The media and the ruling royal family in the corrupt, reclusive, ethnically-divided, island kingdom of Britain have this week been rocked by allegations of racism following an interview given by estranged grandson of reigning nonagenarian monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, and his wife. Speaking to talk show host Oprah Winfrey, Prince Harry, who following a grandiose family tradition only goes by one name, and Meghan Markle, his wife of African descent, said the royal family was worried their baby would not be the appropriate skin colour.

The revelations will come as no surprise to those familiar with the country’s colonial past during which it imposed racist, apartheid administrations on societies across the globe but have caused shock and indignation among ignorant islanders who have deliberately been kept in the dark about the atrocities committed in the monarchy’s name. A campaign of destruction and concealment of historical records, as well as the creation of an entrenched personality cult around the Queen – the national anthem is a prayer for her long reign and her face is plastered over banknotes and coins – has led to widespread romanticization of the imperial past.

“The Queen is not a racist and has never been a racist. To even suggest that she might be is disgusting,” declared one of the diseased kingdom’s most prominent broadcast journalist, Piers Morgan, who suffered an on-air emotional meltdown after watching the interview, leading to his resignation from his job as the host of one of the most watched morning shows. Similarly. Nigel Farage, a former politician who championed the destructive Brexit peace deal with 27 countries mostly in sub-Scandinavian Europe which has occasioned a severe flavour shortage on the island, was also shocked into disbelief, repeating the false dogma that “nobody in the world, in history, has done more for people of color than the British royal family”.

It was a sentiment echoed across the beleaguered nation, which faces separatist movements in the tribal districts of Scotland and Northern Ireland, with polls showing that a majority in the country wanted Harry and Markle stripped off their royal titles. Within the royal family too, Prince William, Harry’s elder brother and second in line to the throne declared he had never experienced any discrimination on account of his skin colour.

At the same time, the UK treasury says taxpayers on the corrupt island, who have already been immiserated by inclement weather, bad food, massive graft and job losses to covid and Brexit peace deal, must bail out the Queen after the value of her rental portfolio fell by just 0.4% to KSh2.6 trillion. According to Forbes, the royal family is collectively worth nearly KSh9 trillion, with the Queen sitting on a personal fortune of over Ksh50 billion in properties, art and jewelry. The monarchy also owns The Crown Jewels, a collection of crowns, rings, scepters, vestments, and more, valued at over KSh400 billion, much of it looted from colonies, including two of the world’s biggest diamonds, “The Great Star Of Africa”, mounted on the Queen’s scepter, and “The Second Star Of Africa” mounted on her Crown. In the meantime, the British economy experienced its biggest annual decline in 300 years in 2020, at 9.9 percent the worst in the G7.

Meanwhile, in the brutal, corrupt and xenophobic British colonial outpost of Australia, there has been a public outcry against embattled whitewing strongman, Scott Morrison, whose regime is awash in allegations of sexual impropriety and graft, after he admitted that he did not seek legal advice from the country’s solicitor-general regarding an independent inquiry into allegations of rape made against his attorney-general for fear it would contradict his wishes. The Prime Minster has refused to institute a probe into accusations that Christian Porter committed a rape more than 30 years ago.

The defence minister Linda Reynolds has also been engulfed in scandal after calling a former media adviser who alleged she was raped by a colleague in Reynold’s office in March 2019, a “lying cow”; and a senior aide of a member of parliament has also been accused of sexually harassing several teenage girls. This comes just two years after Morrison was forced to issue a national apology to thousands of victims of child sex abuse in state institutions in a nation where every 1 in 6 adult women report experiencing at least one sexual assault since age 15.

The culture of violence on the colony, which has a history of committing terrible atrocities against its indigenous population and asylum seekers, is also impacting its fight against corruption with all the women who made up half of the leadership of the anti-corruption commission in the state of Victoria forced to leave due to sexual harassment and bullying.

