Right Speech (sammā-vācā)
Includes tags: Right Speech, False speech, Malicious speech, Harsh speech, Idle chatter, Admonishment/feedback
5. “When someone shows you how to do something correctly but the manner in which they convey the message is rude, what is the most skillful thing you can do to let the person know they were perceived as rude but fully absorb the content of their beneficial message?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech] // [Cultural context] [Equanimity] [Nonviolent Communication]
8. “What duty do we have to parents who often act foolishly and use harmful and abusive language?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Parents] [Abuse/violence] // [Right Speech]
Story: Ajahn Ñāṇiko’s grandfather vows to treat his children with kindness. [Family] [Goodwill]
6. Reflection by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo: Lovingkindness in speech and the ethic of sharing circles at Abhayagiri. [Goodwill] [Right Speech] [Abhayagiri] [Sharing circles] [Communal harmony] // [Principles of Cordiality] [Ajahn Sudanto] [Listening] [Nonviolent Communication] [Conflict]
Sutta: MN 48.6: Kosambī Sutta.
13. “I have loaned something to my brother, and he just won’t give it back to me no matter how many times I ask him. How would you approach this situation?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Virtue] // [Right Speech] [Clear comprehension]
5. “How does one practice wise restraint in lay life when one has to deal with family, friends, coworkers, and so on? Especially on the level of speech and emotions that one encounters.” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Sense restraint] [Lay life] [Right Speech] [Emotion] // [Discernment] [Unwholesome Roots] [Appropriate attention] [Continuity of mindfulness] [Mindfulness of body] [Clear comprehension]
Vinaya: Conditions for skillful admonishment in the Buddhist Monastic Code’s discussion of Bhikkhu Saṅghādisesa 8. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech]
5. “How to have a difficult conversation with someone when your mind is coming from a bad place towards that person? My brother has just arrived for a short visit after living abroad for many years, and lifelong resentment arises unexpectedly towards him. I’ve tried metta and awareness of the sensation and think both will be useful in the long term, but for now, the resentment is still there, and I fear that having some legal conversations which need to take place now will end in disaster. Any advice?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Speech] [Aversion] [Family] [Goodwill] // [Truth] [Right Intention]
6. “In conversations that are difficult or where I want to ‘look good,’ I try to stay with the body and watch the thoughts. I am determined to not say something unskillful or selfing, and then Bam!—before I know it, out it comes. It is very humbling.” Answered by Ajahn Cunda. [Right Speech] [Blame and praise] [Mindfulness of body] [Clear comprehension] // [Right Action] [Mindfulness] [Conceit] [Self-identity view] [Sense restraint] [Virtue] [Gladdening the mind]
6. “I have a tenant who rents a room from me. We have a rather harmonious relationship and thing go great. However, when she needs something fixed, she reports it with lamentation, complaining that the handyman didn’t do a good job last time. He never does a good job, and whatever we fix, she’s fine with it until the next thing she wants attended to. … How do you tell somebody they can point to what is broken and not make an issue out of it in a casual way that is not teacherly?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Impermanence] [Aversion] [Admonishment/feedback] // [Habits] [Monastic life] [Recollection/Virtue] [Kamma]
Quote: “Patience is peaceful coexistence with the unpleasant.” — Ajahn Sumedho. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Patience]
2. “Regarding the reading from the Udāna about the monks making a loud racket (Ud 3.3), the lynchpin for me was that the Buddha dismissed them by saying, ‘Go away,’ but Yasoja understood the words were said out of sympathy, wanting what’s best for them. It’s very difficult when someone admonishes you out of anger and judgement. How can one be inspired from admonishment rather than becoming defensive maybe even regardless of the other’s intent?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Buddha/Biography] [Admonishment/feedback ] [Compassion] [Aversion] [Judgementalism] // [Impermanence] [Truth]
Sutta: Dhp 76: Admonishment likened to hidden treasure. [Admonishment/feedback ] [Similes]
Vinaya: Pc 54: Disrespect is to be confessed. [Harsh speech] [Vinaya]
4. “Thank you for this wonderful retreat. I would be grateful if you could share some teachings that would be a support to abstain from eating after 12 pm.” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Meditation retreats] [Eating after noon] // [Determination] [Health] [Simplicity] [Precepts] [Proliferation] [Medicinal requisites]
Metaphor of admonishing one’s own mind. [Admonishment/feedback] [Symbolism/metaphor] [Ajahn Chah] [Ajahn Ñāṇiko]
Vinaya: Bhikkhu Nissaggiya-pācittiya 23; commentary in Buddhist Monastic Code Vol. 1, p. 333.
