents] [Death] [Grief] [Health care] // [Ajahn Pasanno] [Ajahn Karuṇadhammo] [Christianity] [Forgiveness] [Fear] [Impermanence] [Merit] [Doubt]
Reference: Debbie transcribed Ajahn Pasanno’s 2008 Metta Retreat, published it as Abundant, Exalted, Immeasurable, and dedicated the merit to her mother. [Meditation retreats] [Dhamma books]
Story: Ajahn Ñāṇiko hikes to the top of Mount Dana to dedicate merit to deceased relatives. [Ajahn Ñāṇiko]
6. Comments by the Abhayagiri Saṅgha about the nature of practice. [Forgiveness] [Similes] [Aversion] [Right Mindfulness]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Habits] [Idealism] [Patience] [Ajahn Chah] [Goodwill] [Long-term practice]
Comment: Patience remind me of going through deep grief. Contributed by Beth Steff. [Grief]
3. “Can you say something about forgiveness practice?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Forgiveness ] // [Goodwill] [Clinging] [Asking forgiveness ceremony]
Reference: Bhikkhu Manual, p. 254: Asking for forgiveness ceremony
Vinaya: Bhikkhu Saṅghādisesā 12: The community grows through mutual support and mutual admonition.
8. “Is it important in this practice to ask for forgiveness for intentional/non-intentional actions both in this life and in past lives?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Forgiveness] [Volition] [Rebirth] // [Compassion]
Refers to the earlier question about forgiveness.
14. “Is it possible to meditate on forgiveness for someone who died many years ago? Does forgiveness reach that person on some level, or is it more a matter of showing compassion towards myself?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Forgiveness] [Compassion] // [Kamma]
12. Comments by Rik Center about ongoing Dhamma practice and coming back to the heart. [Long-term practice] [Suffering] [Cessation of Suffering] [Ill-will] [Forgiveness] [Mindfulness of mind]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Merit]
Quote: “We’re making choices all the time anyway; we may as well choose to be happy.” [Volitional formations] [Happiness]
9. “If you have said something unskillful, what is the best way to face that?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unskillful qualities] [Right Speech] // [Forgiveness] [Truth]
11. Reflection by Ajahn Jotipālo: The importance of asking permission before asking forgiveness or admonishing someone. [Forgiveness] [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech]
Reference: Criteria for admonishment in the Buddhist Monastic Code’s discussion of Bhikkhu Saṅghādisesā 8.
8. “All these practices [in MN 20] have been useful to calm the thoughts in the moment, but with ill-will and forgiveness, it hasn’t genuinely changed the underlying emotion. I thought I had forgiven somebody, but ill-will comes up towards that person six months later. When do you genuinely change the underlying emotion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Calming meditation] [Ill-will] [Forgiveness] [Unwholesome Roots] // [Right Intention] [Conditionality] [Perfectionism]
17. “Is there a special way to develop lovingkindness?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Goodwill] // [Heart/mind] [Forgiveness] [Mindfulness of feeling]
9. Question about cultivating goodwill towards a difficult coworker. Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Work] [Goodwill] [Forgiveness] // [Suffering] [Right Effort] [Craving] [Relinquishment] [Kamma]
Comment: Sometimes having metta means leaving the situation. [Association with people of integrity] [Clear comprehension]
Reference: Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 46
9. “How to forgive a person who has hurt and done very wrong things to you?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Forgiveness ] [Abuse/violence] // [Aversion] [Memory] [Mindfulness of body] [Kamma] [Spiritual friendship] [Proliferation]
See also the previous question, “How do you deal with anger?”
11. “How to deal with self-blame due to losing a loved one to suicide?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Suicide] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Volition] [Proliferation] [Relinquishment] [Western psychology] [Forgiveness]
Quote: “People who commit suicide leave their skeletons in other people’s closets.” — Stephen Levine. [Stephen Levine]