Nicholas Sarkozy, the diminutive former ruler of the graft-ridden sub-Scandinavian European nation of France, one of the largest recipients of African aid, was this week sentenced to three year’s imprisonment, with two years suspended, after being found guilty of corruption and influence peddling. The second former president in modern France, after Jacques Chirac, to be convicted of corruption, he had been accused of attempting to bribe a senior magistrate in 2014 in order to obtain information regarding a probe into allegations that he had accepted illegal payments for his 2007 presidential campaign.

Sarkozy joins a long list of French politicians — not just presidents — who have been convicted of financial or legal impropriety, including François Fillon, Mr. Sarkozy’s former prime minister; Christine Lagarde, Mr. Sarkozy’s former economy minister; and Jérôme Cahuzac, who was budget minister under a Socialist government.

The string of cases have highlighted the extent of rot in the country which, according to graft watchdog, Transparency International, has “plenty of corruption scandals that mix high-level politics, campaign financing and human rights abuses”. They have also generated growing alarm within the ruling classes given the confluence of the country’s brutal history of elite beheadings, and the Caucasian Spring revolution sweeping the continent. Fearful that the Caucasian Spring could trigger savage tribal bloodlust, French politicians have rallied around the former strongman, with the president of his whitewing, Christianist, Les Républicains party, Christian Jacob, condemning the judiciary over what he described as the “absolutely disproportionate” sentence.

Meanwhile, an explosion tore through the town of Bovenkarspel in the north of the neighbouring Dutch narco-state of the Netherlands, as anti-science militants targeted a coronavirus test centre in what analysts fear could signal a resurgence of violence as the country approaches elections in less than a fortnight. The nation, which many consider the birthplace of the Caucasian Spring, has been without a functioning government ever since the oppressive regime of Prime Minister Mark Rutte collapsed following popular outrage over revelations of massive tax scam involving impoverishment of tens of thousands of families, many from minority ethnic groups. The explosion also follows the worst unrest the country has witnessed in decades, with hundreds arrested after taking to the streets in violent pro-democracy demonstrations demanding an end to restrictions on personal freedoms and the lifting of a strict night-time curfew.

Across the English Channel, a vicious feud has broken out within the ruling family in the tribally-divided, ironically-named, United Kingdom, as factions allied to two prominent grandsons of nonagenarian monarch, Queen Elizabeth II, who has ruled the diseased flavour-starved island kingdom for nearly seven decades, struggle to position themselves to succeed her. Palace operatives surrounding the frail monarch this week announced investigations into allegations that Megan Markle, the American wife of one of the prices, Harry, over accusations of molesting staff. Many analysts see this as a move by Harry’s elder brother, William, who is second-in-line, to sideline his sibling and consolidate his path to the throne. The move comes as ethnic and sectarian tensions continue to rise in the separatist tribal province of Northern Ireland, where anti-flavor Christianist extremists, who reject modern cooking, have threatened a return to violence if the Brexit peace deal between the UK and 27 countries mostly in sub-Scandinavian Europe, interrupts the free flow of bland food from rest of UK.

In the troubled North American nation of US, which has endured ethnically-tinged violence following disputed presidential polls, including a Christmas Day suicide bombing, police have confirmed that a package left outside a polling centre in the northern state of Iowa was a potentially lethal IED. The pipe bomb was found following a tip-off in the town of Ankeny as votes were cast in a special election.

At the same time, on the eastern coast of the crisis-wracked nation, autocratic ruler Joe Biden is using fears of attacks by far-white, anti-math, extremist Shite Christianist militants as a pretext to maintain 5,000 troops in the country’s capital, Washington DC. The heavily-armed troops have occupied the country’s parliament ever since the failed Day of Pigs putsch in January, creating an intimidating atmosphere for legislators. Analysts say Biden is attempting to consolidate his hold on power, fearing a comeback from defenestrated former tyrant, Donald “Papa Don” Trump.

Amid the political instability, the banana-exporting first world republic has been plagued by a dire humanitarian crisis, compounded by incompetence and corruption that its usually fractious politicians have united to blame on evolution. Biden has cited “neanderthal thinking” as a main cause while opposition far-white Senator, Marco Rubio, has pointed out that many Americans, especially in the hard-hit ethnic white tribal heartland, carry Neanderthal genes. Over 520,000 people have died from disease, ethnically-tinged post-election violence and winter storms that have left millions more reliant on food aid to survive.