3. “During times of intense joy and happiness, I find that joy and happiness itself can trigger worry, fear, or desire to control. From this morning’s teachings, I took that one way to skillfully hold happiness is to share it; another is to express gratitude for it. Do you have any advice on how to hold happiness when it feels almost too big to release into?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Happiness ] [Fear] [Gratitude] // [Self-identity view] [Compassion] [Discernment] [Right Speech] [Admonishment/feedback] [Humility]
Sutta: AN 2.126: Two conditions for the arising of Right View. [Right View] [Spiritual friendship] [Appropriate attention]
Quote: “What is the essence of the Buddha’s teachings? You are not what you think.” [Not-self] [Proliferation]
16. “How does one reconcile perceived imperfections and unskillful behavior in Buddhist institutions and interactions with teachers?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unskillful qualities] [Teachers] // [Monasteries] [Monastic life] [Admonishment/feedback] [Blame and praise]
Quote: “The Buddha set up an institution that was not assuming infallibility.” [Buddha] [Lay life] [Human]
Sutta: Dhp 227: Nobody lives without criticism.
10. Story: Chatting loudly with the windows open. Told by Ajahn Cunda. [Idle chatter] [Abhayagiri] // [Ajahn Pasanno] [Admonishment/feedback]
1. “What was your experience of Ajahn Chah’s personality and character? What was most inspiring about how he conducted himself?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah ] [Personality] [Personal presence] // [Teaching Dhamma] [Admonishment/feedback] [Not-self] [Equanimity] [Humor]
Quote: “If you tried to create a CV for what a Bodhisattva should be, Luang Por Chah would fit that bill.” [Bodhisattva]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno chose to stay with Ajahn Chah for five years because he aspired to Ajahn Chah’s unshakeability. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Wat Pah Nanachat]
Story: Ajahn Chah gave the farang monks playful Thai names. [Thai] [Ajahn Sumedho] [Ajahn Amaro]
4. “I’ve been pondering Ajahn Chah’s phrase, ‘Right but not true; true but not right.’ I’ve never been able to figure our ‘Right but not true.’ …” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Ajahn Chah] [Truth] // [Clear comprehension]
Quote: “You are right in fact but wrong in Dhamma.” — Ajahn Chah. [Dhamma]
Story: Ajahn Sumedho reports Ajahn Buddhadāsa’s different approach to Vinaya to Ajahn Chah. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Ajahn Buddhadāsa] [Vinaya]
Story: Ajahn Sumedho criticizes an outspoken monk’s loud speech at Pāṭimokkha. The monk leaves Wat Pah Pong soon after. [Harsh speech] [Admonishment/feedback]
2. “Does Ajahn Chah’s phrase, ‘Right in fact but wrong in Dhamma,’ imply that there is an objective world of facts and then a world above that which is Dhamma?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro and Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Truth] [Dhamma] // [Etymology] [Conventions] [Ajahn Sumedho] [Harsh speech]
Note: This phrase was discussed during the previous session.
Stories about the Buddha’s disciples who had killed people. [Great disciples] [Killing]
Suttas: MN 86: Aṅgulimāla Sutta; the story of Kuṇḍalakesī (Commentary to Dhp 102-103, Dhamma Verses Commentary translated by E. W. Burlingame and Ānandajoti Bhikkhu, p. 500).
