Where will you be on September 6, 2023? Yes, you. Where will you be?

I hope you will be at a place that is easy to remember. Your children and grandchildren will ask you, “Where were you on Wednesday, September 6, 2023?”

That is the day that Nigerian billionaires will travel to India with Pres. Bola Tinubu to learn the Indians’ magic of going to the Moon.

By the way, why didn’t Bola Tinubu take Bishop David Oyedepo with him? I don’t understand this Tinubu sometimes. Doesn’t Bola Tinubu know that the man is a billionaire? Not just like Apostle Suleman, whose private jet is in the mechanic in Ekpoma, David Oyedepo goes around boasting that he changes private jets the way ordinary people change their bicycles. 

You heard that Indians landed on the Moon. They did not just land on the common part of the Moon where the Americans, Russians, and the Chinese have been going to and pooping all over the place. No. The Indians went to the South Pole. And two weeks after, as if that was not awesome enough, they sent a spacecraft to the sun. I don’t know about you, but I’m scared. One day, those Indians may switch off the sun.

Anyway, whatever voodoo the Indians used to go to the Moon, Dangote is going to New Delhi to grab it, snatch it, and bring it home to Nigeria.

Just the same way he brought home the biggest refinery in the world and forever solved Nigeria’s petroleum problems.

Just watch out. He will do it, with or without Godwin Emefiele and his $3.4 billion cash advance. Before Bola Tinubu’s presidency is over, the Dangote Space Agency will commence the transportation of Dangote cement to the Moon to construct the first Dangote Hotel on the lunar surface.

Ok. Let me stop.

On Wednesday, September 6, 2023, the Presidential Election Petition Tribunal will rule on the case of Peter Obi, Atiku Abubakar versus Bola Tinubu and INEC.

Whichever way they rule, it will be historic. Nigeria’s elections will never be the same after.

If they rule for Tinubu and ignore the inconsistencies in his background stories and the forgeries of his certificates, it means that those of us who got a series of F9s in WAEC should stop worrying and just go to Ojuelegba and pay for them to cook up any certificate we want.

If they rule that what Wike did in Rivers State didn’t matter, more Wikes will populate the Nigerian political space, and a new era of “might is right, and woe to the weak” will begin.

If they rule for Atiku or Obi because of the 25 per cent question in Abuja, I will move to Abuja because Abuja people will automatically become a special breed.

If your side wins, please don’t celebrate like Portable, who was invited to perform at the NBA conference and decided to climb poles and trees. The man was invited to encourage his fan base to attend law school. 

The good news is that the SSS has warned you people to stay at home and take the news like brave men and women.

Another warning came from retired Supreme Court Justice Mary Odili. For those of you who do not remember her, she is the wife of Peter Odili, the former governor of Rivers State. Her husband was the first man in the world to get a judgment that said that no court should try him for anything he ever did before he became governor, anything he did as governor, and anything he did after becoming governor, only in Nigeria. Donald Trump will kill for that kind of judgment.

So, retired Justice Odili broke it down, for those who have ears.

The woman is a genius. If you doubt me, go and read her widely published historical judgments. Listen to her again.

If you are tired of Mary Odili, I feel sorry for you. Two of her daughters, beautiful, brilliant daughters, are already judges. If you know what is good for you, just behave well.

Whatever you do, remember that there is an Odili on the bench waiting for you behind in a court near you. Nonsense!

So, what was I talking about? Head or tail, Nigeria will make history on Wednesday. 

Christopher Columbus said this about how he discovered the New World. He said, “Following the light of the sun, we left the old world.”

Are we going to follow the light of the sun on Wednesday? Or are we going to follow the shadow of the valley?

What we follow on Wednesday will determine if we will continue to be trapped in the prison of history or if history will be trapped in our prison.

The choice is ours. By ours, I mean ours. Not just the judiciary. Us. After, who did this to us? The next question is, what are we going to do about it?

Good morning,  Nigeria.

Rudolf Ogoo Okonkwo teaches Post-Colonial African History at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. He is also the host of Dr. Damages Show. His books include “This American Life Sef” and “Children of a Retired God,” among others. His upcoming book is called “Why I’m Disappointed in Jesus.”