Dear Meg,

How can I overcome my debilitating fear of leaving my current organization to move to where I am needed? Is it possible that I am not truly revolutionary because I feel this way?

I work as a full-time community organizer and can attest to my willingness to devote my time and life to the struggle. I am also aware that a good revolutionary can join the resistance wherever they are placed. But while I’m ready and even eager to relocate to respond to the call, I’m also sad and afraid. I’m concerned about adjusting to a new environment and going through culture shock, too.

I’m disappointed at myself because I should have known this, especially based on objective conditions. But the sadness is terrifying.

A

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Dear A,

Thank you for writing to me, and for taking this path.

I will always be happy to remind comrades, like I say in a recent piece, that staying on it is a willful decision, a most commendable act of sacrifice. This is not exactly a sweet life. There’s no promise of wealth or security, at least in the material sense. Many of us have had to endure hard times, and be away from loved ones.

But in activism we learn to make decisions based not on what’s comfortable, but on what the revolution needs. What it asks of us, we give.

That is, of course, easier said than done. In this journey there will be people and places we will come to love, things we’ll like doing more than others. And when that happens, it becomes harder to leave for different roles, or be part of another community.

There’s nothing wrong with having mixed emotions about these. Who wouldn’t be sad about saying goodbye? Who wouldn’t be afraid of moving to a new place? It doesn’t mean we’re no longer revolutionaries. It just means we have feelings, too.

In your letter you speak of being disappointed over how you feel, and I thought to remind that it’s generally unhelpful to judge our emotions. My mentor once said that feelings don’t require justification. They are there, whether we want them or not. They are there, whether they make sense or not.

What’s more important is what we do about them, and I know you’re trying to do the right thing, your emotions notwithstanding.

I would add that I think it’s normal for the youth, who are still discovering who they are as well as the world, to fear what they do not know (and if you ask me, that’s also quite normal for humans of any age). But what I can assure you is that learning and growth happen whenever we push against what we’re used to, and challenge ourselves to face new situations.

Like I tell counselees, when we’ve gotten too comfortable is precisely the best time to look for change, to find more challenging tasks, and wider terrains. Isn’t this also what our belief teaches us? That embracing – and resolving – the contradictions in our life brings the promise of growth. And that’s how we become better at carrying out our duties, and get ready for bigger battles. We chase after this growth, this readiness; our revolution and the communities we serve deserve no less.

I therefore wish you strength in facing similar moments of parting, the heart to bear the yoke of tough choices that will make the best activists out of us. And we will fight for a world where the next generations do not need to go through this pain. In the society we’re building, they no longer have to choose.

Please take care, A, and I send you many, many tight hugs!

Meg

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