Aversion and Ill-will (dosa-byāpāda)
Includes tags: Aversion, Ill-will
1. Discussion about desire as natural and the reduction and eventual elimination of desire. Led by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Desire] [Sensual desire] [Naturalness] [Craving] // [Aversion] [Cause of Suffering] [Judgementalism] [Cessation of Suffering]
Reference: “Why Come to a Monastery?” by Ajahn Candasiri in Friends on the Path by Ajahn Sundarā and Ajahn Candasirī, pp. 13-21.
The word natural carries positive connotations in English. Comment by Ajahn Kaccāna. [Language] [Culture/West]
1. Comment: I have to brace myself when someone is about to kill a bug. [Killing] [Judgementalism]
Response by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Conscience and prudence] [Aversion] [Admonishment/feedback] [Ajahn Ṭhānissaro] [Goodwill] [Precepts]
3. “Could you give some guidance on when to patiently endure and when to use discernment to deal with something?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno, Ajahn Karuṇadhammo and Ajahn Jotipālo. [Patience ] [Discernment] // [Right Effort] [Skillful qualities] [Unskillful qualities]
Story: A fortune teller reads Ajahn Chah’s palm. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Aversion]
2. Discussion about evaluating the results of practice. Led by Ajahn Pasanno. [Meditation/Results] [Right Effort] // [Faith] [Investigation of states] [Self-identity view] [Not-self]
Comment: I notice that I have preconceptions about the way I evaluate my practice.
Response: Ajahn Pasanno distinguishes between investigation and evaluation.
The very pattern, “What will make me good enough?” is suffering. Comment by Ajahn Kaccāna. [Habits] [Cause of Suffering]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno.
Story: Aversion towards the nada sound and the importance of having a teacher. Told by Ajahn Jotipālo. [Teachers] [Ajahn Jotipālo] [Sound of silence] [Aversion] [Insight Meditation Society] [Ajahn Amaro]
5. Story: Ajahn Kalyano instructs monks to memorize the organs while watching an autopsy. Told by Ajahn Jotipālo. [Ajahn Kalyāṇo] [Unattractiveness] [Mindfulness of body] // [Aversion]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Aversion] [Disenchantment] [Dispassion] [Skillful qualities]
1. Discussion regarding mindfulness, the brahmaviharas, and radical acceptance led by Ajahn Pasanno. [Mindfulness] [Divine Abidings] // [Conditionality] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Pain] [Spaciousness] [Aversion] [Dependent origination]
1. “Where does the expression ‘sad is mad’ come from?” Answered by Ajahn Jotipālo and Kondannyo Bhikkhu. [Grief] [Aversion] // [Depression]
Quote: “Depression is anger without enthusiasm.” — Anonymous. Quoted by Tan Suddhiko. [Aversion]
1. Question about views on whether the cause of suffering is desire or clinging to desire. Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Craving] [Clinging] [Cause of Suffering] // [Ajahn Ṭhānissaro] [Idealism] [Suffering] [Cessation of Suffering]
Reference: Salutation to the Triple Gem: “Rūpūpādānakkhandho...”
Follow-up: “Is the greater suffering the reaction to pain?” [Pain] [Feeling] [Aversion]
Quote: “All these different teachings and expressions of teachings....We don’t have to make them mesh, but try to figure out what they are pointing to.” [Hearing the true Dhamma] [Recollection/Dhamma]
12. Comments by Rik Center about ongoing Dhamma practice and coming back to the heart. [Long-term practice] [Suffering] [Cessation of Suffering] [Ill-will] [Forgiveness] [Mindfulness of mind]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Merit]
Quote: “We’re making choices all the time anyway; we may as well choose to be happy.” [Volitional formations] [Happiness]
10. “Can you talk about working with the practice in what seems like perilous times?, e.g. the rise in overt expressions of hatred toward sectors of society and the associated change in national leadership? How does one cultivate equanimity while also not turning away?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Politics and society ] [Ill-will] [Equanimity ] // [Divine Abidings] [Goodwill] [Conflict] [Aversion] [Judgementalism] [King Rama IX]
Sutta: Dhp 5: Hatred is never overcome by hatred... [Ill-will]
13. “What about aversions that have a message, as a signal to understanding something? How is one to trust that from regular aversion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Aversion ] // [Conditionality] [Unskillful qualities] [Skillful qualities] [Heedfulness]
11. “Can you speak a bit about aversion and letting go? I’m dealing with the loss of my brother and the ending of a 15 year marriage. The painful memories are hard to process, and it is easier to push them away. I’d like to “know” and “let go” of them.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Aversion] [Relinquishment] [Grief] [Relationships]
15. “How do I deal with a negative person? His/her perspectives are mostly in the way of downsides, pointing out people’s faults, his/her bad experiences, etc. If that person is a life partner or family member, how to turn him/her to become better?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Aversion] [Family] // [Right Speech] [Patience]
4. “When you go into your body to feel the underlying emotion behind a thought, what happens when the bodily feeling is so uncomfortable that you really don’t want to feel it?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Mindfulness of body] [Emotion] [Directed thought and evaluation] [Suffering ] [Aversion] [Fear] // [Recollection/Buddha] [Recollection/Saṅgha] [Recollection/Virtue] [Faith]