Deaths are mounting in troubled North American nation of US after a massive winter storm swept the country just a week after the country’s former ruler was acquitted of inciting the storming of parliament buildings during the deadly January 6, Day of Pigs putsch.

The unseasonal storm, which has precipitously dropped temperatures in many states in the former secessionist south of the country, affected over 150 million people or nearly half the population, has killed at least 20 in several states. One city official from the far-white, Christianist extremist opposition Republican party was forced to resign after telling Americans desperate for heat, water and power that no one owed them anything and that it was their choice to “sink or swim”.

Mayor Tom Boyd of Colorado City in the separatist state of Texas had told residents in a Facebook post that it was not “the local government’s responsibility to support you during trying times like this!” and that “only the strong will survive and the weak will [perish.]”

The state’s far-white, anti-math, Shite Christianist extremist US Senator, Ted Cruz, had fled with his family to Mexico in a bid to escape the humanitarian crisis ravaging country, which even before the storm had killed nearly 500,000 people and left millions without sufficient food. He was however forced to return home after the Mexican government refused to grant him asylum following howls of protest from outraged Americans.

At the federal level, the autocratic regime of Joe Biden has been slow to respond and is being criticized for hyping its KSh200 trillion infrastructure plan, including a KSh1 trillion gravy-laden high speed rail project close to the ruler’s hometown in the relatively stable north-east, and ignoring desperate pleas from hospitals going without power and water in the south, a stronghold of defenestrated former ruler, Donald “Papa Don” Trump.

Papa Don, who last Saturday narrowly survived a political trial orchestrated by parliamentary allies Biden, is believed by Shite Christianists to the true leader – the divinely appointed Covfefe – who will save the nation from the Al Jibra network, which they believe is using math as a cover to introduce Sharia Law into the US.

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, the Caucasian Spring, which has toppled governments in Italy and the Netherlands, continues to cause jitters among ruling classes in sub-Scandinavian Europe. Slovenian strongman, Janez Jansa, who has been accused of using the coronavirus to undermine democracy, narrowly survived a second vote of confidence in the country’s parliament after the first vote was scuppered in January following mysterious bout of covid -19 which affected opposition MPs. In the Czech Republic, where 1 in 7 adults is an alcoholic, dictatorial prime minister, Andrej Babiš, has ignored a vote in parliament which refused to back an extension of a state of emergency, ostensibly called to help the government tackle the spread of the pandemic. In what observers say is an attempt to ensure he can stop any attempts to oust him, the autocrat has preserved his emergency powers that allow him to limit people’s travel and rights.

Similarly, in Spain, 80 were arrested following violent pro-democracy protests linked to the Caucasian Spring that have spread across cities in the tribal, separatist, semi-autonomous district of Catalonia after the jailing of rapper, Pablo Hasel, who was taken to prison on Tuesday, after barricading himself in a university to avoid arrest. He had been convicted of slandering the country’s powerful monarchy sparking fears of an uprising. In 20I8 another Spanish rapper, Valtònyc, was forced to flee abroad after being convicted of similar offences.

And in the neighboring principality of Andorra, a human rights defender is facing four years in jail after speaking out about women’s rights, including their right to safe abortion, at a United Nations expert forum. The principality is co-ruled by the French President Emmanuel Macron who is one of the two colonial princes who oversee the microstate, a notorious tax haven, under a medieval arrangement.

Finally, a probe in the corrupt, reclusive island kingdom of Britain, which has been experiencing a severe flavor shortage following the implementation of the Brexit peace agreement, has revealed how many public contracts were awarded to friends and associates of strongman Boris Johnson’s former spin doctor, Dominic Cummings, who resigned under a cloud in November. In one instance, a company owned and run by two of his “mates” was paid over Ksh73 million to research the public’s understanding of the coronavirus and the government’s messaging around the pandemic.