Recollection: The lay disciple Pansak would sometimes show up drunk after work and spend the night under Ajahn Chah’s kuti. Recounted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Lay supporters] [Intoxicants]
Story: The monk Por Suey had been a hit man hired to kill Ajahn Chah. [Ajahn Chah lineage] [Crime] [Wat Pah Nanachat]
1. Comment by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo: AN 7.61 goes from some basic aspects of training through a graduated training. [Gradual Teaching]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Sloth and torpor] [Mutual lay/Saṅgha support] [Idle chatter] [Spiritual friendship]
4. Comment by Ajahn Kaccāna: When discussing views, it is not helpful to put people into a corner where they must either defend their view or admit their stupidity. [Views] [Right Speech]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Relinquishment]
Sutta: MN 63.9.
5. When we live in community, in vihāras, seclusion (at least kāyaviveka) is not so available … Comment by Anagārikā Deepa. [Saṅgha] [Seclusion]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Idle chatter] [Ajahn Sumedho] [Chithurst]
6. Comment: I find noises that I have no control over easy to leave alone. But if it’s something like, “If I have a word with that person, I can get him to stop making that noise,” it’s harder. [Equanimity] [Aversion] [Admonishment/feedback]
Response by Ajahn Amaro. [Ajahn Sumedho]
10. “If you are constantly around someone who engages you with prolonged and agitated discussion, how do you handle that?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro and Ajahn Pasanno. [Idle chatter] // [Mindfulness] [Clear comprehension] [Admonishment/feedback]
Sutta: MN 2: Sabbāsava Sutta.
Quote: “Never give feedback to your fellow samaṇas before the meal.” — Ajahn Chah. Quoted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Admonishment/feedback] [Monastic life]
Quote: “We can be completely mindful of taking initiative. Our capacity to act is part of the way things are.” — Ajahn Amaro. [Right Action ] [Discernment] [Right Mindfulness] [Buddha/Biography]
9. Comment by Ajahn Amaro: The Buddha is always inclined towards drawing conversations to a close (MN 122.6). [Buddha/Biography] [Teaching Dhamma] [Idle chatter] // [Loneliness] [Media]
Sutta: SN 10.3: Sūciloma.
12. “The eight training precepts that some monastic traditions ask you to take as a lay person when you are reading suttas or attending Dhamma classes—do different Theravāda forms include this?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro and Ajahn Pasanno. [Lay life] [Precepts] [Bhante Gunaratana] // [Culture/Sri Lanka] [Culture/Thailand] [Right Speech]
9. “Is there a story about when Ajahn Chah wanted to give feedback to a senior monk and he waited 20-30 years?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Admonishment/feedback] [Ajahn Chah] // [Culture/Thailand]
1. Quote: “Whatever speech doesn’t take into account the reality of impermanence is not the speech of wise person.” — Ajahn Chah. Quoted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Right Speech] [Discernment] [Impermanence]
12. “When someone opens up about issues or something difficult they are dealing with, when should one just listen and when should one say something that might help?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Listening ] [Right Speech] [Compassion] // [Spiritual friendship] [Trust] [Virtue] [Goodwill] [Admonishment/feedback] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Abbot] [Ajahn Chah]
3. “Can renunciation be practiced in three aspects: material, speech and mind?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Renunciation] [Relinquishment] // [Right Speech]
6. “What’s the biggest story you’ve had to work through yourself? Did you have any moments when you really had to step up?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Monastic life] // [Fear] [Ajahn Chah] [Delusion] [Admonishment/feedback]
Quote: “I want to live in a way that is exemplary and free. I don’t want to live under the tyranny of my own anxiety and delusions.” [Liberation]
11. “If you had to choose between having a monk who talks too much and a monk who doesn’t talk at all, which would you choose?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Idle chatter] [Monastic life]