Follow-up: “It seems really difficult to think of Dhamma or the refuges while in such a wrapped-up state. I don’t know if I could do that.” [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Visualization] [Goodwill] [Compassion]
8. “All these practices [in MN 20] have been useful to calm the thoughts in the moment, but with ill-will and forgiveness, it hasn’t genuinely changed the underlying emotion. I thought I had forgiven somebody, but ill-will comes up towards that person six months later. When do you genuinely change the underlying emotion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Calming meditation] [Ill-will] [Forgiveness] [Unwholesome Roots] // [Right Intention] [Conditionality] [Perfectionism]
5. “Where does allowing the thought to be there for a little bit come in? For example, if you’re thinking about a past event that means something to you, and you’re trying to stop it, and all of a sudden you realize, ‘Oh, it’s okay. This is meaningful to you.’ And it really loses power.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Present moment awareness] [Directed thought and evaluation] // [Ill-will] [Craving not to become] [Mindfulness] [Clear comprehension]
5. Story: A black man asks a KKK member, “Why do you hate people you have never met?” [Discrimination] [Ill-will] [Views]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Listening]
1. “Does physical pain fit under sensuality as the opposite, pushing away?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Pain] [Sensual desire] [Aversion] // [Fear] [Health care]
4. “Do you remember the sutta that compares people’s behavior to a puddle?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Sutta] [Similes] // [Ill-will]
Sutta: AN 5.162 Removing Resentment
5. Comment: Some deep-seated patterns may be more visible to others than ourselves. [Community] [Outflows] [Monastic life] [Saṅgha]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Aversion] [Self-identity view]
8. “Kataññu-katavedi refers to receiving kindness and the recognition of the gift of kindness. How are we to understand cultivating the intention to offer kindness to others?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Gratitude] [Compassion] [Generosity] [Ajahn Chah] // [Happiness] [Mindfulness of feeling] [Aversion] [Contact] [Spaciousness] [Direct experience]
Story: Villagers ask Ajahn Chah how he can teach Westerners when they don’t speak Thai. [Culture/West] [Language]
Quote: “Dhamma is the language of experience.” — Ajahn Chah. [Dhamma]
2. Reading: Stillness Flowing by Ajahn Jayasaro, p. 427 “Work is Dhamma Practice” Read by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Work ] [Eightfold Path] // [Everyday life] [Aversion]
11. “What is the best way to navigate the people that we love that have unskillful behaviors but we don’t want to cut out of our lives?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Spiritual friendship] [Unskillful qualities] // [Compassion] [Patience] [Truth] [Aversion] [Admonishment/feedback]
12. “The duty in regard to the First Noble Truth is to understand suffering. How do you do this?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Noble Truth of Suffering ] [Suffering] // [Fear] [Pāli] [Characteristics of existence] [Aversion] [Postures] [Direct experience] [Conditionality] [Relinquishment]
1. “In Canada, medical assistance in death is legal. As an old person who will be sick and dying not too far off, it raises the question: If I got to the point where I felt even with good palliative and hospice care, I couldn’t withstand the pain any longer, it’s an option. But what about the first precept of not taking life?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Sickness] [Pain] [Death] [Health care ] [Euthanasia] [Killing] // [Relinquishment] [Self-identity view] [Idealism]
Quote: “Being present for the falling apart of the body opens doorways to release that don’t really happen with, ‘I just want to be done with this. This totally sucks.’” [Present moment awareness] [Mindfulness of body] [Release] [Aversion] [Fear] [Clinging] [Saṃsāra]
1. “Do you feel metta is to be developed or do you feel metta is just an outcome of your life and your practice?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Goodwill] [Right Effort] [Conditionality] // [Meditation] [Precepts] [Calming meditation] [Suffering] [Aversion] [Appropriate attention] [Gratitude]
9. “What would you use for someone who is extremely confused and angry? Lovingkindness seems so far away.” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Delusion] [Aversion] [Goodwill] // [Concentration] [Spaciousness]
8. “You mentioned that ruminating on how one would like to change the world or the conditions around oneself can be a source of needless suffering. But there are times when one does want to work to change the world or the way society is organized for the sake of lovingkindness and alleviating suffering. How do we engage with those desire for change in a skillful way?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Politics and society] [Suffering] [Desire] [Goodwill] [Compassion] [Skillful qualities] [Activism] // [Conditionality] [Self-identity view] [Conflict] [Poverty] [Judgementalism] [Aversion] [Culture/Thailand] [Environment] [Idealism]
Quote: “If one is going to commit oneself to change, one has to get used to looking at things from a big perspective, a perspective of ‘How do we include rather than exclude?’” [Community]
Quote: “You want to approach a particular problem with an open a mind as possible and then see who might be willing and able to help.”
6. “Is there something called fierce compassion in the Theravāda tradition? If so, how is that different from resentment or anger?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Fierce/direct teaching] [Compassion] [Theravāda] [Ill-will] [Aversion] // [Ajahn Mahā Boowa] [Suffering] [Teaching Dhamma] [Admonishment/feedback] [Spiritual bypass] [Ajahn Chah]
Story: Ajahn Chah calls newly-arrived Tan Pasanno lazy. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Chanting]
7. “Why is turning the left side of your body to the Buddha disrespectful? How does one disregard another person in a skillful way to remove resentment? (AN 5.161)” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Respect] [Ill-will] // [Goodwill] [Culture/India] [Culture/Thailand] [Theravāda]
9. “How do we overcome unpleasant mental or physical feelings in the present moment?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Feeling] [Present moment awareness] // [Aversion] [Fear] [Suffering] [Goodwill] [Ajahn Sumedho]
Sutta: DN 22: Mahāsatipaṭṭhāna Sutta [Mindfulness of feeling]
10. Comment: I had a stroke 3 1/2 months ago, and the health professionals say I can’t do this or that. I find this frustrating. [Sickness] [Health] [Aversion]
Response by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Dhamma] [Recollection/Dhamma] [Recollection]
8. “Regarding metta practice, sometimes metta is there and it helps to handle challenging situations. But sometimes there is restlessness and hostility, and I get reactive. How to work with this so the mind can be tamed?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Goodwill] [Restlessness and worry] [Aversion] // [Continuity of mindfulness] [Spiritual friendship] [Emotion] [Spaciousness] [Happiness] [Tranquility]
2. “How to balance the tension between the warrior energy (taking action), the awareness of the perfection of all that is, and the weariness and humility that leads through this?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Effort] [Present moment awareness] [Disenchantment] // [Suffering] [Discernment] [Fear] [Human] [Gladdening the mind] [Aversion] [Recollection] [Nature of mind] [Tranquility]
Sutta: AN 1.296-305: The Ten Recollections
Quote: “The happy mind is easily settled.” [Happiness] [Concentration]
8. “How do you deal with anger?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Aversion ] // [Sense restraint] [Right Speech] [Mindfulness of body] [Proliferation] [Spaciousness] [Patience] [Goodwill]
9. “How to forgive a person who has hurt and done very wrong things to you?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Forgiveness ] [Abuse/violence] // [Aversion] [Memory] [Mindfulness of body] [Kamma] [Spiritual friendship] [Proliferation]
See also the previous question, “How do you deal with anger?”
14. “During the Q&A yesterday afternoon, I heard the recommendation to set a boundary (Session 12, question 6). I feel that creating a boundary is falling into the category of the Five Hindrances. The Buddha taught us to practice the brahmaviharas which are boundless. Please clarify why we need to set a boundary.” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Hindrances] [Divine Abidings] // [Aversion] [Abuse/violence] [Leadership]
7. When and how to develop the mind of lovingkindness. Teaching by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Principles of Cordiality] [Goodwill] [Heart/mind] [Communal harmony] // [Aversion] [Conflict] [Patience] [Spaciousness]
Sutta: MN 48: Kosambi Sutta.
Quote: “Peaceful coexistence with the unpleasant.” — Ajahn Sumedho’s definition of patience. [Ajahn Sumedho]
5. “Could you speak more about how to prevent feelings from becoming aversion or desire? How does this relate to Dependent Origination?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Feeling] [Aversion] [Craving] [Dependent origination] // [Arahant] [Buddha] [Pain] [Mindfulness] [Birth] [Impermanence] [Happiness] [Direct experience] [Proliferation] [Master Hsuan Hua]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno breaks his pelvis in Thailand. [Ajahn Pasanno]
7. “How to turn grief of the planet and humankind into creative action?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Grief] [Environment] [Human ] [Activism] // [Generosity] [Gratitude] [Purpose/meaning] [Community] [Aversion]
Quote: “If you think you’ve got to solve the problem completely yourself, that stirs one into inaction.”
Recollection: The nonprofit organization founded by Ajahn Pasanno to protect forests in Thailand is still operating. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Non-profit organizations] [Culture/Thailand]
1. “By moving to lovingkindness [meditation], I may be missing some of the deeper insights and wisdom that are present in feelings of anger, ill-will, and resentment. I think this is what is referred to as spiritual bypassing. Can you speak to this distinction or provide suggestions for accessing the wisdom that may be present within or underneath the hindrances?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Goodwill] [Aversion] [Ill-will] [Spiritual bypass ] [Discernment] [Hindrances] // [Truth] [Suffering] [Benefit/gratification]
Quote: “Sensual desire is just trying to get a relief from suffering. Even anger and ill-will...and the same with all the rest of the hindrances. They are looking for some relief from suffering in some way, shape, or form.” [Sensual desire]
4. “Would you be willing to share memories of Ajahn Chah?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] // [Ajahn Pasanno ] [Temporary ordination] [Personality] [Not-self] [Equanimity]
When asked about the core essence of the Buddha’s teachings, Ajahn Chah replies, “Is this a big stick or a little stick?” [Teaching Dhamma] [Conventions] [Cause of Suffering]
Story: Ajahn Chah pretends to forget simple questions in order to embarrass his translator. [Forest versus city monks] [Media] [Aversion] [Questions] [Translation] [Similes]
Recollection: Ajahn Pasanno writes to his family that he’s staying in Thailand because Ajahn Chah is peaceful, solid, clear, and unshakeable in the midst of all that’s going on around him. [Family] [Tranquility] [Clear comprehension]
6. “What about a serious practitioner who refuses machines and procedures to extend life?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Health care] [Suicide] [Aversion] // [Relinquishment]
5. “Can you give some context to the story of Ajahn Chah getting angry and yelling at a monk and then regretting it, practicing with it?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Aversion] // [Unwholesome Roots] [Fierce/direct teaching] [Protocols]
Recollection: Ajahn Chah said that it wasn’t until he took on the responsibility of teaching others that he really gained wisdom. [Teaching Dhamma] [Discernment]
Reference: “Toilets on the Path,” Collected Teachings of Ajahn Chah, p. 723.
2. “So Luang Por Sumedho had a bit of a temper in the beginning?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Aversion] // [Ajahn Chah] [Humor]
5. “What is often the most neglected quality in individual monks? What are the most important qualities to develop for the benefit of the group?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Monastic life] [Saṅgha] // [Idealism ] [Drawbacks] [Aspects of Understanding] [Four Noble Truths] [Patience]
Sutta: SN 22.26: Assādasutta
Quote: “Other than me, everyone is irritating!” [Aversion] [Humor]
3. “When we develop this awareness of the self and the non-self there is sometimes this shock about annihilation and how to avoid that. I think it can be a shock sometimes when we realize that we are not that self and we notice this aversion to the self.” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Not-self] [Aversion] // [Ajahn Sumedho] [Becoming] [Craving not to become] [Right Effort] [Self-identity view] [Attitude] [Appropriate attention]
3. “Does it mean that these three stages [of awakening] are still shaky? Like they can still go back to thingness?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Stages of awakening] [Arahant] // [Stream entry] [Realms of existence] [Impermanence] [Once return] [Sensual desire] [Ill-will] [Non-return] [Fetters] [Ajahn Chah]
Reference: Śhūrangama Sūtra, Fifty Skandha Demon States.
3. “Using the words passion and greed as if they are interchangeable seems difficult for me to see. Passion seems a lot wider. How is one passionate about something? How am I greedy about something? If I’m passionate about Buddhism, how am I greedy about Buddhism?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Desire] [Greed] // [Unwholesome Roots] [Aversion] [Etymology] [Teaching Dhamma] [Practicing in accordance with Dhamma]
Suttas: SN 56.11: Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta (Chanting book translation); SN 22.59 Anattalakkhaṇa Sutta: (Chanting book translation); SN 35.28: Ādittapariyāya Sutta (Chanting book translation).
Follow-up: “I relate more to rage and passion than I do to greed. Is it okay to make my three poisons…?” [Aversion]
4. “Is the Buddha incapable of rage and passion himself? From the coolness of enlightenment as he described it, could you not use rage and passion skillfully? Like you’re acting but aware of it for the liberation of all beings, using it in a skillful way, dispassionately full of compassion. Does that make sense?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Buddha] [Aversion] [Desire] [Liberation] [Compassion] // [Fierce/direct teaching] [Vinaya]
Vinaya: Bhikkhu Pārājikā 4.1.2: A harsh rebuke by the Buddha.
1. “A question about physical pain. Sometimes it feels like I can deal with a certain level of pain, but every now and again there’s a level of pain that is too intense. Is there a technique for being okay with whatever level of pain?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro and Ajahn Pasanno. [Pain] // [Aversion] [Fear] [Goodwill] [Tranquility] [Buddha/Biography]
Sutta: SN 36.6: The Arrow.
Suttas: MN 53.5, AN 10.67, SN 35.243: Examples of the Buddha stretching his back.
Comment: In Vietnam, native peasants needed less morphine than Americans paying for health care. [Health care]
Responses by Ajahn Amaro and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Attitude] [Sickness]
2. “As the ten fetters start to be cut, can you expect to not get so lost in feelings and thoughts? Does the time you get lost reduce?” Answered by Ajahn Amaro. [Fetters] [Heedlessness] // [Stream entry] [Realms of existence] [Non-return] [Sensual desire] [Ill-will] [Once return] [Fame and disrepute] [Conceit] [Blame and praise] [Craving for material existence] [Craving for immaterial existence]
Reference: Śhūrangama Sūtra, Fifty Skandha Demon States.
4. “When developing disenchantment and dispassion by seeing the way things are, how do we not go to the extreme of aversion or the craving of unbecoming?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Disenchantment] [Dispassion] [Aversion] [Craving not to become] // [Suffering] [Four Noble Truths]
Story: Ajahn Chah prods Ajahn Pasanno to reflect on suffering. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Ajahn Pasanno]
1. “Would you say that with the ending of greed, hatred, and delusion that these are eradicated and don’t arise anymore?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unwholesome Roots] [Cessation] // [Knowledge and vision] [Cause of Suffering] [Buddha] [Arahant]
Follow-up: “We hear sometimes that it arises, but the person isn’t grasping it.”
Comment by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo: This is similar to Ajahn Chah’s declaration, “Yes, I have a lot of anger, but I don’t pick it up.” [Ajahn Chah] [Aversion] [Relinquishment]
Story: Ajahn Chah explains that the many lines in his palm mean that he had lots of suffering. [Suffering] [Ajahn Viradhammo] [Teaching Dhamma] [Discernment]
6. Quote: “Whenever you have feelings of love or hate for anything whatsoever, these will be your aides and partners in building pārami. The Buddha Dhamma is not to be found in moving forwards, nor in moving backwards, nor in standing still. This, Sumedho, is your place of non-abiding.” — Ajahn Chah’s only letter to Ajahn Sumedho. Quoted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Ajahn Sumedho] [Greed] [Aversion] [Perfections] [Dhamma] [Middle Path ] // [Relinquishment] [Knowing itself]
6. Comment: I find noises that I have no control over easy to leave alone. But if it’s something like, “If I have a word with that person, I can get him to stop making that noise,” it’s harder. [Equanimity] [Aversion] [Admonishment/feedback]
Response by Ajahn Amaro. [Ajahn Sumedho]
5. Reflections by Ajahn Amaro on “Passion is a maker of measurement; aversion is a maker of measurement...” (SN 41.7). [Perception] [Judgementalism ] [Sensual desire] [Aversion] // [Unwholesome Roots] [Conventions]
Quote: “Is this long or short?” — Ajahn Chah. [Ajahn Chah]
9. Recollection: Ajahn Pasanno’s first lunar observance night at Wat Pah Pong. Recounted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Wat Pah Pong] [Lunar observance days] [Ajahn Chah] // [Monastic life] [Pace of life] [Patience]
Quote: “You learn as you go. You expand your ability to go beyond the limitations you set for yourself.” [Learning]
Quote: “The more you resist and complain in your mind, the more you suffer.” [Aversion] [Suffering] [Habits]